Stage Slave: Chains of Desire

[shmeckle]

How much should I continue? Only 5 "thanks" on the last part. Not sure if I am going where people like on the story. The original requester for the story hasn't even seen it I think. Should I stop? Quickly close out the day-after? Move toward the play immediately? Linger and have more tales of Kira's abuse, maybe she gets caught by the cops and arrested and the whole group gets expelled? Probably not that.

I look forward to each installment & love what you've written.

I could see her getting caught by the campus police and Marcus coming to her rescue. He suggests to the College administration that her nudity is 'protected artistic expression' & they reluctantly agree. Which could lead to Kira having to deal with a lot more public exposure.

I'm also curious about the play and what happens after. Does she keep being Sophie's submissive slave, or try to go back to her former life? And whether Tessa being Toy Number Two is a permanent thing or not.

[Hooked6]

How much should I continue? Only 5 "thanks" on the last part. Not sure if I am going where people like on the story. The original requester for the story hasn't even seen it I think. Should I stop? Quickly close out the day-after? Move toward the play immediately? Linger and have more tales of Kira's abuse, maybe she gets caught by the cops and arrested and the whole group gets expelled? Probably not that.

Since you asked for feedback by asking specific questions I would be happy to add my two cents

Should I Stop? Depends on the direction you are taking the story. You are at a crossroads I think.

Quickly close out the day after? Too many unanswered questions to close out. Your buildup to the play was marvelous, and although the last few chapters took the focus away from the PLAY and her exposure to the audience and peers and spent too much attention on focusing on the party on her dorm floor, leading us to believe practically everyone has seen not only her body but her degradation as well and that any action that occurs in the play would seem, to be anticlimactic.


Linger and have more tales of Kira's abuse, maybe she gets caught by the cops and arrested and the whole group gets expelled? Hell no. Not only would that pretty much kill the story, it is unrealistic to think something like that would happen to an art student in today's day and age. University cops usually turn a blind eye to these things unless someone is in serious danger and in many cases, I doubt that they would actively intervene unless the press were involved. Look at all the violent protests on campuses recently that basically were ignored by campus police.


Move toward the play immediately? Yes! Absolutely. Forget the "two toys" idea taking the story off on a tangent that limits your possibilities furthering the plot and focus on the star and the purpose of the story - namely about a shy, reserved student pushed to expose herself in front of people and peers that she would be mortified to be seen naked in front of playing the part of a slave. All the things that happened at the party should have been part of the play happening in front of a huge audience, not just in front of a few female dorm students. (See Executionist's classic story The Passion of Jesica Christ for example. ) If you did that, the tension would be extremely high and garner a high level of interest.

Regardless of what direction you decide to take I am only offering my opinion because you asked for answers to specific questions and I offer a thoughtful response to each.

Hope that helps.

Hooked6

..

[shmeckle]

Linger and have more tales of Kira's abuse, maybe she gets caught by the cops and arrested and the whole group gets expelled? Hell no. Not only would that pretty much kill the story, it is unrealistic to think something like that would happen to an art student in today's day and age. University cops usually turn a blind eye to these things unless someone is in serious danger and in many cases, I doubt that they would actively intervene unless the press were involved. Look at all the violent protests on campuses recently that basically were ignored by campus police.

I work at a large university. As far as their response to big student protests, the police would be answering to the administration, who are usually more concerned about public perception than stopping the protests. Police busting up large gatherings is bad PR.

Smaller stuff, like loud parties, fights, or public lewdness, they will get involved in. Looking like a "Party School" with out-of-control students is also bad PR.