The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

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swguy123
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by swguy123 »

For anyone who has already read chapter 3, I edited it a bit, expanding it quite significantly, so you might want to read it again.
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Executionus
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by Executionus »

Finally got the chance to read through this whole thing. It was very good throughout in many ways, albeit pretty extreme by the end. Emily was well played for sure and her shame was feel-able in this. My one complaint is that I had expected all three tasks to be initiations of various humiliation based on their names (example Meet and Greet = shaking hands nude in a huge crowd, Model Citizen = Assuming explicit poses for the camera while naked, and then Butt). I was a little disappointed when Kimberly and Jennifer got to just go home barely even feeling embarrassed by the end, especially since half the plot centered on Anne's raging jealousy of Jennifer.

Also I can't locate the original story this is based on anywhere (and apparently Earl Hofert is an alias of David Letterman, so searching for that in Google is worthless). If you have a link to the original you should post it.
swguy123
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by swguy123 »

Thanks for the comment.

Yes, it does get pretty extreme towards the end. I always like it when stories start as more innocent ENF, but progress towards real humiliation.

Yes, I can definitely acknowledge your complaint. The three tasks were supposed to be initiations similar to what you described in the original story (but it seems that it was never finished past Butt of the Joke). I preferred to focus on humiliating just Emily as I think being the only one naked and the unfairness of the situation adds to the humiliation. I guess I should have made it more apparent to the reader that the other two tasks were nothing embarrassing sooner, not to build such expectations.

Here is the link to the original:
https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/vie ... php?t=2913
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by computerphoto »

You could make the other 2 tasks as embarrassing, since it totally up to you to design what outcome is for them and there nothing that says they can't be even as embarrassing or even worse. The one Jen has to do with meet and greet could be even more embarrassing, she could have to spread herself totally spread eagle on a table then have everyone reach out to meet and geet her and then have her show how she gets off, the sky the limit to what they could have to do. Yes it sad for poor Emily but she decided to slow down and not try and win that race. So I guess it her own fault for doing that.

swguy123 wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 6:52 am Thanks for the comment.

Yes, it does get pretty extreme towards the end. I always like it when stories start as more innocent ENF, but progress towards real humiliation.

Yes, I can definitely acknowledge your complaint. The three tasks were supposed to be initiations similar to what you described in the original story (but it seems that it was never finished past Butt of the Joke). I preferred to focus on humiliating just Emily as I think being the only one naked and the unfairness of the situation adds to the humiliation. I guess I should have made it more apparent to the reader that the other two tasks were nothing embarrassing sooner, not to build such expectations.

Here is the link to the original:
https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/vie ... php?t=2913
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by Debbifan »

swguy123 wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 6:52 am I preferred to focus on humiliating just Emily as I think being the only one naked and the unfairness of the situation adds to the humiliation.
Totally agree with that and it added to my enjoyment too. Very good completion. The three tasks / punishments were excellent. I am not normally a fan of pissing but for some reason, in this case, it seemed the perfect culmination.

The epilogue with the communal viewing of the web site was also good. Many stories threaten pics and videos going on the net as a blackmail device but this really spelled it out.
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Re: The Embarrassing Initiation (Spinoff Contest)

Post by Juncker »

Fantastic story! The descriptions for the girls were all great and the action was easy to follow and understand just how embarrassing it was.

My only gripe is a personal issue in that I feel that Emily was treated too harshly at the end. I know you wanted to lean into the unfairness but the epilogue just kept dumping salt into the wound. I realise that’s what some people enjoy reading and writing though, but I feel like the poor girl needs some kind of respite after all she’s been through. :(
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