Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Here lie the stories of contests past, find your old story posts here.
Locked
User avatar
Executionus
Posts: 1087
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:09 am
Has thanked: 730 times
Been thanked: 850 times
Contact:

Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Executionus »

This is my spinoff entry (although it's not entered in the contest, because I can't win my own damn contest). This is a bonus chapter of A Lesson in Karma by the talented Nikolai. You'll want to read that in order to understand the character of Candace and her depraved obsession. Plus it's a classic.




___________________________________________________



People always asked me how I selected my prey, as if there was some elaborate, complex process behind the whole thing. It wasn't something I did on a conscious level half the time, it was just this trigger in my brain that would go off once a girl had "earned it" somehow in my brain. Truthfully the definition of "earn it" was so weak as to almost seem random to an outsider, but it wasn't so-much random as it was a reaction to some minor trigger. Some girls just said the wrong thing and pissed me off. Some girls inconvenienced me in some way (usually by accident but I didn't care). A couple of them I took down solely because something about their appearance irked me. I'm not even kidding, there was this one girl in particular that I targeted, at great inconvenience to myself at the time, simply because her stupid pink hair highlights were asymmetrical like she'd been dyed by a drunk. Just looking at her drove me nuts, she had to be punished. That was a funny one! I asked the small crowd if they thought her carpet would match the drapes in poor dye quality when all she had left to wear were her panties. With my hands inside of her waistband, I made them all guess what her bush would look like, and then I made the victim describe her own private region for us all just to torment her and draw out the anticipation of us all seeing it. You should've seen the reaction from her when I started slowly pulling her panties down anyway even after she had complied with my every order, it was priceless. Thankfully her pussy hair didn't share her terrible dye job.

Another thing that often triggered me was a girl's pitifulness. Nerds were always fun, for obvious reasons, as were those losers who grew up homeschooled and awkward. Chicks in bikinis were fun partially because of how easy it was to strip them and how many different ways I could make it happen. Sometimes I could look at a random girl, seriously just make eye contact from across the cafeteria, and watch her life flash before her eyes. If one of them visibly cringed or shivered from my stare, terrified to death solely from me with my reputation gazing at them, I immediately added that person to my list. Those were the screamers, the beggars, and the criers. A few of them even wet themselves when I finally got a hold of them! I mean, not my thing technically, but the shame on their faces from having done that in front of everyone was still pretty satisfying. Not to mention, the rush from scaring them that badly before I even really began was intoxicating by itself. Somehow, some way, each and every girl set off some switch in my brain that told me that they were next.

There was one trigger, however, that hit me the hardest of all when it went off: The trigger of a girl who had done absolutely, positively, NOTHING to deserve being humiliated. Most of the girls I went after annoyed me in some way, or crossed me, or at the very least did something that made me want them humiliated. But rarely, in certain situations that I can't really explain, I went after victims so innocent that only the sickest fucks alive would ever mess with them. And those girls, the completely innocent ones, were the ones that truly pushed the limits of my depravity. It was as if the sin itself was getting me off. Just imagining one of them could get me soaked, actually doing things to them was too intense for words.

Perfect example, this babysitter named Leah. So my crew and I had been touring local playgrounds and parks on the prowl for targets off and on again several times, and unfortunately word got out around school to avoid those area like the plague. Frankly I was annoyed at the audacity of these bitches hiding like that, but really who could blame them? Getting near me is like WarGames...the only winning move is not to play. We ended up bored one day and we drove way out to a park in the next town, about a 10 minute drive, just to see if we could locate some fresh meat that way.

We're looking around and there isn't really all that much talent here, aside from this babysitter who looked around 15 or 16. Most of the park was boys of all ages doing their lame impression of Ninja Warrior on all of the equipment, but this one girl was clearly keeping watch over three of the younger ones (around 12ish I guess, I didn't exactly card them). The three boys were seemingly all the same age and not brothers, just friends sharing a mutual babysitter. It just now occurred to me that I never did ask if she was the sister of any of them, which would be pretty hilarious considering what went down.

When me and two of my crew walked into the playground area, we quickly split up looking for any viable prey. Probably less than 15 seconds after we split, the babysitter girl spotted me and joyfully sprinted right towards me. She seriously almost skipped my way! She wore a pink tank and a blue skirt, making me wonder why any girl would wear a skirt to a playground. This girl was all smiles and unnervingly happy to see a female peer. There was clearly no way in hell that she had ever heard of me, there wasn't one single drop of fear or worry in her pure little eyes.

"Hey there! I'm Leah. What's your name?" she asked as she waved at me cutely, 3 feet in front of me. I could easily grab her right now and do unspeakable things to her, but she doesn't hesitate to greet me anyway.

I answer her "Candace."

She started chatting me up as if we'd known each other for years, as if she trusted me with her life based on first sight alone "Your hair looks so good! I'm so jealous, seriously. Mine always wants to curl up at random whenever it's humid out. It's so embarrassing. But you look so good! Oh, and I'm keeping an eye on those three boys over there, Joshua, Michael, and Gabe, although they're really well-behaved and not difficult at all. They're basically little angels, parents just want someone responsible around in case of emergency or what-not. Are you here with young ones too or just on your own?"

I cannot understate how unusual it felt in that moment for a young girl to be so friendly to me. That was not something that I was used to anymore given my reign of terror. I felt a little awkward as I responded "No kids. I'm...here with my friends. We do what we want"

Leah bounced "That's so cool. It's so great to be free and to ignore any haters or negative influences. I try, but I'm not very good at it honestly. So hey, I gotta get back to watching the boys, but you can come hang with me if you want. Also if you or your friends want some snacks, I have plenty to share. Have fun!"

She waved again and took off back towards where the boys were on the monkey bars. This girl just offered me snacks and asked me to hang out, as friendly and as positive as can be. And somehow, my deeply fucked up brain wanted nothing more right then and there than to sexually humiliate her until her every inch was exposed, her every tear cried until she ran out of them. Thinking back on it, I kinda feel sick to my stomach remembering what I did to her. Most of the girls I feel no real remorse about, but Leah makes me cringe to think about. Of course, at the time she made me SO...FUCKING...HORNY even before my plan was fully formed in my mind. Was I a twisted, perverse, sadistic freak who deserved what I got in the end? Yep. Did I know it at the time? Oh yeah. Did the knowledge of just how truly and deeply fucked up I was actually turn me on even more? You betcha! It was an endless cycle.

I gathered my crew mates and began explaining my plan. When they asked me why I targeted that girl, I lied and told them that she had been a little too smug for my liking and needed knocked down a peg. I could never admit the truth to them or anyone else. I couldn't just open my mouth and tell them all "Well this girl is so gosh-darn cute and sweet that stripping her bare-ass in front of the boys she babysits is going to turn my panties into niagra falls". That wouldn't go over well.

My plan explained, I sent my minions to the car to grab the supplies we were going to need. We came prepared with a trunk full of a whole mess of tools, ropes, creams, and even some really weird fetish shit (some that I don't think we ever actually figured out a use for during this entire adventure). This plot didn't need much in the way of tools, mostly just some bungee ties, a pair of scissors, two handcuffs, and some jumper cables for flavor. The key to my plan was actually NOT something I brought myself, but a sand bucket that some kid abandoned in the sandbox area. The whole plan falls apart without that little beauty. It was full to the brim with sand and annoyingly heavy. I picked it up, honestly struggling a little bit but hiding that little fact.

After I set down the bucket of sand nearby, my girls and I walked up to our unsuspecting target as she and the younger boys were playing on the monkey bars. One of the boys, the blonde, was hanging by his arms and legs upside down to show off, but kept chickening out of hanging down by legs alone when the other boys dared him. Perfect.

Without even saying hello or anything, I called out "Hey Leah! You should show him how it's done. I'm sure you'd have no trouble hanging from the bars."

Leah giggled and answered "I can't, silly! I'm wearing a skirt. Everyone would see my underwear if I did that."

Putting on my most trustworthy face (and I can hear you assholes snickering, but I can look trustworthy damnit!) I said to her "Don't worry about that. I'll just stand next to you and hold your skirt in place, that way it won't fall down."

Nervously, she asked "Um..are you sure? I still don't know if it's such a good idea"

And then I laid it on thick by telling her "Well it has to be you, since you're their role model, girl. Get on up there, it'll be fine." And then, for the sole purpose of amusing myself and my friends, I added "I actually have a surprising amount of experience holding other girls' clothes lately, so you won't have to worry about any accidents"

Both of my crew mates couldn't help but laugh at my one-liner and technically I didn't lie to her...this wasn't going to be an accident. She continued to waffle a little bit more, but the three boys made themselves very useful by cheering her on. If only they knew what they were about to be seeing, they would've cheered twice as hard.

Leah climbed up onto the monkey bars, foolishly trusting me to protect her modesty. As she hooked her legs on the top bars, I played my role by holding her long skirt in place against her thighs. She released her grip with her hands, falling downward until her body was totally vertical hanging by her knees on the bar. She was hanging by her legs, waving her arms downward and posing a little bit for the boys. Here I was, Little Miss Helpful, holding her skirt so that it didn't fall. With absolutely zero effort I could pull it down, or even just let it go, and her panties would be right there in the open for all of us to see. The reason that I didn't, of course, was that I had something far more elaborate in mind. It's like making food...you have to spend the time to prepare and properly cook your meal if you want it to be satisfying, and after you've grown accustomed to good meals then you'll never again be happy with some ultra-rushed microwaved "dinner".

I winked at my girls, who immediately recognized the signal and struck. They quickly used the bungee ties to secure Leah's knees and ankles to the sides of the monkey bars, trapping them in place and somewhat parted. It actually took a second before Leah even noticed what was going on, and all she managed to say was a pitiful "Hey! Why did you tie my legs?"

On some level I was surprised by the lack of anger and hostility. Usually I got cussed out, screamed at, the whole nine yards when the fun times began. But this girl? No, she immediately went to soft and pitiful as if a close friend was pranking her. This girl's purity and naivety were just delicious for me. I answered her question "That's to make sure that you can't escape, while we all play ourselves a little game"

Nervously she asked "W..what kind of game? I don't like this"

I responded "No, you're not going to like this game, not one bit. But everybody else is going to love it! Especially all of the boys nearby"

All three boys got this horny look in their eyes, and I could just imagine what dirty thoughts went through their heads when I said that. And the ironic part is, they were probably TAME compared to what I was actually going to do.

She suddenly yelped "Don't pull down my skirt!"

I felt a little proud of how fast she caught on to the point of the game, but little did she know that her outburst actually worked well with what I already had planned for her. I rolled with it, acting like this was all improv "Ok fine, I'll let you keep your skirt on..." I paused dramatically "...but ONLY that!"

The next part was a frantic mess of screaming, struggling, flailing, pulling, and cutting. I want to lie and say that we did it smoothly, but honestly it was all pretty sloppy and we're going to skip a lot of the details for this part. Just know that with my girls holding the skirt in place, I reached underneath it and cut off of panties. Now if the skirt fell at all, we were all going to see a lot more than just her underwear. But wait, as my plan got even better. I reached under her shirt and stole her bra next, followed by pulling the waistband of her skirt down (up?) her body until it rested over her breasts like a dress. I then ripped off her shirt, and took her shoes and socks just for the hell of it. She was now completely naked except for the skirt which still kept everything covered (for now). The hem of the skirt was now only a few inches past her naked pussy, meaning that if any really tall guys walked next to us they would be able to see it all.

Leah was frantic and begged us to stop and let her go. She was actually shaking and trembling out of nervousness, but amazingly she never stopped trying to be nice to me. I think she was hoping that I would show her mercy as long as she didn't anger me and instead made me feel sorry for her. Honestly, I probably should have shown her mercy, but deep inside her pitifulness and kindness through this whole thing was already making my panties soaked and we haven't even gotten to the good part yet.

Meanwhile the boys were hooting and hollering, watching this whole thing in disbelief. I guess they figured they wouldn't get in trouble for seeing their babysitter get stripped if all they did was watch a bunch of older girls do the deed. I mean they're right, but it was still pretty funny that not even one of them attempted to stop us and save the modesty of this sweet angel. I can't say that I blame them, though.

To finish the makeshift outfit on poor hanging Leah, I tied the hem of her skirt in a loose slipknot between her legs, closing it for now with a knot that would come undone quickly if anyone pulled down hard enough on the skirt. I stepped back now to get a good look at my handiwork. She looked like she was wearing the world's worst bathing suit to be honest. Once she was by herself, though, she immediately tried to lean forward and free her legs, and we can't have that.

After pulling her back down and telling her "no", she whimpered to us "Why...why are you doing this to me?"

I put my face level with her face and said "I already told you. I'm Candace. Me and my friends, we do what we want."

Pitifully she asked again "But...why me?"

I whispered the next part in her ears, just to satisfy my own itch truthfully "Absolutely, positively, zero reason" and then I stood back up straight as she looked at me bewildered.

After motioning for my girls to bring over the bucket full of sand, I looped the jumper cables through the handle of it. I then announced loudly enough for everybody to hear me "You are going to hold this bucket for me now. If you drop it, you lose the skirt. Understand?"

She was too frightened to answer, but you can bet your bottom dollar that when I handed her the bucket that she held on tightly. And now the real fun begins, as I took the clip ends of the jumper cables and hooked them to the waistband of the skirt. Now if she dropped the bucket, the skirt was going to be pulled right off of her by gravity and I wouldn't have to do a thing. As one final touch, I handcuffed both of her wrists to the handle of the bucket, meaning that even if she let go of the bucket right now she would never have the strength needed to lift her arms up and cover up her girly parts. If she let go of the bucket, every single one of us, including the three boys she was babysitting, were going to get one hell of a show.

As I walked away from her after setting up this perfect torture trap, she started to cry and beg again "Please...please Candace, don't leave me like this! I'll do anything you want, please. I can't hold this bucket for long, it's too heavy! I'm going to slip!"

I ignored her pleas this time. Just to rub salt on the sadistic wounds, I reached into her backpack to search for those snacks she had offered me earlier. When I saw what she had I actually said out loud "Damn, girl! Name brand Oreo's. Nice!" as I passed them out to my friends and the boys while we watched the show.

The look in that girl's eyes slowly turned from sweet and innocent to one of hatred and malice as she hung there, struggling desperately to keep her modesty, while her tormentors and the boys she cared for all enjoyed some Oreo's while watching her torment. I was so wet down there at this point that I probably could've dunked my cookie in my panties like it was a glass of milk. There is something massively different about stripping an innocent girl vs a guilty girl. The guilty ones all know that they deserve it, that they did something to wrong me or to piss me off and that this is their punishment. They reach a point where they just stop fighting and give in to total submission like a small child being punished by their parent. This isn't the case with the innocent girls. The innocent ones know that they have done nothing to deserve any of this, and they never give up. They never stop fighting or struggling, plus they never stop begging and whining all the way to the end. The innocent ones hold out hope right until the last possible moment, hoping against all logic that somebody will take pity on them. They have always been so kind and helpful to everyone else in their time of need, it's almost as if the universe owes them a favor. They have earned all of this positive karma and it's time to cash it in. They pray to every god in hopes of divine intervention. Except, nobody ever saves them, nothing ever spares them. The universe itself betrays them, God forsakes them, and their lifetime of karma meant jack diddly squat. They realize that sometimes karma's a lie! Watching these pitiful girls run through all of these emotions and feeling the ultimate betrayal of God, the universe, karma, and the people they trusted all put together is such an amazing thing to see. On the one hand, it is pure evil. On the other, it is SO...FUCKING...HOT and just remembering that feeling wets me all over again. In that moment, I was soaked and kept right on the edge with the anticipation.

Her body wiggling and struggling as her fingers started to lose strength was teasing me and the boys. I could see it in their eyes, all three of them were about ready to bust in their pants from the excitement just as I was. None of us said anything, we just stood there watching her fingers failing and listening to her desperate pleas for mercy. I had my phone out to record the entire thing.

"PLEASE!!" she screamed "I'M SLIPPING! I CAN'T HOLD ON, PLEASE HELP ME!"

We all stayed silent as her hands fell open, with only the tips of her fingers holding on to the bucket now.

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!" she wailed "DON'T LET EVERYONE SEE ME NAAAAAKED! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR WHATEVER I DID, HONEST! JUST SAVE ME BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! I'M GONNA DROP IT!!"

Her fingers slipped one by one until only her middle and pointer fingers held on at all. Amazingly, she put every drop of her remaining willpower into that last ditch effort to save herself. I was so turned on watching all of this that I was shivering and rubbing my thighs together for stimulation. I was too horny to even worry about anyone noticing to be honest.

All of her focus spent concentrating, she couldn't even scream anymore. She was mere seconds away from complete nudity and nobody was going to save her. She realized it in this moment by looking at us. No matter how much she begged, none of us were going to save her from being naked. Knowing that there was no hope, she still couldn't bring herself to give up. She fought it until the very end.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed as her fingers slipped, dropping the bucket. The bucket fell to the ground, instantly pulling her skirt down as well. The knot between her legs slipped open effortlessly and the waistband slipped past her head. Gravity took the whole thing down, the skirt falling to the ground. The handcuffs on the bucket prevented Leah's hands from covering up, even though she frantically struggled to free herself. Leah was completely naked in front of us all now! I came, I came so damn hard that I had to bite my own goddamn lip into order to prevent myself from moaning.

Leah muttered helplessly "Oh no! I'm naked, I'm naked!!" just barely loud enough for me to hear it as she tried to get her arms free of the handcuffs. I doubt she meant to say that out loud.

She was a beautiful girl, not a flaw to be seen on her body. Perky pointy nipples rising above a pool of pink areola perfectly punctuated her plump puppies! That chest was making people break out in random alliteration for crying out loud, it was gorgeous. They were about a C cup I wager. Meanwhile down south (up north?) her legs pulled slightly apart by the bungee cords meant that we weren't just looking at outer labia here, we got a look at the interior goodies too. And she was kind enough to shave herself beforehand, which gave us all an even better view. Smooth and pink, glistening in the sunlight. It almost looked as if she was aroused right then but...it couldn't be.

The boys wasted no time getting closer for a better look. She pitifully moaned "Boys, please, cover your eyes! Don't look at me like this" but everyone ignored that request. Some of the other boys nearby were now running closer to us, having noticed the naked girl hanging there.

One of the main three pointed a finger at Leah's opened groin and squealed "Holy fuck, guys, it's her actual boobs and pussy! No bullshit!" The others mumbled these groaning sounds in response that cannot be spelled in English easily, but in teenaged boy-speak mean "Yes, my bros, this is arousing". Going to high school has made me partially bilingual in boy-speak. Those three inched closer and closer until they were basically within smelling range.

She then timidly whispered "Boys, this is cruel. Please let me down before everybody else sees me naked at least!"

I quickly walked up to her as well, partially just to make sure the boys didn't cross any lines or let her down too early. They seemed to keep their hands to themselves on their own, but just thinking about what they COULD have done was starting to fill my own mind with temptations and urges. Her pussy was right there at eye level with the three boys she takes care of having their faces 5 inches away from it. They were looking straight down inside of it, memorizing every detail. I wanted to force her to cum while inches in front of the boys she babysits so badly that I was practically salivating just imagining it. It would be so easy, Leah could never stop me. I wanted to know if I got a girl's pussy super wet while she was hanging upside down if her pussy juices would actually run down her tummy and chest. I imagined making Leah leak so much fluid that her own flavor dripped into her mouth, forcing her to taste herself in front of us all. The shame of that would be unbeatable. My heart was racing, my hand moving forward all on its own like I was being controlled like a puppet. My fingers were only 3 inches from her pussy, and nobody could stop me. I wanted to make her cum so badly, even though that's the ONE LINE I promised myself that I would never cross. I was shaking, trembling, I felt like a drug addict trying to quit cold turkey. Just one hit, just one single hit would take the edge off and I'd never need another one...right? Nothing bad would happen if I did this just once....

NO! I pulled my hand away at the last second. I can't, I can't go that far, especially not with my crew watching. I don't need to give credibility to the rumors about me. I tried to play off my own sex-crazed state by waving at her pussy, which probably just looked cringe. I grabbed my phone and took a bunch of close-up pictures of her anatomy and several pictures showing her face and parts together while she cried hopelessly for me to stop. The boys joined in as well, grabbing a ton of pictures for their own personal collections.

I needed to regain some level of authority here though, so I commanded "Now boys, here's the rule: If you show anyone else these pictures or try to post them online, I'll find out about it, and you'll be next. I'll hang all three of you, dicks flapping, from your school flagpole for all the girls to find. And you'd better not tell anyone about me either, that would be unpleasant for you."

They nervously agreed to my orders, even though it was a total bluff. I didn't have the faintest clue where they lived. I then looked at the naked Leah "And as for you, if you try to tell anyone about what I did to you, then these babies are going all over Pornhub, Reddit, 4chan, and anywhere else that likes naked girls. I'll make sure to identify you by name too, just to make sure that your nudie pictures are the first thing that comes up when somebody Googles your name for the rest of your life. Are we clear?"

Tearfully she nodded. Part of me actually felt bad in the moment based on how destroyed she looked, but the rest of me was too drunk on my own hormones to give a damn. I reclaimed my handcuffs, bungee ties, and jumper cables as we let the naked girl down. In order to give us a clean getaway, and also give myself one last jolt of arousal, I wrapped all of Leah's clothing, shoes and all, into her skirt like it was a hobo sack and then gave it to the most athletic-looking of the boys. I then told him to run and keep it away from her as long as he could.

The boys ran off, with the very naked Leah chasing after them. Running barefoot was unpleasant I'm sure, giving the boys the edge. The sight of her naked butt running away from us was amazing and helped me approach the edge once again. The other boys across the park began to notice the naked girl running after her stolen clothes, and quickly an entire group of them were following after her trying to get a better look at her. Her hands covered her tits and pussy, but that ass was on full display. I knew that she'd never get out of this mess without flashing her bits to the entire horde of boys. As we were heading out, I watched as an SUV parked nearby and let out 4 more teenaged boys and their father. Just imagining the sight they were about to walk in on, and the humiliation Leah would feel as 5 more males of various ages saw her completely naked, was the last little push I needed to reach a second wonderful orgasm. I creamed my poor, helpless, doubled-up panties one last time as we walked away to our car.

The worst day of Leah's life was also one of the best days of mine. I guess that's only natural for an apex predator like me.
Last edited by Executionus on Fri May 14, 2021 1:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
SDS
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:49 pm
Has thanked: 60 times
Been thanked: 452 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by SDS »

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!

I've always been impressed by clever tie up scenarios were the victim is given an impossible task to stop from exposing themselves!

Great build up too! Love the switch around as bullied innocent girls is my main preference.

My only critique is the the nudity was only briefly mentioned I always like a good description of the removed underwear or a quick description of the exposed naughty bits and the victims reaction to them being exposed. ;)

Keep up the great work!

Sds xx
Moderator - So behave!

SDS Story Archive

Image
User avatar
Executionus
Posts: 1087
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:09 am
Has thanked: 730 times
Been thanked: 850 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Executionus »

SDS wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:20 am My only critique is the the nudity was only briefly mentioned I always like a good description of the removed underwear or a quick description of the exposed naughty bits and the victims reaction to them being exposed. ;)
You're probably right on that. I was attempting to focus on Candace's mindset specifically, and she is straight and only gets off on the humiliation acts themselves (the girls are pretty-much placeholders to her). Looking back I agree that the story advanced too quickly at that point. I'll probably edit this tonight and make it better.



I've actually had a bad case of burnout lately (not just here, but in all things). I had the first half of this story done weeks ago but it took forever to get around to writing the end. Most likely I'll be taking a break from stories for a bit.
User avatar
SDS
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:49 pm
Has thanked: 60 times
Been thanked: 452 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by SDS »

Yea the rest of the story is pure gold however! Brilliant set up a scenario!

I hear you I burn out a lot and often rush the endings of my stories! The ending of my babysitter re-write for example I'm not happy with and feels too rushed and will probably redo :D It's what I love about this new board!
Moderator - So behave!

SDS Story Archive

Image
User avatar
Nikolai
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Aug 13, 2020 12:17 pm
Has thanked: 64 times
Been thanked: 180 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Nikolai »

I loved it! Nailed the mindset and clever wording throughout to give it that extra touch. The sweet and cute girl Niagara falls panty line comes to mind lol. I loved your take on it and you've made me realize in how often these girls Candace has chosen in my chapters "deserved" it but rather I should be embracing quiet a few more that don't, (not that any of them REALLY do) loved everything about this and if it could be chosen itd have my vote, maybe thats me being biased though lol. I understand the burnout, in life lately in general even, sometimes writing stories is the last thing on my mind, and this is actually the first time this week I've checked in, hope all is well for everyone, take a well deserved break if needed, I'm trying to find a way out of my slump, much to do!

Very happy to see Candace universe be expanded not once but twice this contest and an enf version was refreshing to see lol (nothing against the enm side just not for me.)
User avatar
Executionus
Posts: 1087
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:09 am
Has thanked: 730 times
Been thanked: 850 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Executionus »

I edited the story between "the big reveal" and "Candace lost in her own fantasy" to flesh that period out much more. That should improve overall pacing and displayed a little more of Candace's surroundings and the others in it. I was originally aiming for a theme of this all being told from Candace's POV after the fact, and therefore while it was going on she was too drunk with lust and afterglow in this moment to pay attention to side characters. In theory it was a good idea, but in practice it just limited everything with no worthwhile payoff.

Nikolai wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 5:45 pm I loved your take on it and you've made me realize in how often these girls Candace has chosen in my chapters "deserved" it but rather I should be embracing quiet a few more that don't, (not that any of them REALLY do)
It's only natural that most innocent girls would avoid Candace like the plague very quickly into her reign of terror, with only the stupid and/or arrogant ones getting anywhere close to her. That would make most of her victims people that didn't fully grasp the doom they were in. I wanted to briefly touch upon the effect Candace's reign was having on local life in her town, with teenage girls fleeing public spaces out of fear of being targeted. Another inevitable outcome I would expect to see in her world would be the rise of at least one counter-gang of girls trying to use numbers to protect each other, never going anywhere without backup, but I'd leave that big of a development for you to work with.


Nikolai wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 5:45 pm I understand the burnout, in life lately in general even, sometimes writing stories is the last thing on my mind, and this is actually the first time this week I've checked in, hope all is well for everyone, take a well deserved break if needed, I'm trying to find a way out of my slump, much to do!

The weird part is that it's the opposite for me. For the last 5ish months I've been using this forum as an escape from the rest of the headache in my life currently post-divorce, mid plague, and lots of other bad shit all going down since the start of 2020. Hell I had to pause the Thirst Games at one point because one of my best friends (and a primary inspiration for Pixie and Slut) lost family right before I was set to write Pixie and Slut's elimination scenes, and that suddenly felt awkward as fuckadoodle. Still, the site has been great for my mental focus and as a creative outlet in a world where I barely see anybody anymore.

And I've mentioned it before, but a huge part of why I find myself more active on a php forum than any of the dreambooks is because of nostalgia. In the early 2000s I amassed tens of thousands of posts per forum, possibly over six figures total, spread across a handful of them during their peak. Php forums were my jam. Doing things here reminds me of those forums, especially my main one where I was a head moderator and the top content creator. The thing is, those sites were seeing many dozens of posts per day, probably over 100 many days. I noticed the other day that my increased activity has put me as the highest overall post count at 275 (as of this post). I'm without doubt that I used to surpass 275 posts in two weeks on my older forums. My attempts to spark activity here haven't accomplished much. We're still monstrously slow and empty. That being said, this place is still relaxing and inspiring usually.


The problem in recent weeks is that it mentally shifted from "stress relief" to "second job" status in my mind around the end of April, and that broke the whole dynamic right off. It's similar to what happened when I was doing Summer Camp of Playville, this time caused by trying to crank out the Thirst Epilogues. When my projects drag on for too long it becomes a chore to finish them, which in and of itself then makes it harder to do so. I also have to neglect too many life chores to force the completion. This mixed with other annoyances in my life kinda burned me out. I'll just shift to something else briefly and reset my mind over time, it's an old trick.
User avatar
SDS
Posts: 363
Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:49 pm
Has thanked: 60 times
Been thanked: 452 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by SDS »

Great ending! The small edit made all the difference xx
Moderator - So behave!

SDS Story Archive

Image
Juncker
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Dec 28, 2020 11:08 am
Has thanked: 2 times
Been thanked: 72 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Juncker »

Wonderfully creative - there must be a market for Goldberg machines made for the sole purpose of stripping poor souls like Leah.
User avatar
Executionus
Posts: 1087
Joined: Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:09 am
Has thanked: 730 times
Been thanked: 850 times
Contact:

Re: Spinoff -- Karma's a Lie (A Lesson in Karma bonus chapter)

Post by Executionus »

Juncker wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 2:11 pm Wonderfully creative - there must be a market for Goldberg machines made for the sole purpose of stripping poor souls like Leah.
This rig barely counts as a Goldberg, but I am tempted now to write up a story featuring a really good one. With dominos, and ping pong balls, and all sorts of crap for 20 minutes until at the end two leather gloves pull down the trapped chick's panties and sparklers go off.
Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests