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In an attempt to not seem so shocked at Kim's change in appearance, I looked around at the people in the bar, as she approached me. There were men in suits at a corner table, along with what appeared to be a few young male and female gay couples at different tables located around the pub. There were...

Fun idea and an unusual take on a familiar trope. You obviously did not want any extreme humiliation which is fine. The story was short but sweet, which is again fine. However a little more development would have improved it. A physical description of Sarah and a little background like age, job etc ...

I agree with Debbiefan in that dialog among characters would have gone a long way towards making the story engaging. Your take on the plot is solid and offers a lot of potential and the title (Sarah the Shy Exhibitionist) is brilliant but reading just a narrative without fleshing out your characters...

I see your story as more of an outline than a full complete story, which is not a bad thing in itself because it's a very good outline. The action moves so quickly though and without dialogue or heavy details, which is why it feels more like just an outline. What I liked was that the entire focus of...

With Sarah I may of started with. Sarah, was a shy, quiet girl. She had long brown hair that came down to her waist. Her two piece bikini was baby pink. Her breasts were double D, and the bikini was double knotted. Sarah occasionally liked to show off, but her shy side stopped her. Sarah felt the wa...

This is a good story base for a first attempt. The constructive suggestions can help you revise this story and improve future stories. I have tried writing some myself but I have discovered that even with constructive suggestions, I just am not a good writer. Please keep working. I am enjoying the c...

As to the capitalization I think that's a side effect of typing on a phone into a word document app. My God, man.... I think I would rather be sodomized by Andre the Giant than ever attempt to type a full story on a freaking phone keyboard. My condolences. As for the second version, it is a little ...

This is coming along nicely now. The only real issue is that the pacing was far too rushed in the last paragraph, which should really be split into three distinct paragraphs (losing bottoms, cum panic and cumming in towel, the walk of shame back). Flesh out those three scenes a little more and this ...

I wouldn’t worry about using a phone to write. I do all my stories on phone. Sometimes I do add Ons using my laptop but the 99% majority of my stories are written using my phone. Based on your story, your writing is improving, the more stories you write the more techniques you will gain. Learning is...