We remained in Eddie and my Aunt’s room while Juggs shaved her pubes in the bathroom. I had never watched a woman shave her pubic hair before. Juggs had to trim the shag with scissors and then shave the fine hair with a ladies razor. She took special care to pull her clit and labia out, so that she could shave in the fine hairs in the folds.
“Jesus Mom, are you trimming it back or going as hairless as a little girl?” Harley observed the methodical way that her mother removed all the hair from the flaps, folds, and wrinkles of her pussy.
“Your father wants me hairless as they day I was born. It’s going to itch like crazy,” she assured us. Juggs asked me to bring her the tweezers from the medicine cabinet while she squatted over a mirror and shaved herself in the bathroom.
My Aunt sat on the edge of the bathtub and plucked single pubic hairs out one by one. I could tell from how she winced that it must have hurt a great bit. When she was done her pussy was swollen, puffy, with raised bumps all over it, but it was also completely hairless.
“That actually looks really good,” Harley noted with amusement.
“My cunt feels good. It’s going to breathe a lot better,” Juggs observed warmly – not minding her daughter’s sarcasm.
However, when she returned to the living room, Lloyd, Gerald and my Uncle laughed and pointed and she blushed.
“Looks like a baby’s butt crack!” Lloyd observed of his mother’s pussy.
“Juggs actually shaved her Beaver,” Gerald stuck his front teeth out and pretended to be a Beaver gnawing through wood or pussy. I am not sure but he had a good laugh.
“That crevice is going to make a wonderful imprint in the bikini. I was tempted to let you keep SOME hair so that it will be obvious your bottoms are see through when they get wet, but I really like this. I want you to keep your cunt shaved from now on.”
“Me too, Daddy?” Harley asked sweetly. She was still in her long shirt and covered.
“No, you don’t have too. I know it would be embarrassing,” he shrugged as if he didn’t care. I noticed that Harley seemed almost disappointed. He thought about his daughter’s question and told her to lift her shirt in the front so that he could look at her pussy.
Harley did as she was instructed. She wasn’t wearing panties – she seldom did at home.
“What’s that hairy monster from Star Wars? Chewbacca? Yeah, you should groom yours down to how Juggs used to have her bush,” Eddie decided.
My cousin dropped her shirt back down and accepted her father’s decision. I wondered if he’d ask me to lift my shirt. I wondered if I would if he did. I told myself that Eddie wouldn’t dare. I didn’t have the courage to ask how I should groom myself. I felt like such a silly girl – out of place and immature.
Juggs needed a beer before we left. Her sons kept making rude comments about her bald pussy. “Skirt steak” was the most vulgar of all the descriptive words they used for it.
Everyone had a beer before we left. I had one too, but I didn’t finish mine. Juggs put on the bikini that she handmade just for today’s excursion to the YMCA. She modeled it for us.
I had never seen anything quite so scandalous. She looked more naked in that bikini than she had when she wore no clothes at all.
The brown strip around her chest was little more than a half-inch of material that wrapped around her bodacious tits. There were two patches in the front that covered her areola, but did very little to hide her bulging, extended nipples.
Juggs had sexy back muscles, especially around her shoulder blade. The bikini showed those off marvelously and drew my eye to her upper back and long neck.
The thong she wore for bottoms rode up a little and wedgied her slit so that it looked very prominent. Her butt was so big that string in the back disappeared in her ass crack and it looked like she wasn’t wearing anything at all.
Several of us predicted that we’d be lucky if we got kicked out. I think it was Lloyd that bet that his mother would be arrested for indecent exposure.
“if anyone complains, send them to me. We will bring the suit that Juggs wore yesterday. If it becomes a hassle, then she can change into that, or we’ll just leave. I am there to punish your mother, not punish the others who came to the pool just to have a good time.”
“Juggs is proud of her body, and she seems to like being naked. How is this really a punishment?” Patrick asked.
“You are right that Juggs is an extrovert and a show-off, but on her own terms. She is such a show-off that I have to go to extreme measures like this suit to embarrass her. That’s what I was trying to explain to you last night,” my Uncle replied to my brother.
“Imagine if I told you that you had to fuck any woman that asked, and you had women asking to have sex with you all day. That kind of a punishment wouldn’t work on a man, because we don’t process the world the same way women do.”
Eddie explained there was a female condition in how we were raised to make us lie and manipulate, soften our features with makeup, pad our bras, and we have to be the ones to say no to sex or people would just lay around and fuck all day and never get anything done.
“What’s wrong with that?” Lloyd laughed.
“My point is,” Eddie continued with his example. “Most women if you told them they had to fuck anyone who asked would consider it a punishment. It’s like you asked earlier, when you brought up even if the guy is fat, old and smelly.”
We remembered that conversation and that made a lot of sense. I would be truly horrified if I had no choice and had to have sex with anyone that dared to ask me – not that anyone ever had.
Eddie explained that there was no one size fits all to any solution. “There are rules for guys, and rules for girls and generally they work. However, sometimes you have an exception to the rule.”
He turned to his wife, smacked her hard on the butt with pride and laid it out for us. “Juggs wll admit she is a dumb bitch, and a horny little cunt. She gets off on fucking all the time, and you are right. She likes to show off that little gash between her legs. In order for her to swallow the medicine, I have to make the pill big enough to choke her with it.”
We didn’t fully get his metaphor until he explained with an example. “What might embarrass any proper woman is probably going to amuse your mom. A hard slap on the butt is like a kiss on the lips to her. That means to truly embarrass her, I have to make her walk two miles naked, or spank her tits until they are red for the punishment to take effect – Juggs has a higher tolerance than most for discipline.”
The way that my Uncle explained it – that made a lot of sense. I had felt a little sorry for Juggs – especially because she was being punished for putting me in the bikini yesterday.
“That’s why you call Aunt Juggs names,” Patrick surmised. He gave an example of calling her a dumb bitch, or a stupid fat-ass. “You aren’t trying to just hurt her feelings or break her down. You are trying to embarrass her,” he suggested.
“I honestly, hate the name Aunt Juggs a lot more than being called a dumb bitch. Just Juggs will be fine, Patrick,” my Aunt joked. “Besides, I AM a dumb bitch, so I am just being honest. It really isn’t that big of a deal. You can call me one anytime you like, Patrick.”
“Yeah, that’s why you say Dumb Bunny in mixed company,” Gerald pointed out that his mother was probably not telling the complete truth and the names really did bother her. They certainly would have mortified me in public places even as a term of endearment.
“I say dumb bunny, because I am trying not to offend people. If your father is okay with it, you can call me a dumb bitch in public, because I am,” Juggs said as she tucked her bikini up. The material around her crotch was so low that at least 2 inches of bare skin of what would have been the top of her pubic hair was visible.
“No way, people will think I am a dick head for insulting my mom,” Gerald pouted and folded his arms across his chest.
“Good point,” Eddie intervened. “If it really doesn’t bother you then your mission today is to call yourself a dumb whore, a fat-ass, and a stupid bitch at least five times in public before the end of the day, or you’ll walk home naked and spend the night clothespinned for dinner again.”
“You just want to see me clothespinned,” Juggs mused but agreed to her husband’s challenge.
“I was thinking about the clothespins you use,” Patrick offered. Eddie was instantly amused and curious. I believe Lloyd and Gerald were a little jealous that my Uncle favored my brother. “What about tight little rubber bands wrapped around the base of her nubs? Juggs could wear those under her clothes or even that bikini.”
It was a brazen suggestion. My brother had no business really intervening in how my Uncle punished his wife. I could imagine Juggs feeling a sense of humiliation that how to punish tits was being discussed right in front of her and that her nephew had devised a way to do it effectively.
Juggs stood dumbfounded and looked at her husband. Eddie told her to retrieve some rubber bands from from his toolkit on the table in the living room. Juggs could easily pop her top and expose her nipples. They were still sore and puffy from the clothespins she had worn that morning.
Eddie tried a few different rubber bands of different sizes but couldn’t get them to stay on. Patrick explained that he’d need to twist them and use one at the base and one to constrict the top of his Aunt’s nipples. He was staring right at them as Eddie followed his instructions.
Juggs looked slightly amused and flattered as Eddie fidgeted in vain to band her nipples. He eventually gave up and snapped the rubber band hard against the tender pink flesh of his wife’s nub.
“Here, you try,” Eddie handed the rubber bands to my brother.
“You want me to put them on her?” Patrick looked sheepishly at his Aunt. He was clearly not expecting that offer. Juggs stood there motionless, hands behind her back.
“No, I was thinking you could apply the rubber bands to yourself, and then bump chests with Juggs and transfer them that way,” Eddie replied sarcastically. “If you are uncomfortable touching her tits, don’t do it. Half of Yellowstone county has though. It was a good idea,” Eddie stopped talking when Patrick summoned the courage to touch his Aunt’s breasts.
He didn’t maw them, or honk them.
“Ooh, you warmed up your hands first, thank you,” Juggs smiled as my brother cupped her left breast with one hand and then twisted the rubber band around the base much like a hair scrunchy I would use to give myself pig tails. He rolled it all the way down to the base and pinched it.
“How does that feel?” he asked.
“I am afraid to say or Eddie may tell you to stop,” she smiled devilishly. Her nipples were so long and distended that they reminded me of Rufus’s penis. Patrick applied the second rubber band to the tip.
“Can I flick it a little?” she asked him. I didn’t think she needed Patrick’s permission. He nodded and she flicked the nipple and smiled. My brother applied the second set of rubber bands to her other tit much the same way.
“I like it,” Eddie noted. “It may feel good right now, but let’s see how you feel when we get a few miles down the road. We’ll have to monitor your nipples to see if the rubber bands cut off blood flow.”
“Oh yes, they are cutting off blood flow already,” Juggs gushed a little. She was genuinely blushing. I couldn’t believe that my brother had really touched my Aunt’s tits right in front of everyone.
“Are you going to be okay to drive?” Eddie asked as she pulled the bikini top back over her swollen, distended nipples.
“Yes, it takes a little getting used to. Thank you, Patrick. This hurts but in a good way,” she complimented my brother. She wasn’t gushing pussy juice all over the place or having a wild orgasm like my cousin had the night before – but it was obvious that the rubber bands had stimulated her body.
Gerald and Lloyd patted him on the back. Harley said he might want to wash his hands after touching her tits. “You don’t know how much cum has been squirted all over those things!”
“I took a shower this morning,” Juggs smiled and dismissed her daughter’s comment as a joke. However, no one else but me doubted that my Aunt probably had her tits glazed with semen more than a few times.
As naïve as I was about sex, I assumed when a man ejaculated he did so in a women’s pussy to make a baby. I couldn’t imagine why or even how a man would ejaculate all over a woman’s tits because I had never heard of that. I assumed that with Juggs anything was possible and pictured Lloyd and Gerald masturbating in the shower. They shot their loads all over the tub – that could just has easily been a woman’s naked body.
It was a very erotic thought but at the time I assumed that people would not choose to do that if they could have vaginal sex. I know that sounds silly, but as a teenage girl – you have a lot of strange thoughts about sex before you actually do it. I still believed that I had physical “cherries” inside me that would pop and my future husband would know I was unfaithful if I had sex before marriage.
We piled into the car. Harley and I were relegated to the middle seat. Harley sat on her brother Lloyd’s lap but told him that if he got a boner she would give him a “Hertz Donut”. She demonstrated what that was by punching him in the arm with two knuckles on her fist and asking him “Hurts? Don’t it?”
I had to just squeeze in where I could between Gerald and Patrick. It was incredibly cramped in the backseat.
Juggs had to drive us in the bikini she was planning to wear to the YMCA. I would imagine that a police officer would have thought she was completely naked if he looked over at her in the driver’s seat.
We listened to the radio and talked on the way to town. One of the cheesiest earworms of 1976 was a one-hit wonder by the Starland Vocal Band. If you don’t know this song, I can’t truly describe it to you. It’s sung by a chorus of very enthusiastic men and women in a sugary-sweet over the top way.
Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto’s always been ‘when it’s right, it’s right’
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way
Thinkin’ of you is workin’ up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight...
I had never given much thought to the meaning of the song. It was on the radio all the time. Innocuous, saccharine sweet bubble gum pop but when you really listen to the lyrics – it’s very raunchy.
It was clearly about two people deciding to get together and have sex in the middle of the afternoon. It was sung almost like a country song in a cutesy way and I guess that’s why it got on the radio.
The song took on a whole new meaning now that Lloyd, and Gerald knew what their mom was going to do when she got to the pool.
“Are you going to get some Afternoon Delight, Juggs?” Gerald quipped.
(Sighs) “Probably, Gerald”
“Hey Juggs, is thinking about it working up your appetite?” Lloyd teased his mother by singing like the corny Starland Band.
“Yeah, are you ready to rub some sticks and stones together?” Gerald quoted a lyric from the song.
“Make some sparks ignite?” Lloyd piled on.
“Gosh guys, cut Juggs some slack,” Harley finally intervened.
“It’s okay, Harley. They are just having some fun. You’ve known I get Afternoon Delight for a long time. They just found out today. I can be a good sport about it. Yes, Gerald. I always thought a fish could not be caught who wouldn’t bite. There is some bait a waitin’ at the Y and I think I might try nibbling!” Juggs sang the chorus to the song in a fruity sort of flirty way that indicated she was fine with teasing. My Aunt clearly loved sex and saw nothing intrinsically wrong with admitting it – now that everyone in the stationwagon knew about it anyway.
I admired Juggs for how she could embrace it – I would have been devastated.
“Skyyyy—Rockets in Fliiiiiight...” Eddie sang the lyrics to himself long after that song was no longer playing on the radio. “Oh God-Damnit, now you boys have that song stuck in my head,” Eddie chuckled. He promised to kick the ass of the next person in the car to quote a lyric from that song.
I hadn’t been with the Davidsons very long. They were SO different from my parents. Juggs may have been my mother’s sister and they looked a lot alike in the face but the similarity ended there. I had to admit that I was enjoying their sense of humor and openness a lot more than I did back home.
My parents believed that “Kids were to be seen and not heard.”
I am not kidding. My mom told me that so often when I was growing up. Here were the Davidson’s just shouting out the most rude comments and laughing while they did it. It was a lot of fun.
Juggs mentioned that she probably needed to stop and get gas before we got to the YMCA. She didn’t ask permission to do EVERYTHING. However, I was beginning to notice that everything Juggs did around Eddie she politely ran past him to see if he objected to it or not. Even something as mundane as fueling up the car.
It wasn’t a formal “Master, may this one please obtain fuel from the gas station” or anything like that.
However, there was a submissive defference
In the 1970s, we went through a big gas crises. The cars coming out of Detroit were gas-guzzlers and there was an OPEC crises. We honestly thought 60 cents a gallon was highway robbery. I laugh about it now.
Eddie mentioned something called the “Wenkel engine”. He said that the auto industry would probably hate it because it was very fuel efficient. “A car could run on nothing stronger than perfume,” he laughed.
“Do you know how much women’s perfume costs? Way more than gasoline,” Juggs laughed breezily.
“One day, cars will probably run-on electricity,” Eddie predicted. He was a real futurist.
“Yeah, like a golf cart?” Lloyd thought that was another of his father’s ridiculous predictions.
“What will happen when the car runs out of electricity? Get a really long extension cord?” Gerald pretended we’d need a five mile long extension cords.
“Batteries and capacitors,” Patrick sided with Eddie.
“Exactly,” Eddie nodded. “The technology doesn’t exist today, but as we reduce the size of batteries but increase the storage capacity, you would be able to drive an electric car for the same range as a gas powered car.”
“What if you have to take a cross-country trip? You are going to drive a few hundred miles and then do what? pull into a charging station and plug it in?” Gerald scoffed.
“They thought the same thing about automobiles in the day of the horse and buggy,” Eddie explained. “There was no infrastructure for gas stations, highways or even paved roads. They had to build it once there was demand. If electric cars catch on they will find a practical way to recharge while you are on a trip.”
“Maybe there will be an onboard generator, like an alternator, that recharges the battery,” Patrick mused.
“The problem is perpetual energy and the laws of thermodynamics. You can’t efficiently generate power through an alternator,” Eddie explained that there was a law of declining return. It went over my head but my brother understood the theory.
“That’s as ridiculous as unleaded gasoline,” Lloyd disagreed. He thought the idea of an electric car was as improbable as gas stations switching to unleaded. In 1976, almost all cars ran on leaded gasoline. However, Jimmy Carter and the democrats of the time wanted to switch over all new cars to run on unleaded. Lloyd swore that he would never drive a “Rice-burner” (foreign import from Japan) as he called it. “People in Montana like cars with a little get up and go,” he assured his father.
It was a lively discussion and not an argument. The guys dominated the conversation. Harley and I just sat in the backseat and kept making goofy faces at one another.
“I am not sure whether to invest in that or my friend’s new startup out in California,” he said.
“The college drop-outs with the wooden computer box?” Juggs asked incredulously.
“Yeah, they are calling it Apple because it looks like an Apple box,” Eddie replied.
“It’s up to you, Honey. You know best, but I do not see why anyone would buy a bunch of circuit boards,” Juggs shrugged as she pulled into the gas station.
“Microprocessors are the wave of the future. People will want home computers and these guys are selling kits for the home hobbyist to build it themselves. They are essentially creating a template that you can follow. What will follow is a standard operating system and software that we can share to make our lives much easier,” Eddie predicted.
“What are you going to do with a computer, Dad? Launch a moon rocket?” Gerald was skeptical.
“The possibilities are endless, Son! If you want a practical example, imagine a farmer’s almanac except it can predict and learn. It could increase our ranch’s productivity,” Eddie dreamed out loud and pontificated of the future of artificial intelligence and predictive modeling.
“Can you play games on it? Pinball?” Lloyd asked. He loved pinball games.
“There are video games that are being developed by a friend of mine that I went to the University of Utah with. I gave him the idea for a tennis game. You move a dial to approximate the location of the player, and digital circuits move a blip on screen to make contact with another blip that would become the ball. I call it blip because of the sound the ball would make. You know? Like blip ... blip ... blip ... I don’t know if he ever did anything with it, but sure. Video games would be possible as some sort of novelty,” Eddie suggested. (That game later became Pong).
“Nolan Bushnell?” Patrick asked excitedly.
“Yeah, Nolan. You’ve heard of him?” Eddie was surprised.
“He runs a company called Atari,” Patrick explained that he read about him in a popular science magazine.
“Yeah, my friend Steve Wozniak and some other kid he knows used to work for Nolan. They are the ones that are making the Apple computer kits – small world!” Eddie was really impressed with my brother. He considered Wozniak to be the brains of the operation and the other “kid” to be a replaceable nobody sales guy. (That guy was Steve Jobs).
“Can you look at pictures of naked ladies on a computer?” Gerald changed the subject.
“Why would anyone want to look at pictures of naked ladies on a computer? When you can have the real thing in your own house?” Eddie asked. His one prediction that was WAY off the mark.
“Yeah, but who wants to just look at Mom and Harley’s fat tits all the time?” Gerald countered.
Harley made a frowny face, like she was going to make a farting noise with her lips when she was brought up.
“If you want to see new tits, you can get a girlfriend or a wife, or both,” Eddie replied with a funny wink. “If that is too much work, you can buy a couple of nudie magazines. I doubt very seriously that pornography is ever going to find a home in the serious nature of microprocessors, but anything is possible, Son.”
We were almost to the Yellowstone Valley YMCA and about out of gas.
There was also a time when it was unheard of that you had to pump your own gas. There were a lot of fuel stations that offered “full service” where they charged a little more and pumped your gas, wiped your windows, and checked your oil, and then the cheaper option was to pump it yourself.
“Pull into self-service,” my Uncle Eddie was notoriously cheap. When my Aunt pulled in, he pulled her bikini top on one nipple without any concern for who might be looking. “When it turns blue, is that a bad thing, Patrick?” he joked.
Juggs eyes widened, and she looked genuinely scared, but when she looked down her nipples were still cherry red – and much more swollen.
“Meanie Butt,” she stuck her tongue out at Eddie playfully.
“Hey, Patrick came up with this clever idea. Blame him,” Eddie said.
“I blame you, because you encourage him,” she kissed him on the lips, flipped her bikini top back down to cover her aerola, and then stepped out of the car to pump the gas.