Young, Dumb and Full of Cum (Short Story) AKA Tuna Sub and Chicken Breasts

[EddieDavidson]

This is a short story that I was doodling with. I wanted to portray a family where the women are very horny to the point that the rest of the family takes pity on hwo wet/drippy they get and they make accomodations for them.

I've had this name "Tuna Sub" as a character in my list for a long time. If you revrse it "Bust a nut"
The subtitle is "Tuna Sub" and "Chicken Breasts" her younger sister who stuffed her bra once with chicken breasts and the nickname stuck.

I wanted to do a very loving family but one that put the FUN in Dysfunction. I planned to just make this a three or four chapter story. I've been wrong about that before. The first two chapters could actually be a story imho.

[EddieDavidson]

“Hi mom,” My twin sister Chrissy skipped through the front door in her usual silly, quirky way. “Heya, Chicken Bear,” Our mom was home and eager to greet her at the door with a big hug and a kiss like she did almost every day.

“Home first as usual. I take it that your brothers and sister are not far behind. Chicken?” Our mom asked with a warm, welcoming smile.

“I love that you are always here to greet us the moment we walk through the door! BJ!” Chrissy replied sweetly as she held our mom tightly. “I love you, BJ!”

We called her BJ or Brenda, because everybody else did and our mom had us when she was very young, so she didn’t look like a typical mom.

“I love you with all of my heart, Chrissy! Thank you for saying that, sweeties. You made my frown turn upside down! Where are the others?” My mom kissed Chrissy on the lips and squeezed her with a bear hug to remind her to answer the question. “I have a hot date tonight, and I have to start getting ready.”

“Hot date? Ooh, did grandma set you up with a guy? Or was it one of the ones we picked you for you?”

“Your grandma picked this one, Chrissy. I haven’t even read his online profile. I loved to be surprised. He’ll probably take one look at these droopy fun bags and see how desperate and horny I am all the time and think I am too much to handle like all the others,” Mom said as she revealed her white robe was open and her huge tits were hanging out.

We lived with our grandparents, and they’ve been trying to set my mom up with a “Good guy” for years. Most of the time, it doesn’t get very far but not because my mom isn’t hot. She’s incredibly sexy, and sometimes guys think she is scamming them because she’s too good looking for them.

“I have the same problem, I can’t keep a guy at school,” Chrissy said as she indicated her small breasts. “I’d kill to have tits like yours mom. I just get way too horny and needy, and guys think I am good to take for a ride, but not much else.”

“That’s not true, sweetie. You have cute little tits, and some guys love those,” she pinched Chrissy’s stiff nipple through the bra material under her shirt. You and your sister Tuna are both the same when it comes to guys. You are both in love with love. You get what you wanted from a guy, and then the newness wears off, and you don’t want them anymore!”

“Oh, don’t do that, my nipples have been driving me fucking crackers today!” Chrissy didn’t protest very much about the touch. The pair continued holding one another in a long, loving embrace. BJ squeezed her daughter’s nipples a little harder. It wasn’t cruel, she knew that it stimulated Chrissy and she always gave her daughters a little pinch like this during a hug.

“Is that anything new? Your nipples are always hard, just like mine,” BJ let go of Chicken and tugged her own nipple with a pinch to demonstrate how stiff it was.

“It’s just lately the bra has been really chafing me. All I could think about today was getting home and playing with myself!”

“Is that anything new, Chicken?” BJ smirked knowingly.

“Not really, but it was SO intense today. I couldn’t concentrate at all. I nearly dragged an old fuck buddy into the bathroom and had my way with him. I think it’s the way the bra chafes my nipples. It’s like a patient lover, cruelly teasing me but not letting me cum.”

“Mmm, that sounds delightful,” BJ mused as she rubbed both of her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers.

“Not when you get close to just exploding and then someone grinds a pencil in the pencil sharpener, or a professor asks you a question and it jars you back to reality, ruining your orgasm before it ever happens!” Chrissy frowned. “I’ll never graduate from school at this rate.”

"Oh honey, I could play with these dangly little pencil erasers all day long," Mom flicked her stiff nipples up and down with her fingers and made "pew, pew" sounds with her mouth while flicking her extremely long tongue at the same time. "You don't have enough boobies to need a bra, so don't wear it if it hurts."

Chrissy giggled when my mom acted silly and jiggled her nipples. My mom giggled too. They both got each other in a way that I never would get either of them. My mom was the apple tree, and Chrissy was the closest apple from the bimbo branch.

“It’s part of the dress code, and I already had to give up panties. Everyone will stare at my fat pencil erasers poking through my shirt,” Chicken pouted.

“We had to stop wearing panties because none of us could stop soaking them and your Maw-Maw decided it would be best if we just went commando under our skirt. It wasn’t meant to take anything away from you, Chicken.”

My mother was just as shocked as my sisters were when our grandparents decided that they would put a ban on wearing panties.

“You can’t help it that your pussy gets wet and your nipples get hard any more than I can. It’s just how mother nature made the three of us,” my mom added empathetically.

We didn’t know it at the time, because they had never been diagnosed medically. Our family just treated it like the way some girls were wired, and had a laugh about the idea that their pussies were like runny noses that never stopped running.

It wasn’t just that my sisters and BJ had a genetic form of genital arousal disorder. It wasn’t just nature. My mom was very promiscuous, and she passed on her open attitude about the body and sexuality to the girls.

The three of them were always horny and they dealt with it in different ways but it was normal to them because the feeling of wanting sex was all that they had ever known.

“It isn’t fair, You never wore panties before Grandpa and Grandma decided we shouldn’t wear them at all, anyway,” Chicken said as she touched her own nipples subconsciously through the material of her shirt.

“I hate to break the news to you, sweet Chicken but the world doesn’t operate on fairness. That being said, the rule is the same for all of us girls. I don’t make you do anything I wouldn’t do. Most mothers wouldn’t practice what they preach, and I did have some sexy thongs and G-strings that I looked hot in. You don’t have any panties on do you? I am supposed to check,” BJ frowned. She was our mother figure but she didn’t actually like to be the disciplinarian or hard-ass. She left that to our grandparents.

“Ugh, I don’t know why Maw-Maw and Grandpa don’t trust us,” Chrissy lifted her tight little plaid mini-skirt up to reveal her fuzzy bare pussy.

“I don’t mind it, and neither should you. They love us enough to care about us and set rules. It can be a little embarrassing at times as an adult to be told to lift your skirt but its for the best. They don’t make us stand there like fuck dolls and hold our skirts up. It’s just a quick flash at the door when we come in or go out, Chicken.”

“You are right, BJ. My older sister and brothers will be home from school shortly. We just got off the school bus.” My brother Kevin and I had taken our time coming home from school because we had invited a friend from school over, and we were explaining that our family dynamic is a little different than most.

“I wanted to be here to greet them, Did Tuna wander off with her boyfriend?” My mom smiled knowingly. Our sister Tuna was notoriously slutty and not particularly discerning about who she chose as a fuck buddy.

“I don’t know, Mommy. I was so wound up from the bra that I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I love it when you call me Mommy! You are in such a hurry to grow up. You stopped shaving your cute little pussy and wearing your hair in pig tails. You used to look so cute when you did that, Chicken.”

Chicken frowned. She wanted to please our mom, and their relationship was sort of like Chicken was the Teacher’s Pet to BJ as the teacher. Chrissy was always seeking our mom’s approval and trying to please her.

“I would go back to that, but I am too old. Everyone will think I am a little girl!”

“It could be worse, people think I am much older than I am, and I would love to trade places with you. I have a big fat, sopping wet worn out pussy, I’d love to have one as tight as yours! You should be proud of it, Chrissy. You have a pretty little pussy. I want you to shave it for me, Chicken.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Chrissy smiled submissively but frowned at the end.

“What? I didn’t say you had to wear your hair in pig tails, although I wish you would, Chicken,” My mom assumed that was the reason Chrissy looked bothered.

“it’s not that, Mommy! I’ll do my hair the way you like when I get upstairs and change. I am never gonna live that Chicken nickname down, am I?" Chrissy cheerfully wrapped her arms around our mom. The two of them were so much alike because they were vibrant and loving almost all the time.

My sister could even make it sound like she was completely innocent even though she got caught stuffing her bra with chicken breasts to pretend to be something she wasn't to get that nickname. "I wish I had great big jiggly knockers like you and Tuna!" she playfully wiggled her nearly flat chest back and forth with a goofy expression.

“It could be worse. Everyone could know you as BJ!”

“You LOVE sucking dick, Mommy!”

It might seem strange, but my mom had never made any secret that sex was fun to her, and she taught us not to feel guilty about something that was pleasurable.

In particular, Mom made no secret of her oral fixation. She was always getting caught sucking on the tip of a pen without even realizing she was doing it, and she loved showing off that she had no gag reflex.

“That’s true, I love gobbling jizz and most men will put up with the fact I can’t cook, don’t clean, and I am needy and lazy if I can clean their clock like my life depended on it, but I used to get teased about it all the time.”

“You still do,” My grandma entered the room from behind her. She was matronly and fully dressed. “Where are the boys and Tina?”

Maw-Maw always called us boys even though we were in high school, and tended to refer to our mom as one of the girls when she talked about our sisters.

“Kevin, Tina and Brian should be here shortly, Maw-Maw,” Chicken subconsciously dipped her knee and offered a casual curtsy without realizing it.

“Good girl,” Maw-Maw approached the two of them. She wasn’t a strict disciplinarian. If anything, she was the one who made excuses for their behavior and encouraged it. “How many guys followed Tuna off the bus?” she half-joked.

“I really don’t know, Maw-Maw,” Chicken held out her hands to embrace our grandmother at the door.

My grandmother wasn’t stingy with hugs or kisses. She squeezed her granddaughter tightly. “We don’t tease you and call you Chicken Breasts to be mean, sweetie. If your own family can’t make fun of you when you do something silly like stuff your bra with a chicken cutlet, who can?”

“Yeah, it’s done out of love,” My mom chimed in and agreed wholeheartedly. “Taking away our panties wasn’t a punishment. We just ruined too many panties. It was for our own good, Chicken.”

“Did you check her, like I told you, BJ?” Maw-Maw held the hug for a few moments longer and looked over her shoulder at our mom.

“Yes, Mommy. No, panties but her bra is pinching her nipples and making her constantly horny at school,” My mom confessed, much to my sister’s chagrin.

“I heard you talking about it in the kitchen. The three of you sluts think about sex more than a teenage boy. I don’t see how that’s any reason to take your bras away. Why are your tits out, anyway? Were you playing with yourself in the living room again?”

My grandparents had a long-standing rule that the girls had to go to their room to play with themselves. We would never get to leave the bathroom if the girls were allowed to finger fuck themselves there, but my grandparents weren’t sticklers about it, and the girls got away with playing with themselves in the bathroom anytime they could.

Kevin and I did it too, but we shot our load in the toilet and got it done quickly. Once they start getting turned on, they just get wound up and want more.

“Yes, but just until the guys got home. I would have stopped when they got here, Mommy.” BJ assured her.

“You know I wouldn’t mind, but your daddy is in the garage, and the boys are bringing over a friend. Put your droopy tits away, and act like a mom,” Maw-Maw said.

“Yes, Mommy!” My mom straightened dutifully and tucked her tits back into her robe.

Maw-Maw sniffed my sister’s hair, neck and chest as if she were suddenly aware of some strange scent. “Did you go with any boys when you got off the bus?”

“No, Maw-Maw,” Chicken pouted defensively. She called BJ Mommy – never Maw-Maw.

“Then why do I smell jizz on your lips and chest?” Maw-Maw asked skeptically.

“I don’t know, Maw-Maw, but I promise that I didn’t fuck anyone today!”

“I am way past promises. Your grandfather and I do trust but verify, now,” My grandma seemed even more skeptical. “Chrissy Bernice, Do you count giving head as sex?”

“Yes, Maw-Maw! I didn’t have sex! I swear! I mean, I don’t have any other way to show you.”

Chrissy loved attention most of the time, but definitely not that KIND of attention. She was completely mortified and hated being accused of being a horny little monster.
Chrissy loved attention most of the time, but definitely not that KIND of attention. She was completely mortified and hated being accused of being a horny little monster.

I had grown up with Chrissy, Tina and BJ and we treated the girls’ horny preoccupation with sex as a funny thing that they really couldn’t help. My brother and I liked tits and ass as much as the next guy, but we were tame compared to the three of them.

It wasn’t that unusual for my mom to get caught with her tits out, or for the women to talk to this openly about sexual desires around the house at all.

“I know that I come across like a stickler, but I know you can’t control yourselves, Chicken. Your grandpa and I just want you girls to be honest. We used to forbid your mom from having sex, and she just got better at hiding it. It’s like forbidding a snake from slithering. You can’t help it, you were just made that way.”

“I know you have our best interest at heart, and it’s your house, your rules, Maw-Maw!” Chrissy pouted again but not because she had been falsely accused. She knew she was helpless to stop her body from betraying her sexual desires. She was dripping wet; her nipples had only stiffened even more when she was accused of being a slut. It kind of excited her to be in trouble, and at the same terrified her. “I came here straight from the bus stop!”

“Someone came, alright,” my grandma dabbed the sweat from Chicken’s bare tummy, since she was wearing a midriff blouse and then brought her fingers to her lips to taste it. She couldn’t tell if it was salty girl sweat, or boy semen but she still had her doubts.

It was hard to describe my sister because she wasn't exactly like our mom. She had a baby face and chubby chipmunk cheeks, with the same spectacular blue eyes that Tuna and my mom had. Chrissy’s body quivered and she came close to having an orgasm on the spot, but something about the bra prevented her from going fully weak in the knees and creaming.

Chrissy’s lips parted with desire slightly, as a little spit gathered on the side of her lips. My sister wasn’t a complete air head, because she did well in college classes. She was just naturally kind of bubbly and effervescent and she became obviously glassy-eyed as if she were in a trance when she was deeply aroused.

“You are so much like Brenda, it’s a wonder that I am not already a great-great grandma,” our grandmother joked that she was just as easy as my mother was to get in bed.

“I am on the pill, Maw-Maw!” Chrissy assured her.

“So was your mom,” Grandma frowned at my mother. Mom confirmed that to be true simply by looking down at her bare feet and blushed.

“I wish I had tits that jiggle like her and Tuna do,” Chicken changed the subject by admitting that she’d love to have their enormous jiggly tits instead of her little boobs. The bra was driving her into an impatient frenzy and her brain couldn’t focus on anything except receiving the hypnotic pleasure signals running overtime from her brain to all the pleasure centers in her body.

“Big Tits or Itty-Bitty-titties, you still stink like a whore’s wet cunny and skunk's butthole, combined!" My grandma flashed a disgusted look and kissed her granddaughter on the head. “I can tell freshly fucked hair when I see it, your mom used to hand me the same old innocent excuses." Grandma sniffed my sister's little tits one more time and inhaled to see if she could detect the salty smell of jizz after some guy finished on her.

I know it probably sounds cynical, but Chrissy notoriously loved giving head, and my grandma was genuinely surprised that she only inhaled the smell of my sister's wet pussy and sweaty little tits in her restrictive bra.

“I came straight here,” Chrissy admitted again.

“Just because Maw-Maw doesn’t smell any jizz but that doesn’t mean you didn’t swallow it all.” She laughed and ignored the chance to bring up the double entendre about cumming straight home, again.

“Mom!!” My sister blushed.

“What?” Mom admitted that she was just as guilty as she was. “I am a bigger horn dog than you, and I know all the tricks you and your sister are going to pull long before you pull them, because I used to do them too!”

“No, because we are doing things differently than we did with you and your sisters,” Grandma interjected. “I am not going to punish either of you as long as you are honest with me.”

“So, if I told you that I invited three black guys over and fucked their brains out, I wouldn’t be in trouble, Mommy?” My mom half-joked.

“Don’t try to butter me up by calling me, Mommy. That’s different. You invited people to our house without getting permission,” My grandma became serious.

“So, can I invite over three friends, Mommy?” My mom sounded a little silly calling our grandma mommy, but she had been doing it for so long that it seemed natural, just like it did when we Chrissy or Tuna addressed our mom the same way.

“No, and you have a date with a white guy tonight, so don’t bring up how much you like black cock, okay? This isn’t about you, right now, Brenda James. I asked your daughter a question. Do you want to be standing in the corner when your sons’ bring their friends over?”

My mother raised her fingers to her lips, and pantomimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key after locking them shut.

“One more time, did you spit, swallow? Take it up the ass? Why do I smell boy jizz on you, Chicken Breasts?” my grandma asked our sister seriously. She softened and promised “You can tell me anything. I am not going to be pissed that you got fucked. We tried that with your mom and her sisters and now that we are grandparents much, much earlier than we should have been, we have learned a few things about girls.”

“Yeah, like what, Mom? I am still trying to figure myself out,” My mom laughed.

“Like, we have to just accept that starting with Eve in the Garden of Eden, forbidding things doesn’t end well. Consequences are needed, but you girls are going to be naughty. I am not trying to make you both into a goody-two-shoes.”

[EddieDavidson]

My mom was about to point out that she felt a little embarrassed and powerless that as a grown woman she couldn’t invite someone over to their house without asking first. She had been living there off and on since she was little and felt it was her home.

"Trust me, I wish I got some dick! I came straight home from the bus," Chrissy sounded frustrated. She adjusted her bra and pinched her own nipple because she subconsciously hated it and got pleasure from it at the same time.

I didn't know what had happened at the time, but it's safe to say that the restrictive bra had chafed her nips all day long while she thought naughty thoughts and couldn't act on any of them. Those horny dopamine-laced pleasure signals sent subconscious demands to Chrissy's brain that she was getting ready to have sex and she needed to get wetter and ready.

I think on some level Chrissy probably knew it had intensified her normal constant state of arousal, but right now all she wanted to do was go to her room, close the door and make love to herself with her toys and fingers.

Chrissy found most guys her age to be boring lovers with limited skills because they were way too inexperienced, and she had no desire to teach them how to drive her wild.

“Fine, I want you to strip down out of those clothes, Chicken. I want you to put them in the DIRTY clothes and do not wear them again. Then I want you to shower with hot soap and water, all over! Pussy, sweaty butthole, titties and all! Get all the cum out. Don't walk around your brothers’ friend with your cute little pussy dripping boy-goo like a melting ice cream cone."

Chrissy blushed, because she and Tuna Sub were notoriously wet. "I can’t help it. If I cream myself, it’s not because I like him. I don’t even like Noah! He likes me!”

“I know you can’t help how over-tuned your sugar shaker is, dear. It’s perfectly natural to get wet and enjoy sex. You don’t have to settle down and be monogamous at your age. You should enjoy being single. I still want you to have clean pee flaps and not smell like the set of a porn studio,” Grandma playfully smacked Chrissy on the butt to send her upstairs.

“Yes, grandma,” Chrissy dutifully bent at the knee and nodded demurely as she walked toward the step.

“Chicken, you don't have to curtsy and call me Grandma. You can call me Maw-Maw, Mommy, or even Irene the same way your mom does. The only thing wetter than my pussy when I was your age was the spot behind my ears. I was young, dumb and full of cum and I paid the price of consequences for all the mistakes I made because I let my twat do my thinking for me. Your grandfather and I don’t have many rules for you girls. You don’t have to curtsy when you are talking to us. You do have to wash your pussy and ass thoroughly.”

“I didn’t even realize I did that,” Chrissy blushed when she realized she had naturally curtsied. She had a natural submissive streak and subconsciously curtsied her agreement whenever someone talked to her like an authority. We were the same age, and she even did it to me, sometimes.

“Don’t play with yourself in the shower, either. That’s another rule,” Maw-Maw reminded her playfully as Chrissy began to skip upstairs. “Wait in your room for your mom. I’ll come up, or she will to make sure you washed yourself.”

Chrissy had grown up being checked after her showers and even though it could feel a little degrading, it wasn’t shocking she still had to submit to an after-bath inspection. She had only recently started bristling about it, but Tuna Sub acted like it was a huge invasion of her privacy.

“You don’t have to check me. I’ll shave my pussy and everything! I am old enough to shower without being inspected,” she blushed as she turned around on the stairs to answer.

“The rule is the rule, and we’ve seen your sweaty butthole and cute little flappers enough that it’s not a big deal, Chrissy. It goes for all of you girls, and your granddad and I will decide when you don’t need a quick check to see if you are fully clean, to make sure you don’t have any ingrown hair, or pimples.”

“They just want to make sure you aren’t saving a delicious cream pie for later,” BJ broke her silence with a grin.

“Do you remember when we decided you were old enough to be trusted and you got that clit piercing without asking?” Maw-Maw laughed warmly as she reminisced with my mother about those old days.

“Yeah, but you guys would have never let me get my clit pierced.”

“You were still in high school, and trying to grow up faster than Tuna and Chicken, combined.”

“I was into a lot kinkier shit than they are at their age, Mom,” BJ admitted with a grin. She accepted that she was a horn dog, but she could still be a little embarrassed by it.

“For such an extrovert, I am surprised that you still blush when I check you after your shower, and I tug on whatever ring or stud you are wearing in your clit, Brenda!”

“It’s because you usually get me all hot and slippery, and tug on my piercing like you are trying to see if it’s going to fall out.”

“It doesn’t matter how I touch your clit, BJ. I could lightly run my fingers over it and you’ll get goosebumps and juicy.”

Chrissy had already skipped up to the shower, and was undressing in the bathroom. My sister loved to hear their banter and wanted to politely wait until they were finished but she couldn’t wait to get the bra off and play with herself.

She followed rules when she was being watched, but once she was in the bathroom and naked, she began to press down on her own clit and mash it while preparing for her shower.

It was at that point that Kevin and I opened the door. My grandparents seldom locked it when we were all home. I was surprised to see that my mom was fully clothed. I half-expected her to be naked and had warned Noah that we had a very open, non-repressed view of the body at our house.

Noah seemed a little disappointed as well. I think he was half-expecting a full-on orgy from how much Kevin had built up the way we lived, but in many ways we were like any normal family. Around here, Normal was kind of a dirty word.

We were different and we weren’t trying to pass as normal. The females of the house just liked sex a lot more than most and we treated it more like an amusing annoyance than a serious problem.

My mom was already off the couch, arms wide and approaching us for our customary welcome home hug and kiss. Kevin and I found it a little humiliating when we brought over friends and our faces must have reflected that.

“There is no point in denying your mom her fun, fellas.” My grandma grinned with delight as my mom captured me in a big mama bear hug. “Just let it happen. I hope you told your friend we hug and kiss in this family?”

My grandma said it as she hugged Noah warmly like he was a long lost relative that was back from a war. “Come here, give this old granny a hug!”

“Honestly, I thought you were their mom,” Noah admitted as he hugged her back.

“Flattery will get you everywhere in this house, young man!” she planted a natural kiss on his lips without making it feel sexual or weird. “Their mom had them young, and we Freeman ladies don’t wrinkle on our faces.”

My grandma’s joke was that they had wrinkles on their pussies, but if Noah got it, he didn’t let on.

“Yeah, Brian told me that you were like a saucy version of that horny lady from Golden Girls, but you don’t look anything like her.”

I blushed as my grandmother slowly released Noah from her arms and glared at me. “Brian Thomas Freeman! I look NOTHING like Blanche Devereaux!” she huffed.

“Yeah, she looks more like Morgan Fairchild,” Noah said affirmatively.

“Ooh, I like this one,” my grandma snickered. She had shorter blonde hair than the famous 1980s starlet, but I could picture the resemblance. She hugged Kevin tightly next while my mom continued to embrace me.

“Noah doesn’t mean Morgan Fairchild from Pee Wee Hermans Big Adventure days. He means like Morgan Fairchild now,” Kevin quipped.

“Just for that, I’ll take two kisses from you, young cutie!” My grandma doted on Kevin and I and it would take a lot of effort for us to offend her. She kissed my brother once on the lips and said that she’d happily take the comparison to Morgan Fairchild at any age while giving him another kiss on the lips.

My mom and grandma liked to give Eskimo by rubbing the tips of their noses to ours, or butterfly kisses by fluttering their long eyelashes like butterfly wings next to ours.

“Who do I look like, Noah?” My mom said after she stopped pressing her lips to mine. “I am BJ Freeman by the way,” she introduced herself adding that it was a pleasure to meet him.

“Heather Locklear?” he stood there awkwardly and now stared at her while she pressed me close to her chest and began to rub her nose against mine.

“You really know your eighties ladies, Noah!” My mom replied enthusiastically eating up the flattery. “I thought you were going to say that I looked like Rose from the Golden Girls because of my blonde hair and resemblance to my mom.”

“What do you do on Saturday nights, Noah? Jerk off to 1980s TV shows?” Kevin laughed as our grandma tickled him with the flutter of her eyelashes while continuing their tight, affectionate hug.

If my sister Chrissy was a teacher’s pet, then my brother was the class clown of the family. Noah didn’t get a chance to answer because I instinctively wiped off my mom’s wet kiss when she began to rub her nose to mine.

“Don’t you wipe off my kisses just because your super nice friend with the bad eyes is here, Brian James!” My mom could be very self-deprecating and even though she was gorgeous, she would the last one to ever admit it.

I assumed it was a self-defense mechanism that if she put herself down, no one else could put her down even worse, but my mom also just enjoyed laughing at herself.

“Sorry, BJ!” I apologized.

“You always call me Mommy when you are in trouble, I am quite offended, young man!” My mom stopped rubbing the tip of her nose to mine and feigned offense. “Now, you know what you get as a punishment don’t you?”

“No, Mommy,” I blushed more deeply because I sounded ridiculous calling her that. I wasn’t really concerned, my mom’s punishments for me and my brother were usually farcical or incredibly generous.

“You have to wear my wet kiss until your Maw-Maw licks it off,” BJ flicked her impossibly long tongue out like a snake and quickly licked all the way around my lips while I kept my eyes and mouth closed and drank in the humiliation.

“Ugh,” I said instinctively while keeping my eyes shut. BJ accidentally caught my tongue with hers when I opened my mouth, or like a dead-eye frog grabbing a fly from across the pond, she chose to give me a quick brush with it just to make me cringe.

“That serves you right, Bry-Bry! You used to love mommy’s kisses, now you act like it’s this big obligation at the door! Don’t you know I miss you all day?”

My mom meant it. She was loving and giggly. I tried to explain to Noah that she could seem like a sexpot and a bimbo but that my mother was a complex woman that didn’t easily fit into archetype.

“Damn, how long is your tongue, Mrs. Freeman?” Noah laughed with awe on his face before I could answer her.

“It’s MISS Freeman, as I am not wearing a ring, but I’d much rather you call me BJ or Mommy. Everyone else here does,” My mom said as she rested her arms on my shoulders and admired how glossy she had made my lips with her tongue, spit and a little smudge of her wet lipstick.

“Oh yeah, the guys told me it was different here, BJ,” Noah replied awkwardly.

“We put the FUN in dysFUNction,” My mom cracked one of her many jokes and fluttered her long tongue to show off for him quickly. “Did they warn you that we don’t believe in consent when it comes to hugs and kisses?”

“What? No,” Noah seemed confused.

“You never have to ask to kiss or hug anyone in the house,” My mom explained that it wasn’t that big of a deal. “We don’t deny hugs here, and they aren’t just for when you go away or come home.”

“Don’t get any ideas about kissing me, Noah,” I quipped playfully.

My mom goosed me playfully and said what was good for the goose is good for the gander. It was another of her many colorful jokes. I was embarrassed but I didn’t think Noah noticed BJ grabbing my crotch and giving it a quick squeeze. “You are starting to sound like Tuna Sub. Did you happen to see your dear older sister while you were out there?”

My mom rubbed her head back and forth in my face and gave me a quick butterfly kiss with her eyelashes while I explained that I hadn’t.

“Finally! My eldest grandson!” My grandma said as she embraced me immediately after my mom let me go. I opened my arms and held my grandma tight. “I thought you were going to motorboat Brian, too!”

My mom was notoriously hard to embarrass but it was possible. It was kind of sexy when she blushed, because she looked so vulnerable when her mouth popped open in shock.

She was already holding my brother in her arms. Her face went pale mid-kiss. “I used to breast feed them and taught them to motorboat me when they were done as a goof,” she explained.

Noah looked pleasantly surprised. I was worried that he’d freak out when he saw that we generally put everything out in the open in our house.

“Yeah, BJ used to make her tits bounce one at a time, and act like she was an ice cream machine!” Kevin laughed.

“Damn, you remember being breast fed?” Noah was shocked.

“BJ breast fed them until they were old enough to tell her they didn’t want it,” My grandma explained while my mom blushed. “BJ has VERY over-active nipples. It’s genetic, she and her sisters started producing milk back in high school, and her body just didn't know when to quit. There was no point in wasting it and it’s very healthy for you.”

Noah scrunched his nose in disgust, and my mom cringed a little.

“Yeah, do you want BJ to pump some for you at dinner, Noah?” I politely got my mom back for leaving my lips wet with her saliva.

“Damn, dude! If I talked to my mom that way, I’d be in so much trouble!” Noah was shocked by my joke. I forgot most people didn’t have that kind of relationship with their parents, because it was so natural to me.

“We don’t believe in punishing anyone for telling the truth, or teasing each other here, Noah,” My grandma explained with amusement as she noticed my mom looked red-faced. “We tease each other out of love, but our main rule is that if you dish it out, you have to be able to take it.”

Noah was still calibrating to our way of life, and my brother and I hadn’t gone into this much detail with him, so this was all probably a bit of a stretch.

I didn’t think much about how we spoke to my mom. She seldom took offense or got angry about it. We always talked down to my mom and sisters like they were children. We weren’t being cruel; the girls sort of earned it and the fact that they were so horny made it easy to laugh at them. It wasn’t that we were trying to change them into behaving more modestly. I don’t think any of us thought that tigers could change their stripes.

“Are you staying for dinner, Noah?” my grandma asked.

“Sure, if I can!” Noah said excitedly.

“I like you, Noah! You didn’t ask what we were having first,” My grandma joked back with a grin. “We don’t make a spectacle out of BJ expressing milk at the table, but she can usually fill about six shot glasses full. If you are curious, I am sure daddy will let you try one.”

“Mom!” My mom sounded exactly like Chrissy or Tuna when they said the same thing to her. The difference was she wasn’t blushing and wasn’t as concerned about maintaining her own dignity. “I am sure he doesn’t want to watch me pump myself and drink my milky squirtings. Please don’t put him on the spot.”

My grandma wasn’t a bitch or as domineering as it may seem. She was firm because if she wasn’t then mom and Tuna would walk all over her. She was the first to admit when she made mistakes, and this time she apologized to my mom and to Noah. Then her eyes fixed on Kevin and me “Did you warn Noah that your mom expresses at the dining room table?”

“No, doesn’t every mom do that?” Kevin sounded like a bit of a wise-ass, and that’s because he was.

My grandma gave Kevin a long, stern look and he stopped snickering and took this situation. “No. Most moms don’t but yours has leaky, overactive tits. In the future, if you ask me if you can have a friend over I am going to think twice if you don’t have a little chat about how things work here.”

“I am sorry, Maw-Maw!” Kevin apologized politely.

“Good boy,” My grandma patted him on the top of the head and asked Noah if he was sure if he wanted to stay. “I wouldn’t blame you if you said no. BJ likes to pump her tits, and she’d do it non-stop if we let her. We had to put a limit on it and the only time she can pump is during meals. If you stay, you don’t have to watch or even try her milk, but she is going to strip off in the kitchen. We can have her stand in the corner with her back to you if it bothers you.”

My mom seemed uncharacteristically humiliated because she cleared her throat and fidgeted with the belt of her robe as if she had decided to open the robe and reveal her tits right or not.

“Whichever makes Mrs. Freeman, I mean uh, err, BJ feel comfortable,” Noah rubbed the back of his neck and looked everywhere in the room except at my mother or grandmother. “I’ve never been in this situation before.”

“My daughter’s comfort comes after our guest’s comfort, that goes for all of us,” My grandma answered. “The only choice I am giving my daughter is whether she wants to be pumped tonight or not.”

“Mom! You know my tits will get so full that I’ll lose my mind if I can’t pump! Can’t I do it in another room one time while Noah is here?” My mom asked with a look of concern for her own dignity and a desire not to shock Noah.

“You didn't seem this concerned when I asked the Davidsons over for dinner last week. You dropped the robe and got on with it, BJ.”

“The Davidsons are used to seeing me drop my top, Mom!”

“Even if I wanted to make an exception, your pump is in the kitchen and your father expects you to produce at least six shot glasses of milk. Do you want me to tell Noah why we don’t allow you to milk yourself when you aren’t in the kitchen?”

“Well, now you have to!” Kevin snickered and explained for my mom and grandma “My mom gets carried away when she’s milking and starts grinding the table, rolling her eyes, moaning and groaning. If we aren’t there to sort of laugh at her, she’ll do more than leak milk!”

Kevin and I began to make over the top orgasm faces while my mom protested that we were exaggerating with a hearty laugh. My grandma even joined in on the good-natured teasing.

My older sister Tuna opened the door while we were heckling our mom, and groaning like giddy overly dramatic porn stars which was far more over the top than anything my mother had ever actually done at the table.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” she asked as she tried to figure out why we were acting so silly. Tuna’s eyebrows were knotted in confusion and dismay. Many people think that my sister is a goth because she sometimes wears a leather collar but she just likes to dress that way and give off the angry bitch vibe. She is far more nuanced than that.

I don't think my mom can turn off who she is and be the television stereotype of a classic Brady Bunch mom. She's more like if you took Kelly and Peg Bundy, rolled them up in Joy from My Name is Earl, painted her with a coat of Anna Nicole Smith so that all you saw was bleach blonde hair, big tits, and blue eyes and you'd only have the surface.

My twin sister is all of those things but add in a diligent teacher's pet. My older sister Tuna Sub has my mom's fantastic jugs, her big bubble butt, her pretty eyes, and she's constantly horny but she is more unpredictable and she likes to set the terms for sex. She doesn’t like to give in too easily, even if she’s totally ga-ga for some guy. He has to put in the effort.

"What the fuck is going on in here? A gang bang?" My sister repeated it abruptly.

“No, the guys were just teasing me about what I do when I am getting milked.”

“Fuck, the last thing that I need is this guy blabbing all over campus that we watch you work yourself up into a tizzy during meals,” she sneered at Noah.

If Chrissy was the teacher's pet and Kevin was the class clown, Tuna was the one in the back of the room that the teacher was slightly afraid to call on. Not because she was mean or stupid but because her answer was never going to be the one anybody expected and she knew it and so did everyone else.

If you remember Jeff Goldblum in the 1980's classic "The Fly", he was trying to teleport himself from one place to another when a fly entered the chamber just as his molecules started to scramble and created an entirely new hybrid with the best and worst qualities of both?

Imagine if Molly Ringwald's extroverted prissy bitchy character in the Breakfast Club was in the sequel to Weird Science. Gary and Wyatt are about to teleport her and suddenly Ally Sheedy's introverted emo girl with a heart of gold suddenly flies into the zapper and joins the two forever in some unholy hybrid of the two polar opposites.

Then Judd Nelson, as Bender from the Breakfast Club falls into the machine while smoking a carton of cigarettes on his birthday and getting high under the high school bleachers. He's devilishly handsome, dangerous, subversive, and enigmatic and he gets blended into Tuna's personality right along with everybody else.

Gary and Wyatt are trying to figure out how to unfuck the situation and split oil, water and vinegar back into their component parts because they should NEVER mix, when Wyatt's older brother Chet from Weird Science comes sauntering in.

Chet is the bully that's home from the reform school, that wants nothing more than to humiliate his brother and his nerdy best friend. Chet is gross, vulgar and a total pervert. He asks them if they want a nice, greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray.

Kelly LeBrock the Robo-slut from the first Weird Science magically appears and snaps her fingers. A portal opens and Chet is sucked into Molly, Ally and Judd Nelson to appear whenever you least expect it and somehow, they all become one slutty goth girl with pumpkin sized titties who is embarrassed that her pussy won't stop dripping and angry that it can't ever be fully satisfied.

There she stood in the doorway with what she wore to school. A short black miniskirt with fishnets, and high heels, and an off shoulder purple t-shirt that said "Any Man, Any Time, Any Where" in big bold Gothic letters inviting anyone to dare take her up on the offer.

Tuna hadn't worn a bra to school, so her heavy tits sagged over the tiny little gothic letters that contained the punch line "You wish!"

[EddieDavidson]

“Tuna Sub, where is your bra?” my grandmother stopped laughing and glared at my sister.

“I didn’t feel like wearing it today, Maw-Maw,” Tuna immediately became deferential to our Grandma because she knew that pushing her buttons and acting like a rebel wouldn’t get her anywhere.

“They let you walk around school with your tits hanging down like that, in THAT SHIRT? ANY MAN? ANY TIME? ANY WHERE?” she read out what it said on the shirt.

“Nobody cares at our campus, Maw-Maw. It’s just a shirt, it’s just a joke,” she held up the part in small print that asked “As if?”

“You were the loudest one at the table when your grandpa and I made the decision that you girls shouldn’t wear panties anymore because you come home soaked, or end up losing them. You said it made you feel degraded that you couldn’t wear panties and now look at this shirt and what you are advertising!”

“I didn’t say it made me feel degraded. I said it’s degrading that it’s only the three of us. Brian and Kevvy skid mark their underwear and probably have jizz stains all over the front of their tightie whities. You didn’t make them stop wearing undies.”

“How do you know that, Sis?” I asked sarcastically. “Were you sniffing our undies?”

“You are one to talk, Bri-Bri! You probably miss being able to jerk off in my panties.”

“I NEVER did that,” I blushed. My sister has accused us of ejaculating in her shoes and panties before, but I certainly haven’t done it and I didn’t think Kevin would do that.

“Well, someone did, and you and Kevin are the only ones with cocks in the house.”

“I’ve got a cock, are you counting that one, Tina Sue?”

My grandfather entered from the garage door at that exact moment. He was covered in engine grease and wearing his old denim overalls that he wore when he was working out in the garage.

“You wouldn’t jerk off in my shoes or panties, Grandpa. I just meant that they are the only ones who might.”

“Could be the spunk fairies that live in the attic coming down at night,” Kevin teased.

I piled on by adding “Yeah, they say if you put a used condom under your pillow that the Spunk Fairy will visit you and leave a huge load of semen in a busted Payless hi-top sneakers that are about ready to fall apart.”

“How would you know what kind of shoes I wear?” Tuna gasped as if I had just revealed my master plan on accident. I was about to remind her that she was wearing them when my grandfather held up his hands for us.

“Now, boys that’s unfair to Tuna Sub. I don’t want to hear you joking about her putting used condoms under her pillow at night,” he instructed firmly.

My brother and I immediately felt guilty for taking our joke a little too far and apologize to him.

“Why are you apologizing to me. You said it about your sister,” he said seriously. We were about to turn and apologize to her, when he added “Now say you are sorry! Tuna would never leave a used condom under her pillow. She’d doesn’t use condoms.”

The room erupted into hysterical laughter, after my grandfather’s deadpan joke at Tuna’s expense. She placed her hands on her hips, pursed her lips and glared at him silently but didn’t defend herself. Noah was the only other person that didn’t laugh.

“Now, who is this young man?” My grandfather walked across the carpet to shake his hand. “I’d shake your hand, but I am covered in grease.”

“You are getting it all over the carpet, Henry!” Maw-Maw complained.

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t think about that,” My Grandpa apologized to his wife. He wasn’t the absolute authority in the house. They decided together, and he wasn’t a constant authoritarian but they both had different ideas on how things should work.

My grandfather quickly retreated back to the mat in front of the garage door where he came in.

“Hi, I am Noah, I go to school with your grandkids,” he said.

“Are you the guy that my wife picked to go out with BJ tonight?” my grandfather looked at Maw-Maw with disappointment on his face.

“No, he’s just their friend.”

“Which one are you dating? Chicken Breasts, or Tuna Sub?” grandpa asked.

“Neither,” he shrugged.

“Why not? They are good girls. Take them off my hands,” he laughed at his own joke. “Seriously, though. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” he said.

“Married? Gay?” My grandpa asked.

“Nope, I am just here to hang out with Kevin and Brian. I barely know Tina and Chrissy.”

“In this house, you’ll address them as Tina Sue or Tuna Sub, and Chrissy can be Chicken, Chicken Breast, Chicken Bitch, whatever you want to say. Got it?”

“Sure,” Noah smiled.

My grandfather has never met a stranger. He’s gregarious when he wants to be, and I think my mom became an extrovert because of him.

“What are you doing this Friday night?” he asked Noah. I started to smile because my grandfather was on a roll with Noah.

“Nothing,” he shrugged.

“Then you have a date with one of my granddaughters. Do you have a car and fifty bucks to take them out to eat?” he asked.

“Oh, hah, yeah, but I don’t think they’d want to go out with me.”

“Why not? Does your cock work?”

“Yes,” Noah glanced at his shoes.

“If you’ve got a pulse, and a dick, that works for them. You seem like a cleancut guy, polite. Much better than the guys they normally pick.”

“Granddad, I don’t want a boyfriend,” Tina said.

“You don’t want a bra, either, obviously,” My grandfather’s eyes widened as he took in her droopy, sagging nipples in the shirt. “You need one, though.”

“If you don’t want a boyfriend. Who you were with just now that made you late getting home?” my grandma asked.

“Do I have to report every guy or girl I fuck around with now and get approval? I can get a date if I want one. I don’t need you to set me up the way you do with mom,” she seemed perturbed.

“Someone’s getting a bit big for her britches,” Grandma glowered.

“Noah, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to date any of the girls, but by the end of the night if you want to take one of them out, I promise ya they aren’t all spit and vinegar, son. You can even take my daughter out if things don’t go well with this other guy Irene chose for him tonight. What is his name, Irene?” he asked.

My mom’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Mark,” My grandma said but assured her husband that he seemed like a good guy.

“Yeah, We’ll see. I will reserve justice until there is a wedding ring attached and these brats move out of my house,” he said with a big smirk on his face. We’ve lived with them for most of my life and he always lovingly refers to us as brats and says he wants us out – but he doesn’t mean it. “Now, I am leaking oil like one of these sluts leak pussy grease all over the floor. I am going to go put on a fresh pair of UNDERWEAR. Is that okay, Queen Tuna?”

“I didn’t mean you can’t wear underwear, Grandpa! I meant that it’s not fair that my brothers don’t have the same restriction. It’s embarrassing!”

“Creamy undies were only part of the problem, Tuna. The real reason I decided we’d had enough of the bickering and drama was you girls constantly fight over who owns what pair of panties. You’ll argue over a little cummy rag that’s no bigger than some twine. You appreciate having panties now that they’re gone, don’t you?”

“Yes, Grandpa,” Tuna Sub sounded put upon to give him an answer to his question.

“Then you better start wearing a bra while you can or your grandma and I may make wearing those a privilege,” he said as he pivoted toward the downstairs master bedroom. “Now, stop all this drama and bitching and get yourselves washed up before supper,” he declared as he went into his room and shut the door.

“Are you and grandpa really going to start picking what guys for me to date?” Tuna asked the moment he walked into his room.

“You should try it, Tuna,” my mom smiled. “I never know what I am gonna get knocking on my door. I hate having to make a choice, so having it made for me makes things easier. I know maw-maw and daddy have my best interest at heart.”

“What if they pick a serial killer for you?” Tuna asked.

“We’d save that for you, dear,” My grandmother frowned dismissively before adding that a serial killer probably doesn’t want to be tracked online, and would more likely pick her up in the kind of places she goes to get laid.

“Well, no offense Noah, but I hope you pick my sister,” Tuna turned to Noah and addressed him without her usual sarcastic smirk. “You can even date my mom, but I don’t really like nice guys. I like a little edge.”

I knew my sister well enough to know that she rarely said what she meant and she probably hoped that Noah would pick her. She’d bitch and complain and probably have a good time.

“I wouldn’t want to go out with anyone that doesn’t want to go out with me,” Noah assured her. That response pleased my grandmother.

“I don’t think it’s fair of my husband to make you choose one of our granddaughters like that, Noah.”

“I am flattered, but they are both way out of my league.”

Kevin and I laughed a little about that, but Chrissy and Tina were both kind of hot in their own quirky way – too hot for Noah. He was ordinarily like me and my brother.

“If it’s okay with you. I’ll ask him if he minds if you take all three of them out on a date one at a time. Obviously, you can say no, and Brenda is a little older than you are probably used to but she’s a lot of fun. If things go well with this guy she’s seeing tonight then it would just be Chicken and Tuna.”

“That sounds like a meal,” Noah snickered before realizing that my grandmother was truly serious about the offer. My mom seemed shocked, but Tuna couldn’t believe our grandmother’s audacity.

“Your shirt says any man, any time, anywhere, does it not?” grandma reminded her.

“That’s a joke, Maw-Maw, and I mean like a real manly man.”

“Which is it then? ANY man, a joke, or specific men? Because the ones you have been seeing are disappointing. Who were you with today? Freddy?”

“Freddy? I haven’t dated him for weeks,” my sister scoffed. “It was just some fuck buddy to waste a little time before I got home.”

“You’ve been getting home later and later, and at some point your grandpa and I will have to address it. You may not want to use up all your grace time with fuck buddies,” my grandma wasn’t shocked or even annoyed. “Where is your bra?”

“I left it at school,” Tuna said.

“Obviously, you can go around school without one if you desire, but if you come home again without one then your grandfather and I will address it.”

“So, now I have to wear a bra all the time?” Tuna became argumentative, but one arched eyebrow from Irene and Tuna quickly backed down.

“Are you wearing panties?” My grandma asked next.

“Of course not, you said I couldn’t,” My older sister scoffed at the very notion of inferring she didn’t follow the rules.

“Do you mind showing us?” Irene lifted her finger up and down in front of Tuna’s skirt to suggest she raise it.

“Why can’t you just believe me? I’ll go out with Noah if you want me to, but I don’t have to let him look at my pussy.”

“I am not going to ask again, Tuna. You get checked at the door every day. That doesn’t change because we have a guest. It’s not like I am asking you to strip down and put your feet in the stirrups while they examine your clit. It’s a quick pull up, pull down.”

Tina fumed stubbornly, which could only mean that she WAS wearing a pair of panties, by my guess.

“Fine,” Tina pulled her skirt up superfast, and let it drop. “Happy? You got a shot of my beaver, Noah!”

She immediately proceeded to the stairs but one word from Grandma and she stopped in her tracks. “Tuna? Hand me the panties you are wearing.”

“Ugh, This is humiliating,” she blushed as she reached under her skirt and began to pull a silky black thong down from between her legs. “Look at my brothers laughing at me.”

“Yep,” Kevin grinned wickedly. I have to admit, I found it funny when my sister was taken down a peg or two.

“Do you want them to cry at the injustice of it all? You lied to me, and then you complain that you have to follow the same rule that your sister and mom haven’t complained about in over a week,” My grandma folded her arms and demanded the panties.

“Hey, those are MY old panties,” my mom’s eyes widened in recognition of the tiny sliver of black cloth that was now covered in Tuna’s pussy snot.

“What do you care, BJ? It’s not like you are going to ever get to wear panties again,” Tuna said as she handed the panties to her grandmother.

“Wait, never? What about on my date?” my mom seemed confused. She hadn’t thought too hard about it.

“You almost never wear panties, BJ. If you are suddenly concerned about modesty, then you can wear something a little more conservative tonight when he picks you up.”

“I don’t really have anything conservative,” My mom admitted that her wardrobe was largely slutty, slinky outfits. She scrunched nose in disgust at the idea of wearing something conservative. “Can I just wear those?”

“They have your daughter’s cream on them,” Irene let the black panties dangle as she held them in the tips of her fingers gingerly.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” My mom said. “I didn’t know this was a permanent rule,” she admitted.

“You don’t even like wearing panties,” I reminded my mom. I was surprised she was suddenly a little concerned.

“I like having the option,” my mom smiled at me.

“No, BJ likes being peeled out of sex lingerie. I do too,” My sister explained with a naughty snicker.

“Your daddy and I don't' want to have a rule book and be hard-asses. If you don’t think your father and I know what’s best for you much better than you do,., you can always get your shit together and move out.”

My grandparents have laid it out like that before many times and my mom stopped talking, placed one finger in her mouth and sucked on it while thinking.

“Is your pussy going to stop getting soaked?” Irene asked.

“Hopefully not for a long time,” BJ replied.

“You’ve already proven you guys argue about whose panties belong to who. You had enough drawers in your room to keep them separate.”

“We tried but we kept going into each other’s drawers and stealing them.”

“That’s the thing about me and Brian. His poop-striped skidmore undies are his own ass, and I don’t touch them,” Kevin made a joke at my expense.

“Your grandfather and I might make a rule about your undies, but it’s not like we sit around trying to make your lives difficult or thinking about piddly ways to spend our times,” My grandma explained.

“You guys are wired differently. The girls can wear skirts and the snot just clings to their thighs. If we ever did forbid you from wearing underwear you would just stain your jeans front and back.”

Noah laughed at us, and so did my sister. I could tell she might be warming up to him.

“What’s so funny, Sis?” Kevin asked with a snarky grin. “You are still the one that had to hand over her panties.”

“You guys are going to make fun of me, no matter what I do. You guys laugh when we fight over panties, you laugh when we get panty checked. It just feels good sometimes to see you two Golden boys taken down a notch.”

I didn’t think of myself as a “Golden Boy”, and it surprised me to hear my sister say that.

“The boys don’t mean anything when they laugh at us,” My mom interjected warmly and added that she laughs harder than anyone at herself. “Don’t wish the same rules on your brothers just to get even.”

“Yeah, I know you girls are going to get up to no good. The rules are mostly there to ensure peace and harmony, not justice. It may not seem fair, but I really don’t like all the bickering,” my grandma added.

“Noah, don’t tell everyone at school that I get panty checked at home, okay?” she asked as she started to walk upstairs.

“I doubt anyone would believe me even if I wanted to do that,” Noah shrugged.

My sister stopped and a shit-eating grin spread from ear to ear as she asked us if we heard Chrissy. “C’mon, you have to hear this!”

We followed my sister enthusiastically up the stairs but tried not to make a lot of noise as we dashed up the steps. Chrissy was lost in the throes of passion, mewling like a lost kitten and moaning obscenities about how good it felt.

“Oh god, shit! That’s fucking fantastic! Oh god, yes! Mmmm,” she moaned loudly.

My brother and I weren’t initially very impressed. We’ve heard the girls playing with themselves through the walls before. Our room is right next door, and we share a bathroom. The part that made this interesting was the volume and the amount of vulgarities my sweet little sister was spewing with passion.

“Fuck, Fuck me,” her voice hit a high note, and she sang out “Oh yes, fuck me hard! All the way! Deeper, god-damn it! Fuck me, like that”

“She sounds jubilant,” my grandmother snickered as we stood in the hallway near her door and listened Chrissy’s orgasmic cries radiate from her room. “Do you think she has a boy in there with her?” she asked.

“No, Chrissy always gets like this,” Kevin explained.

“No, this is different. Chicken Breast is going to pound town. I wouldn’t be surprised if we opened the door and she had her wrist or entire elbow inside herself,” Tuna used her own wrist to pantomime how that might work shoved inside of a woman’s vagina.

“Don’t open her door,” Grandma frowned. “Let the poor dear have some fun! You were just complaining that we are too strict. I don’t mind if you girls play with yourself in your room as long as your chores are done, and you don't' give me a pissy attitude.”

“Well, that’s our room. So, we have to be able to get in there,” Tuna replied surly.

“We don’t right now, Tuna,” my mom took Tuna’s wrist in her hand gently and nodded in agreement with her mom.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, OH, OH!!!! OH MY, OH GAWD, OH FUCK, YES, MORE, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!!!!!!! OH, FuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK,” Chrissy belted out the last part of her latest orgasmic litany.

“The hallway is shaking,” I laughed. As I felt my sister’s pleasure filled voice vibrate through me.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you guys play with yourselves enough times that it’s not a big deal, but I am kind of curious what she’s doing to herself in there,” Kevin admitted.

Noah stood there awkwardly as the rest of us laughed and debated what exactly our sister might be doing to herself in her room to cause her to react that way.

“Chicken told me that her bra was chafing her nipples all day and that it brought her close to orgasm but she could never get over the hill,” my mom added.

“Chrissy was edging herself all day, and now she is exploding,” Tuna Sub made the diagnosis with a confident grin.

“What is edging?” my grandma asked.

“It’s like when a guy keeps you hanging on. He does just enough to get you close to the edge without going off the deep end.”

“That sounds hot,” my mom smiled.

“It’s not. I was fucking around with this old guy, and he used to tie me up, and finger me. Then he would get me all hot and bothered and the moment I was about to cum, he’d pour cold water on my head or hit me with the garden hose,” Tuna admitted.

I wasn’t sure if half the shit my sister told us she did was just made up or something she heard from other sluts. She was a “topper”. If you tell her you are into something, then somehow, she did it better. If you say you found the best Chinese food, she’d tell you about a time she had authentic Chinese food shipped from New York. If you told her you actually went all the way to China to get it, she’d tell you she SPOKE Mandarin.

That might be a little hyperbole, but there wasn’t a kink or fetish my sister didn’t at least pretend to know about it.

"I never saw the appeal in being bound and denied, Tuna. It just seems like a waste of a perfectly good afternoon when you could be making someone feel good," my mom said and she rested her hand on her chest. "I like to be touched and wrap my legs around a man so I can feel him move. Being told I'm a good girl while I'm coming is a lot more productive than being left to simmer under a garden hose. I’d rather have the pleasure than the frustration. It sounds like he was being mean to you.”

“He was, he was teasing me. I thought he was going to spank me and use whips and chains,” she admitted.

“You bitch every time you get a spanking,” I reminded her.

“Not like one Maw-Maw or Grandpa give me. Those HURT and they do them in front of everyone in the living room while calling me out about my bullshit. Then you guys laugh at me. I like the fun stuff that releases endorphins,” she admitted.

“if someone is spanking you and it feels good, they are doing it wrong. Your grandpa and I could spank you like that, and I can assure you, that you’d still hate it, Tuna. You don’t like being called on your bullshit and laughed it. The spanking is just to get your attention.”

“You should make Tuna do sit-ups and push-ups” Keven patted our sister’s chubby belly, adding “She hates exercise!”

My sister glared at him and probably began planning to get him back for that wise-crack.

“Why were you letting some guy tie you up?” I asked skeptically.

“I liked it,” she shrugged like it was not that big of a deal or any of our business to know more. I have to admit that it really wasn’t, but I enjoyed poking my older sister.

“Cool, let US tie you up and pour buckets of water on your head anytime you get ready to have an orgasm,” Kevin laughed.

“You wouldn’t know how to tie these knots, and I HATED it when he’d pour water on me. He kept ruining my orgasm just before it began all day. It was so fucking frustrating, but then in the end, I’d finally have one huge explosive volcanic eruption and flood his entire bed.”

“Do we know this guy?” my grandma asked.

“Maybe,” Tuna replied with a coy attitude in a high voice.

“Which one of your DAD’S FRIENDS was it?” my grandma asked more clearly. She was loud enough that we thought Chrissy might hear us in the hallway. Irene waved us off dismissively and Chrissy powered right on through her orgasm moaning and groaning.

“Uncle Steve,” she smiled.

“Uncle Steve!” my brother and I were shocked and dismayed. “That guys is older than dust.”

“He’s my age,” Irene glowered at me and then her blue eyes settled back on Tuna. “That’s why he hasn’t come over. He’s not really your Uncle. He’s just a friend of the family. You get that right?”

“I know, and I don’t have a problem if he wants to come over. He doesn’t have to be a big baby about him. I wasn’t fucking with him to be girlfriend and boyfriend.”

“Why would you fuck Uncle Steve at all?” I scrunched my nose in disgust. “You can have any guy our age that you want.”

“Aww, thanks,” my sister leaned in and kissed me on the lips sweetly and booped my nose. “No,” boop “I” boop…”I can’t.” boop-boop she bounced her knees and butt as she used her finger to boop my nose each time.

“You can do better than Uncle Steve,” Kevin agreed.

“Contrary to popular belief, not all girls are looking for handsome, rugged guys with ripped muscles. We like personality, and experience,” my sister pretended to be above petty, surface desires.

“He tied you up at his house?” Grandma seemed shocked but not skeptical. This did sound like something my older sister would be into.

“He hung me by my tits outside in his backyard, or the garage, or his living room, and then he teased me with french ticklers, butt plugs, and smacked with me riding crops to get me horny.”

“Uncle Steve suspended you by your tits?” My mom seemed amused and impressed, not shocked.

“Well, not entirely. My tits are so huge that he tied them together and stretched my nipples out like you do when you get your breasts pumped. He had to tie my ankles, and wrists together too.”

“He should have gagged you!” I joked.

“Oh, Uncle Steve had other uses for my mouth,” my sister winked proudly. It seemed like she was bragging – and that’s exactly what Tuna Sub WAS doing.

“How much did Steve pay you to let him tie you up?” My grandma asked. The look on my grandmother’s face was the kind she gives somebody when she’s about to call their bluff.

“Usually about sixty, sometimes more,” Tuna admitted while a look of shame spread across her smiling face. “It was usually six hours, so he paid me ten dollars an hour on Sundays. I remember because he skipped out on golf a bunch of times.”

“You whored yourself out for sixty bucks?” Irene was dismayed and a look of disappointment and concern flooded her face.

“I don't really look at it like that, Maw-Maw. I wanted to try it, it sounded adventurous. I thought if he is offering, I may as well take the money. You know? I am not going to say no to cash.” She added almost as if it vindicated her “I am sure I could have got more if I insisted.”

“You stopped seeing your Uncle Steve about six months ago, right?” Irene asked.

“Yeah,” Tuna shrugged.

“Your grandpa thought his best golf buddy ditched him because of something he must have said or did. They haven’t talked in almost precisely six months.”

“Oh, no! I am sorry, Grandma! I didn’t think he’d take it that hard. I called Steve one day and told him that he was boring me to tears and I wanted to get fucked. If he’s mad at anyone, he should be mad at me.”

“Do you have any of the money left over from this?”

“Nah,” Tuna acted like that was a silly question. It was silly, because she was terrible with money just like my mom and Chrissy.

“How much do you think Steve paid you?”

“I am bad at math, Grandma,” Tuna admitted without even trying to take a guess at the answer.

“Did he pay you the same amount every week? How long did you see him?”

“No, sometimes he stiffed me, and other times he gave me a little more to do a little more. I didn’t keep track of it. I think we only played around for four months,” she guessed while glaring at me with a confused expression. My sister must have assumed that nobody could figure out.

“At sixteen weeks, if she made on average 60 bucks, that’s around a thousand dollars, Grandma,” I said.

“Thank you, Brian. I can figure that out on my own,” my grandma chuckled. “A thousand bucks would probably pay for the damage you did to your grandpa’s car when you too it joyriding without permission,” she added.

“I would give it to you if I still had it,” she assured our grandma and said “It didn't' cost grandpa anything to fix it, anyway. He was outside doing it himself today.”

It was typical Tuna Sub to think that the repair cost nothing because he did it himself.

“It cost money to pull a new bumper, and get the parts, but it also cost your grandpa weeks of time doing the repair on the weekends. Time he didn’t have to spend if he had the money to pay for a repair,” My grandma said.

“Oh, I didn’t know,” Tuna sounded like she didn’t care, either. “I thought he just liked fixing cars.”

“You thought Henry likes fixing cars so you wrecked his 1974 Chevy Malibu to give your grandfather something to do?” My grandma didn’t sound angry. Her tone was so sweet that it almost sounded like she was proud of Tuna.

“I didn’t think of it that way, but it was an accident and it was an old car, so I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” she dug her hole deeper.

I wanted to point out that the car was a classic but my grandma darted her eyes at me.

“I am going to invite your Uncle Steve over, and you are going to explain to your grandfather what you did and said to him that cost hi his friendship with Steve,” Irene was all business in how she laid out what was going to happen.

“Absolutely, I’ve already been punished for this though,” Tuna seemed confused because she thought the matter was over since it happened in the past.

“You have, and we’ll take that into consideration. Since you enjoy being tied up and denied, orgasm we’ll give you something to do like you did for your grandfather.”

Tuna’s mouth dropped open and her jaw hit the floor.

“If Steve wants to pay for the privilege of tying you up, and dunking your head in water when you feel an orgasm coming on then he can do it in your father’s garage while they catch up on the six months that Jim and Henry lost due to your thoughtless comments. Not to mention, I had to listen to Henry complain that his friend wasn’t talking to him any longer and he didn’t know the reason. He’ll be thrilled to know that other than raising you to be a thoughtless little twat, none of this was his fault.”

“Steve is coming here? To tie me up?” my sister was mortified.

I kept my mouth shut, and so did Kevin. We didn’t want to jinx things by laughing too hard.

“We can keep an eye on you, and if you make snarky comments, he can stuff it with some of your dirty, crusty panties to muffle the sounds,” Grandma added.

I wasn’t sure whether I should laugh or feel sorry for my sister’s new predicament.

“Steve can pay us directly and we’ll use that money to pay for the cost of repairs and your grandfather’s time.”

“You aren’t serious, are you, Grandma? Tuna dropped the tough bitch that had seen and done it all act and began to whine and wheedle.

“Why would I joke about this, Tuna? You obviously did it enough times that it was tolerable to you. You can spend your Fridays and Sundays in the garage getting turned on without cumming.”

“Wait, you said Friday nights only. Now, I have to do this on Sundays as well?” Tuna’s panic was amusing to me. I tried not to laugh but the way she needed an urgent response was delightful because my older sister was normally jaded and now she was freaking out.

“Any night, really. If it amuses your grandfather when Uncle Steve isn’t over, I suppose you wouldn’t mind going out to the garage and letting him tie you up. Don’t worry, we’ll come check on you every few hours.”

“Every few hours?” Tuna whined.

“Is there an echo in here?” Grandma chuckled without sympathy. “Once you are tied up, Brian and Kevin can come make sure you have a little water. This will be good for you. You wanted to lose some weight. You can afford to skip a few meals!”

“No way! You are going to string me up and make me beg Kevin and Brian to let me down to go pee and give me a drink?”

“Oh no, you can probably just pee right there in the garage. We can put down newspaper and you can clean it up when Uncle Steve finishes with you.”

“Can me and Brian string her up when Uncle Steve is not here, Grandma?” Kevin asked excitedly. He was beside himself with joy.

“I don’t’ see why not. You’ve seen your sister naked before, but you can’t let her cum. Are you going to feel sorry for herself if she begs?”

“Please, no grandma! I don’t want to be their pincushion. I’ll never live it down around here. It’s bad enough they tease us for being horny sluts, now they’d probably invite their friends over to watch!”

“You aren’t THAT attractive, the line wilol be out the door, but why shouldn’t their friends have a laugh if they are bored? A chubby little horndog tied up in the garage would be amusing but I doubt we’ll have more than two or three of their friends over to watch at a tme. Don’t get a swollen head, Tuna.”

“Oh my god,” Tuna was frantic. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Your grandpa didn’t want to repair the damage you did to his car but he had to do it. Its his baby. Now, obviously if any of their friends come over and play too rough with you, we’ll ask them to stop.”

“Grandma, some of them would pay sixty bucks to have six hours of my sister’ time hanging on the line for them!” Kevin promised.

“Really? We could make a lot of money this way!” mygrandma was delighted and laughing. She enjoyed teasing Tuna. “Why are you being such a bad sport about this, Tuna Sub? You can play with yourself at the end and you’ll be screaming your head off like Chicken Breasts in there. “

“Can we watch her explode? I am genuinely curious what Chicken is doing,” Kevin asked.

My grandma opened her mouth to respond but I didn’t hear the answer.

“Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay,” Tuna held up her hand. “I lied, okay? I made it up. Uncle Steve never tied me up and I’ve never been edged!”

My Grandma’s knowing smirk told her that she knew that already. “Why do you lie like that, Tuna?”

“She’s a topper,” I explained. “if Chicken is being edged by her bra, then Tuna is going to say that she’s been edged by Uncle Stee for longer, and it was far more intense.”

“No, I don’t always say it was Uncle Steve,” my sister growled angrily. “Uncle Steve has hit on me, and I told him to fuck off, but a lot of people have hit on me. Honestly I don’t know why he stopped hanging out with grandma.”

“I know that, dear. I just wanted to see if you’d be honest with me before we tied you up and hung you in the garage.”

“You weren’t really going to make me do that were you, Grandma?”

“You know me. I spoil you girls, but I would have asked your grandpa. It might be good for you to miss some lunches and not think about sex and your own pleasure so often.”

“Oh, thank you, Grandma!” my sister was so relieved.

“We want you girls to stop playing with yourselves all the time and focus on getting jobs, doing chores and your homework but I know girls will be girls and you three are obsessed with digging out your pussies and riding dicks.”

Tuna and my mom didn’t argue. Suddenly, Chicken began to sound out a “WAH! WAH, UGH!” orgasmic scream that sounded primal and grounded in pure pleasure. We began to collectively laugh because her orgasm was so over the top.

“Go wash up, everywhere, dear,” my grandma kissed Tuna on the lips and went downstairs to start on dinner. My brother and I went into our room with Noah to talk about what he had seen so far.

My mom opened the door to check on Chicken Breast.

“Mom!!” Chicken’s hair and naked body was tangled up in the blankets, her ass was up and she was still fingering herself slowly as she rode the wave of her last cataclysmic orgasm.

“I waited outside of our door for as long as I could, sweetheart. We all had a good laugh listening to you have one mindfuck of an orgasm.”

“Oh my god, Mom! You guys heard me?”

“The Pope in Rome may have heard you, dear. You sounded like you were having a really good time. I almost came just listening to you groan.”

Chicken removed her fingers, but didn’t bother to cover herself. She shared a room with her mom and they were used to seeing each other in the nude. “It was fucking awesome. I was so frustrated all day at school that I just had to pound my pussy and it paid off like a slot machine hitting jackpot.”

“So, you like wearing the bra?” my mom examined Chicken’s distended, smashed nipples and noticed they were sore and puffy.

“it hurts, and I don’t want to put on again tonight, but I had the best orgasm of my ilfe just now, so I guess that’s how I’ll be going to school from now on.”

"Let mommy kiss your boob-boo and make it all better," my mom leaned over and wrapped her lips around my sisters stiff, sore nipples and licked lovingly. I had never seen them do this with each other, but it was definitely quite a bit more intense than the kiss had been downstairs.

"Boob-Boo, that's funny!" Chrissy giggled sweetly as she ran her fingers through our mom's blonde hair and enjoyed the tender kisses.