Why do we do this thing that we do? Casual life doubt or questions !!

[heroBoy]

Why do we do this thing that we do? ... Stories are a form of expressing, making others feel our emotions and many more. Alot of people in this world read and simply have some fun.
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I simply want to understand, is everyone similar to me? Do they write stories to express some sort of feeling that they think is missing in their life?

When I was little, I enjoyed being naked. But I was taught I wasn't supposed to let other people see me like that. Growing up with that duality made me body shy because I believed if other people saw the parts that made me a boy that I would be in trouble. I believe that tension between those two poles eventually led me to be rather repressed as I was unwilling to express myself sexually for a very long time and when I did it was when I was alone. So there was this asexual part of me I showed to the world but this horny part of me that I kept away and my hangups became kinks.

I guess it's an indulgence in fantasy: What if modest me was placed in situations where he was deprived of that modesty? And what if that situation caused a physical reaction he learned he mustn't let others see? And what if he secretly enjoyed it? And what if the person doing this enjoyed it also?

So it's kind of a way to explore those feelings and the things that did and didn't happen to me over my lifetime. Because I don't regret the things that happened to me, but I do regret the times something could have happened to me but I was afraid of the consequences even when the stakes were objectively low.

nice, that is deep. though our reasons are different. i bad faced many humilating situations and that emotion was strong. people put attention on me when that happened. i mean, when i was a kid, i got a lot attention. people called me cute, teased me, gave love even when i did poorly at most things. now, love seems to be transactional unless we have same people loving from childhood. no one from childhood stick with me for long. so, here, i feel the world forgot about loving me and i don't like transactional love where it is all about exchanging..i remember, i used to show hatred to a girl in class for no reason except that she was ugly and i got so much attention for my looks but that girl including every other girl treated me like i was some main character in their life. now the sotry flipped . now girls don't value looks anymore and guys have to put efforts to get their attention. i find it hard simply.

idk, how all this connected within but i feel like whenever i write some story, i simply like it because i love it when someone loves me even when i am not wrothy.

all the lines are not accurate but partial truth. girls do value looks but it is not deciding factor to love anymore is what i meant. and now i am no longer as bad as i was a kid. i treat everyone with respect and i never mean i won't love. i simply tired of this transactional love where they would love me only when j do this or that