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The Bully Girls and Me

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2025 7:44 pm
by EverythingOff
Chapter deleted.

I will come back to this story when I can give it my proper attention. For now, I hope you enjoy what's been posted so far, and I hope you'll also read my other story, "How Jacqui Saw Me Naked," which you can find here: viewtopic.php?t=5494

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Complete 10/5

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:01 pm
by TeenFan
It's great to have new writers here. Awesome first story.
Hopefully there will be many more to cum (since this boy couldn't cum).

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Complete 10/5

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:07 pm
by EverythingOff
TeenFan wrote: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:01 pm It's great to have new writers here. Awesome first story.
Hopefully there will be many more to cum (since this boy couldn't cum).
Thank you. I will admit that the ending felt rushed. I found myself getting confused with the "Jacqui" story, and so I wanted to bring this to a conclusion. I think I'll stick to one story at a time; at least until I find my grounding.

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Complete 10/5

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:25 pm
by Summers
I enjoyed the story and the suspense you created, while also doing it in a way, that drew me in more, rather than made me feel like it was being dragged out for the sake of dragging it out.

I liked the characters and the little world you built.

The ending though... it kind of let it down. As it felt so rushed... after all that build up, and good writing and story telling... it just goes for 0-100 is a few paragraphs, and we end up with the MC loving it and wishing it happened sooner, and him basically getting a GF...

Still and overal good story, and you have obvious talent for writing, but the ending was a bit of a let down.

Then again, that's an issue with most stories it seems, and even tv shows and movies.

I think Stephen King is pretty widely regarded as a great writer, but has mixed reactions to the endings of a lot of his stories.

I have struggled myself with my few stories i have done... which i think is a grand total of 3 (well 3 i have ever released, i have loads with no endings lol)... one of which is on here... one unfinished somewhere else... and another completely finished somewhere else.

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Complete 10/5

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:47 pm
by EverythingOff
Summers wrote: Mon Oct 06, 2025 5:25 pm The ending though... it kind of let it down. As it felt so rushed... after all that build up, and good writing and story telling... it just goes for 0-100 is a few paragraphs, and we end up with the MC loving it and wishing it happened sooner, and him basically getting a GF...
Yeah. I agree 100%. It was absolutely rushed. I was working on two stories at the same time, and there was too much overlap, and I was getting confused. So I just wanted to conclude the "bullies" story, and so I rushed the end. I won't do it again, though. I think for now, I'll just focus on one story at a time.

I hope you've been enjoying my "Jacqui" story. That one will take longer to develop, and I know I won't be rushing the ending on that one.

I guess, bottom line, I apologize for the premature climax, as it were, and I'll be sure to take my time going forward.

For posterity on the site, I decided to delete the final chapter of the "Bullies" story and just come back to it in the future when I can give it proper attention.

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Updated 9/29

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2025 6:48 pm
by NudeBaG
Take your time.
You’re a great writer.
Give this awesome story an ending you’re proud of.
But don’t be too harsh on yourself

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Updated 9/29

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2025 6:43 pm
by NudeBaG
Bumping just so it doesn’t get buried 😉

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Updated 9/29

Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2025 9:32 pm
by NudeBaG
Bump bump

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Updated 9/29

Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2025 6:31 pm
by NudeBaG
Bump

Re: The Bully Girls and Me_Updated 9/29

Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2025 6:49 pm
by EverythingOff
I appreciate it. I don't think I'll return to this story for a bit, due to the similarity of the characters to to the Jacqui story. So I'll probably focus on that one for a bit (for which, by the way, I just finished writing the next chapter, "Sprinkler Games." I'll plan to post it in the next couple of days.)

It's almost like it's the same characters in both stories in many ways. But the characters in the Jacqui story are toying with him in a friendly way, whereas in this story, they're toying with him in more of a cruel way.

Also complicating things for myself in having started both stories at the same time is that the protagonist in the Bullies story is Jimmy, and in the Jacqui story is James. So I start to get a little confused.

But believe me. I really appreciate how much you like my writing and it is very inspiring to receive your likes and comments. So I hope you'll just hang in there for the long haul. :)