SixPathsKeyblader wrote: Sun Dec 28, 2025 7:25 pm
Good start. If I could just make one suggestion for future chapters. In the last story "Heather Plays Hockey", all throughout the story, I thought there would have been a moment of tension or danger here and there due to the "controversial" acts of the coach and the hockey team. However, nothing ever came of it. No parents or faculty members questioning the coach. None of the pictures from the "How to Play Hockey" book ever leaked. None of the kids ever let anything slip that they weren't supposed to. Etc... While I enjoyed the story, I felt like there was some wasted potential due to no tension arising in situations where tension would be very realistic or even expected. I'm not saying that the story has to be a tragedy or have a bad ending or anything like that. However, it just becomes a bit anticlimactic when the whole story is just Heather and friends doing things that they are not supposed to be doing (at least by conventional views and standards) and getting away with it without any trouble or conflict ever arising.
I am just hoping that for this story, there is some conflict or controversy at some point. Maybe Heather gets caught by the wrong person in her exhibitionist activities one day, and this results in some trouble either for Heather, or for others who are indulging these things with her (like the roofing guys in this recent chapter). Perhaps then, Heather will have to fight to get herself or someone else out of trouble (this plotline would have worked really well with the coach in the hockey story, and I had honestly thought it was heading in that direction earlier on in that story). Perhaps Heather could even rally some public support or generate some public discourse about concepts such as modesty and bodily autonomy.
Do you get what I mean? I just hope to see a proper conflict and subsequent resolution to this story, rather than just "Heather does something naughty, tee hee, she gets away with it for years and no issue ever comes from it, the end". Do you see what I'm saying?
Of course it is your story, so you can do what you want, and I will continue to read it, but this is just an earnest suggestion of mine, that I hope you will view as constructive feedback.
Contrastingly, I'd argue that's what gives it a unique style- almost every story has some kind of realistic 'getting caught ' - I'd argue heather plays hockey is an example of the one universe out of millions, where everything actually does go to plan.
I appreciate that insight. I write for myself mostly, but I also want readers to enjoy it. I would be interested to know if more people want realism or if they like it where everything works out.
The last sentence of the first chapter is: The Fun Was Over.
It won't be for long. I can imagine so many ways a girl like her might "Accidentally" show some skin during junior high.
I've written "Exhibitionist" characters, but I've added consequences when the character goes too far, takes one too many risks.
Can Heather experience some setbacks, while having the strong will to prevail and continue to push boundaries?
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I remember the Hockey Team story, and I liked it a lot. I did think the coach got a little too friendly with the girl when alone with her.
There was a movie, starring Rock Hudson, where he plays a football coach and guidance counselor. This school counselor, who is in his
forties, locks the door to his office and the high school girls get undressed and do naughty things with him. This movie came out in 1971.
"Pretty Maids All in a Row" is name of the movie.
I can't imagine it being made today.
Last edited by TeenFan on Tue Dec 30, 2025 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I enjoyed Heather playing hockey tremendously. This one has started out very good. While it isn't necessarily unwanted, some authors have them getting caught and the repercussions go "too far" for my liking.
I DO want to say that I appreciate all the authors here and their contributions. It is scary and courageous to put yourself out there. I think if you write for yourself, it will be a better story. So as "they" say, You do you!
3) Eleven Years Old - Sprinkler
Heather often thought about the men on the roof next door long after they'd finished the job and moved on. She was proud of her own bravery and slowly getting to the point where she was completely naked in front of the men. She thought back to how embarrassed she'd been but also how that embarrassment made her feel a surge of lightning inside her. She sometimes stood in front of that window nude, but with nobody on the roof to see her it didn't give her the same thrill. She wanted to feel that again but the neighbor's roof wouldn't need replaced for 20 years.
Despite trying to catch that lightning again when she was alone in her room she never could, so she lived off of the memory of her week with the roofers. It was summer again and a whole year had gone by since then and her memories weren't quite as vivid anymore.
Heather's parents were going to an wedding out of town which happened to be out by where her dad's brother lived with his wife and kids. Heather always liked her uncle but they didn't see him or her cousins often. The wedding meant she'd get to stay with them overnight. When they dropped her off, her dad and uncle talked. She'd later find out her aunt and uncle were getting divorced and her aunt was already living with her new boyfriend. It had been something her uncle hadn't wanted to reveal over the phone. It would be just her, her Uncle Tony, and her 5 year old cousin Justin and her 7 year old cousin Billy. She said her goodbyes to her parents.
Shortly after her parents were gone, Uncle Tony fixed them hotdogs and chips for lunch. It was a hot summer day. The boys started begging to be allowed to put their swim trunks on and play in the backyard in the sprinkler. Uncle Tony finally said yes. He then said "you don't have a bathing suit do you Heather? That's ok, you can stay in the air conditioning and watch anything you want on the big TV in the livingroom.". She said "thanks Uncle Tony." She then had a mischievous little idea inspired by her fun with the roofers. She said "but actually I'd love to play in the sprinkler with the boys. I remember when I was little, like maybe 4 years old, mom and dad let me swim in my underpants one time. Could I just do that?" He looked unsure how to handle the situation. Uncle Tony said "Heather, your 11 now. That might be too old for that." Heather siezed on his uncertainty and said "boys! Do you want me to come in the sprinkler with you? Do you care if I only wear my undies?" The boys immediately clapped saying "yes! Play with us. We don't care"
Heather looked at Uncle Tony. He debated internally another moment then said "fine fine....go play". The boys and Heather cheered. Uncle Tony set up the sprinkler while the boys changed into swim trunks. Heather went in the bathroom and took everything off but a pair of white cotton panties with the Barbie logo on the front and the Barbie Dream Car on the back. The boys beat her outside and were already in the water. Heather had a towel wrapped around her under her arms. She felt the same excitement as she had right before she flashed the roofers as her uncle sat in a lawn chair observing everything. Heather dropped the towel, pretending it was no big deal even though she was on a roller-coaster internally.
Tony watched the three kids running through the sprinkler, laughing, playing tag, and having fun. He couldn't help but notice that there was no difference in the top halves of the three kids even though seeing Heather with no top somehow felt spicier. The bottom half was a different story. The boys' trunks were made for water and were no big deal. Heather's thin panties got soaked and were clinging to her butt and other anatomy. Her cousins didn't notice or care from what Tony could tell. He felt a little bad looking at the shape of his niece's intimate parts but he also couldn't look away.
Heather and the boys ran through the spinkler playing tag or sang and danced under the falling water like they were singing in the rain. It went on for over an hour. Heather's panties were essentially translucent now to the point it was like she was in the backyard naked. She was having fun with her cousins, and the fact they didn't care how visible she was calmed her. She'd occasionally see if her uncle was looking, and he always was. That gave her the thrill she was looking for and of course she wanted to push it further.
As the sun started to get lower in the sky, the breeze picked up and all three kids started to get cold. Tony turned off the water and said "ok boys. Get inside and take a quick shower to warm up. Then put pajamas on. Heather, you can get in there after them." He handed her a towel. She said "thanks Uncle Tony." She helped him wrap the hose up. By the time they went inside, the boys had discarded their trunks next to the door, and wet footprints led towards the bathroom. Heather knew how to capitalize on the situation and quickly dropped her panties. Tony said "oh Heather you don't have to..." but it was too late. She was completely naked now and already walking into the livingroom.
Tony followed and sat watching his 11 year old niece sit on the couch fully nude. Her little vulva was so puffy and smooth. He couldn't stop looking. Heather channel surfed pretending not to notice her uncle. Inside she was doing cartwheels with how happy she was to be showing off her 'private parts' to Uncle Tony. She felt that magic lightning again. It wasn't long until the boys came running back in the room with pjs on. Tony said "ok Heather. Go hop in the shower and get your pjs on too". She said "fine". She slowly waltzed off still completely bare. Tony was almost certain she was annoyed to have to get dressed, which surprised him.
They had a nice evening together watching a movie and eating popcorn. After the movie Tony made sure all the children had brushed their teeth and gotten into bed. He made sure Heather was fine in the guest room before turning out the lights. He couldn't stop picturing his niece naked and how adorable her little pussy was. Not having a daughter meant this was his first experience with pre-pubescent female genitalia, and he was glad Heather had come to stay.
The next day Heather's parents showed up early in the morning to pick her up. Her mom had drank a bit too much at the wedding and was sleeping in the car when her dad got to Tony's house. Tony had been debating what to do about Heather running around seemingly not wanting to wear clothes. Tony said "got time for a cup of coffee Jeff?" Heather's dad looked at his wife passed out in the car and said "sure. Why not?". The two brothers sat down at the table. Tony said "the kids are all still asleep". Jeff said "hopefully I can just carry Heather out and she can sleep on the drive home like her mom. I wouldn't mind a quiet drive as opposed to the Taylor Swift concert I had to listen to on the drive here yesterday". The brothers chuckled.
Tony had considered keeping what happened to himself, but he decided that if it came out later that would be suspicious. He'd done nothing wrong or inappropriate. He said "does Heather ever....I don't know....walk around with no clothes on at home?" Jeff said "of course not. We have always taught her to be modest and lady-like". Tony explained the details of the previous day. Jeff said "I don't think I've seen her bare like that since she was three of four and could bathe and dress herself. I'm shocked. Her mom would be appalled. Maybe I will keep this between us and talk with Heather when her mom isn't around." Tony said "however you think its best. I just thought you should know". They finished their coffee then Jeff carried his sleeping daughter to the car. She barely stirred. The entire drive he kept thinking about Heather and trying to picture what she'd done and why she'd do it.
Outstanding, but I can't help but feel there was a bit left on the table here. Some Saggy panties or a wedgie running through the sprinkler or a suggestive pajama set.
Several weeks go by. Jeff thought about it often but there was never a good time to talk about it. Then Heather's mom had a girl's night planned with her friends. Heather and her dad decided to make pancakes for breakfast since her mom was always against eating foods at the 'wrong time' of day. He decided it was the right time to talk about this. He said "Heather, Uncle Tony told me about the sleepover a few weeks ago. He said you only wore underpants in the sprinkler and that you walked around his house wearing nothing for a while. You know that isn't appropriate. You need to be modest not just here at home but everywhere". He was expecting an apology and to move on with a promise she wouldn't do it again. Instead she said "why? What if I like it? What if I like.....being free?" Jeff was at a loss for word to the point that a batch of six pancakes hit badly burned on one side. He said "it could be unsafe. Its unlady like. Its just not acceptable in society Heather". She said "I like it. I guess I will just have to do it in my room or around people that won't tattle on me". He said "your room is fine. The bathroom is fine. You can't do it around other people. That's the most dangerous." She said "doing it alone is boring dad. Its more exciting when other people see me." He dad said "and do you want to see other people like that?" Heather said "no" matter-of-factly. She said "don't worry. You'll never hear about me doing it again". He realized he had made the situation much much worse by accident.
They sat and were eating. Heather had moved on to another topic, and understood perfectly that she needed a situation more like the roofers than Uncle Tony. Jeff was now internally panicking that his daughter was going to get herself into bad situations and he'd never know or be able to stop her, not really. He felt left with only one option to fix it. He suddenly blurted "will you not do it in front of strangers if you can do it at home?" Heather smiled. She said "I can promise I won't. Can I really do it at home?" Her dad said "we....we can't let mom find out. There is no way she'd be ok with it. But....if its just us....and you feel you have to". Jeff was not thinking logically now he was managing the situation based solely on vibes. This is certainly not in any book about recommended practices in parenting.
Heather held her hand out and said "deal" like it had been a negotiation. Jeff slowly extended a hand not knowing what this arrangement would actually mean. She got up and went to the kitchen to get more pancakes. When she returned she had the pancakes but had taken off all of her clothes. Her dad was not expecting this to go down so soon and ended up spitting coffee out across his plate. He stared at his naked daughter. He tried to play it of casually but he couldn't stop himself from looking at her hairless puffy pussy. He reminded himself he'd seen it when he changed her diaper when she was a baby but she was bigger now. It looked so soft.
This was the exact attention Heather craved. She could follow her father's eyes and knew what he was looking at. She felt all tingly and wonderful like she'd felt at Uncle Tony's. She finally sat down and ate. She said "see? No big deal dad" even though she felt the lightning of embarrassment of her own father seeing her special girl parts.
After dinner Heather watched TV with her dad. They each tried to pretend the show was the most interesting thing. In reality they were each only thinking about each other. Heather sat indian-style on the couch across from her dad's recliner. She knew it was one of the least lady-like ways to sit and that it fully exposed her private parts. Her dad kept looking from the TV to Heather. Sitting like that opened her hairless clamshell slightly and her slit was the prettiest shade of pink that only blooms in youth.
Eventually Heather had to get dressed before her mom got home. They were both disappointed her mom wasn't gone more often. Usually she'd only be gone 20 or 30 minutes for an errand and not enough time for Heather to go bare. If Heather knew her mom would likely be gone for an hour she'd sometimes strip and streak through the house for five minutes before getting re-dressed. She knew the most important thing was to not get caught by her mother so she did not gamble with cutting it close. Each time Jeff got to see his daughter prance past naked, he got more and more comfortable with the idea. Heather sensed this along with his enjoyment of the situation and it caused her to want to escalate to keep the tingling and lightning going.
One weekend Heather's mom had plans that would keep her away from home for most of the day. Both Jeff and Heather played it cool when she told them, but they each knew this meant playtime. Jeff had practically dreaming about his daughter's pussy every night and he was excited to see it again for more than just a moment. Heather had other plans that had her equally excited. They waved to her mom as she backed out the driveway.
As soon as the taillights dissappeared down the road Heather said "I don't want to take off my clothes and sit around the house". Jeff was privately heartbroken but said "you never HAVE to do that Heather. Its completely your decision". That's when she said "I'd rather you take me into the bathroom, have YOU take my clothes off and have you give me a bath. Would that be OK dad?" Jeff was practically beside himself. He said "I...uh....I don't know". Heather said "you gave me baths when I was a baby right? This is basically that". They both knew it wasn't, but he felt it gave him some moral cover. He said "ok. Yeah....ok".
So with that Jeff led Heather to the bathroom and started running warm water into the tub. Then he slowly took of Heather's clothes. He stopped before pulling down her mint green panties, maybe due to lingering guilt. Heather said "dad....it can't be wrong if I ASKED you to do it". He nodded and pulled her panties down. He admired his naked prepubescent daughter before helping her into the tub. He began by washing her hair. She liked how he massaged her scalp. Then it came time for the rest. Heather handed him a white Dove bar from the tiny shelf and said "wash me with this please dad". He took the soap and got his hand sudsy. Then he rubbed her bare back. Heather giggled. It tickled but she loved it. Her positive reaction gave Jeff the approval he thought he needed to move to her chest. He washed her from her shoulders to her tummy. He felt her nipples and where her breasts would eventually be. He was a little disappointed because it felt exactly like his own chest had felt at 11 years old. Even her nipples didn't do anything in response to his touch. Even so, it was a bit exciting to him to be touching her in a place society would disapprove of. Heather leaned back and pushed her chest out to make it easier for her dad. She didn't feel any particular way about her chest but she enjoyed the touch of his big rough hand.
Even if he wouldn't admit it to himself, Jeff was having a lot of fun bathing Heather. They both felt this secret brought them closer together and was a very nontraditional bonding experience. Heather's heart practically skipped a beat as the next phase of her bath was about to start. It was what she'd been both looking forward to and dreading. Jeff said "well Heather, we should probably wash your bottom half too. Stand up for me". She stood up dripping and facing her dad. She'd been daydreaming about getting touched, but it had always been the roofers in her imagination. Now her dad was going to touch her girl parts and she felt embarrassed but it caused the lighting to zap through her too. Jeff set himself a boundary that he wouldn't touch her slit, and he'd only wash the rest of her. With a sudsy hand he reached out and put his hand on Heather's mound. They both felt a seismic shift. Jeff couldn't believe how soft and smooth Heather's labia was. It was also pudgy and fun to squish in a way he'd never experienced with women he'd been with. Heather put her hands on her dad's shoulders, slightly for balance but mostly because feeling her vulva getting rubbed made her legs feel weak. No pussy has ever been so clean as after Heather's dad 'washed' it for almost five minutes. He turned her by her hips so her butt was facing him. He felt her cute little bottom as he soaped it up. Unexpectedly, he slid his hand up and down her crack, stopping to touch her little puckered butthole. Heather inhaled sharply at the embarrassment and sensation of having her 'dirty' hole touched by her dad. She breathed faster and her face felt suddenly hot. She had hoped bathtime would be embarrassing and invasive and her dad had perfectly executed it. He finished by washing her legs and having her sit down to rinse.
When he helped her out of the bath and wrapped her in a towel he said "how'd I do". She said "you did perfect, Dad." He said "good. This is our secret right? We can't tell anyone else". She said "our secret.....well....you could probably tell Uncle Tony. He wouldn't get upset." Jeff said "no, I suppose he wouldn't". Then he gave her a pat on the bottom as he helped her out and said "go put pajamas on".
