Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

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Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

My name is Luke Seymour, and I'm a Jedi.

I think. At least, that's what I'm calling myself. It started with my reflexes, where I started out kind of clumsy, and then I got better and better until I could practically see one second into the future. I've gotten so good at ping pong, my dad refuses to play against me. Okay, you don't know him, but if you did, you'd be impressed.

Some of my mental senses have increased too, where I can tell what people are feeling, if they're lying to me, and even if there's anyone at home as soon as I walk in the door. That was … interesting, but it didn't get really good until I learned to move things with my mind.

It tells you something about myself that I would even try telekinesis, but I did, and it was amazing. I was watching TV with my sister, she left the remote on the coffee table and walked away, I was too lazy to get up, and my life has never been the same since.

It flew into my hand and nearly hit me in the face, and I completely lost interest in what I was watching. After that, I started practicing. Pushing and pulling on objects was the easiest, but making objects float or turning off a light switch from across the room was more difficult. I never told anyone about my Jedi powers, but I'll never forget the first time I used them in public.

I was riding home from school on the bus, and there was a total babe sitting next to me. We didn't know each other that well. I think her name was either Jennifer or Jessica (I'm going with Jessica), and I was some quiet kid with glasses. The seat next to me was empty and I wasn't the sort who would bother her by talking to her, so she spent the entire ride home chatting with one of her friends on the other side of the aisle.

I spent the whole time glancing discreetly at her butt. Well, I thought I was being discreet, at least, and no one else seemed to remember that I existed, so we got along fine. She was wearing yoga pants, jet black, and so tight they might have been painted on her. I remember how hypnotically her butt cheeks would press against the seat whenever she shifted position.

Then we got to her stop, and, well, I wasn't exactly thinking straight. Or at all. She was walking down the aisle, her butt waving goodbye as it tilted to the right and left and gave a jiggle with each step, and I reached out with the Force. From ten feet away, I grabbed onto the waist of her yoga pants, stretched it back, and let go. SNAP! Like a rubber band.

"Ow!" Jessica spun around, glaring at whoever might have done the deed, but the two people within reach looked equally innocent. She scowled at them both, and kept walking.

A few feet later, I reached out again. Instead of pulling her pants back, I pulled them down, yanking them down to her knees, revealing her matching black thong to half the bus.

She let out a yelp and fell forward, tripping over her pants. Now, I'm not a mean guy. Like I said, I'm a Jedi, not a Sith, and while I wanted to get a better view of her butt, I didn't want her to get hurt, so I reached out a third time.

I wanted to catch her before she hit the ground, and in retrospect the best place to grab her would have been her shoulders or something, but I was still staring at her almost entirely exposed butt, so I used the Force to latch onto her thong. I didn't want to give her a wedgie (like I said, not a Sith), so instead of pulling straight back or up, I pulled down first until the thong was an inch down her thighs, then I pulled back.

I don't know if that was at all helpful because she managed to catch herself by grabbing onto the seats in front of her, but the back half of the bus perceived the performance of her perfect posterior, and the front half viewed the vibrant vision of her vivacious … actually, they were all looking ahead or out the window, so no, they didn't view anything. And it took Jessica all of half a second to steady herself, yank her pants back up her slender legs (giving her a bit of that wedgie I had wanted to avoid), and she darted out the bus onto the street without even looking back.

Once more, I'm a Jedi, not a Sith, but if I was to ever make a first step to the Dark Side, I have to say, that was it.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

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After I got used to telekinesis, I tried developing my other powers. You know that part in the first Star Wars movie when Obi-Wan is like, "These aren't the droids you're looking for," and the Storm Troopers let them go? Yeah, I thought I could have a lot of fun with that.

I walked into my brother's room and found him lying on his bed reading a book. "Hey, Matt," I said. "Can I have one of your Butterfingers?"

For some background, my brother loves his Butterfingers. He eats them slowly, nibbling them molecule by molecule, and a king sized candy bar can last him centuries. And if he catches you trying to steal one, he WILL rip your arms off trying to take it back.

"No," he said, glancing up from his book to make sure I wasn't going to try something.

That was, of course, what I expected. Now to see if I could change his mind. "You want to give me a Butterfinger," I said, waving my hand mystically and speaking in my best Jedi voice.

He smiled and waved his hand back. "You don't want a Butterfingers," he said, mimicking me. True. I'm more of a Snickers man myself, I just wanted to see if I could do the Jedi Mind Trick. "You want to go away and leave me to my book," he added.

I closed the door behind me, feeling disappointed. But why should it work on the first try? Sure, Rey did it, but it took Luke Skywalker three movies to get it down, and even then it wouldn't work on everyone.

I spent some time practicing after that. I even tried meditating, which, according to The Empire Strikes Back, involves standing on your head and making rocks float. Over time I got better at it. I managed to get my sister, Rachel, to stand on her head … then I realized she was wearing a skirt, so, that was awkward. More importantly, I managed to get Matt to give me one of his Butterfingers, and if I can do that, I can do anything.

Some time later at school, I tried anything. I remember it was English class, and I couldn't find my pen. Had I dropped it in the hallway? I had it in my last class. I turned to a girl named Sara sitting next to me. Sara was pretty, blonde, and wore a lot of makeup. It wasn't a tacky, layer of paint look, but more like she dolled herself up for a night on the town and went to school on accident.

"Hey, Sara," I said. "Could I borrow a pen?" She had, like, twenty of them, all different colors for what I assume was an intricately complex note-taking system.

She glanced at me. "No, you might chew on it."

Okay, some kids will chew on anything when they're nervous, but not me. When I was younger I would sometimes scratch the paint off my pencils, but you can't do that with a pen, so her suspicion was entirely unfounded.

So I decided to use the Force. "You want to lend me a pen," I said, waving my hand Jedi-style. The hand wave wasn't necessary, but I did it anyway. That way, if it didn't work I could play it off as a joke.

"I want to lend you a pen," Sara decided, handing me one. Nice.

Class started, and my teacher, Mrs. Sanchez, started her lecture. Mrs. Sanchez was possibly the hottest teacher I've ever had in the history of my formal education. She had wavy black hair, tan skin, slender legs, and knowing eyes behind her glasses. Unfortunately, she was cursed with one terrible flaw: an intense, relentless love of all things related to Jane Austin. We were studying Pride and Prejudice at the time, and if you've ever read it, you'll understand why it's a leading cause of suicide among teenaged boys. It killed five kids in my class alone, and I only survived by slamming my head into a wall until I fell unconscious.

Fortunately, as long as we were in class, I had my hot teacher to distract me from the horrible English romance novel. I made a show of taking notes as she talked, all the while imagining her unbuttoning her tight white blouse in front of the entire class. She didn't, of course, so I decided to help her out.

I reached out with the Force and carefully undid her top button. I don't think anyone noticed, not yet at least, but I still waited a full minute before the next button. I got to see the gentle swell of her breasts, and after the third Sanchez started showing some cleavage. With the fourth her bra came into view, and her navel came with the sixth. After seven buttons, her blouse was entirely open before the class.

I had to reach out with the Force to affect her mind as well, dampening her senses and faculties so she wouldn't notice her blouse unbuttoning herself or her class growing a sudden, enthralled interest for English literature. As for why no one in the class pointed out her situation, well, I wish I could say I was strong enough to quiet that many people, but really it was because whoever pointed out Sanchez's wardrobe malfunction would both embarrass a teacher we all liked, and get beat up after class by horny students who had their show interrupted.

Meanwhile, I was watching her round breasts held up by her black bra, trying to figure out how to undo that too (bras are impossible, even for a Jedi) or do something about her pencil skirt when the bell rang, breaking my concentration.

"Read up to chapter twenty before next class," Sanchez said as some of the students reluctantly (for the first time ever) got ready to leave. "Pay attention to the parallel character arcs of—eek!" She finally realized her blouse was hanging open and pulled it closed. "Why didn't anyone say anything? This never happened, okay? This never leaves the room!"

She was blushing as she rebuttoned her blouse, but she wasn't angry. Besides being embarrassed, I'd have to say that she was amused.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

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"Can I get my pen back?"

I looked up from the books I was gathering up at Sara. Now, due to my love of all things Star Wars, you might think that I'm a colossal geek. That's not true. I tend to keep to myself when I'm not practicing the Jedi arts, but I am one smooth Jedi when it comes to talking to girls.

"Huh?"

I was, however, distracted after partially stripping my smoking hot English teacher.

"My pen," she said again, letting her irritation show. "You know, the one you borrowed from me before class?"

Oh. Right. Still, I needed something to write with for the rest of the day. I could use the Force to command someone in the rest of my classes to lend me a pen, but the more I used my powers the greater chance there was that I would run into someone who could resist my Jedi mind trick. I did the usual Jedi hand wave. "You want to let me keep this pen."

She rolled her eyes. "You know what? Keep it. Now that you've touched it, I don't even want it back."

What? Did I have a terrible case of leprosy that no one told me about? That was just hurtful. I took HER pen that she had so graciously given me and I wrote down my phone number on a scrap of paper.

"What's this?" she asked after I handed it to her.

"It's my phone number," I said. "You want to send me nudes." Worst case scenario? I get labeled as a surprisingly bold pervert, which, compared to my current reputation, might actually be a step up among the right crowd. Best case scenario?

"I kind of want to send you nudes right now," Sara muttered to herself.

As soon as I came to my senses, I was stunned speechless that my command had worked. But why should it? I had gotten Matt to give me his Butterfingers, and asking a pretty girl for naked pictures of herself wasn't that much bigger a request. And even if it was, size matters not. That's what Master Yoda told me, and he remains the galaxy's wisest muppet.

My heart skipped a beat a few minutes later when my my phone gave a buzz. Then a second buzz. Had it worked? I was worried that the Jedi mind trick would wear off after she left the room, but I hadn't trained with the Force long enough to know. It took all of my self control to keep from whipping out my phone and checking it out in the middle of the hallway. Most people ignored me, but guys can see pictures of naked girls with their eyes closed.

My next period was lunch, and as soon as I got to my table I fished my phone out of my pocket. Sure enough, there were exactly two pictures of Sara, grinning ear to ear and butt naked. It looked like she had taken the pictures in the bathroom stall, and she was holding a bundle of clothes in her free hand.

The first one was a profile. She smiled at me over her own shoulder, and the curve of her arching back matched the swell of her breasts, capped by small, pink nipples. The picture was cropped right at the top of her buttocks.

The next was a full frontal. She stood relaxed, resting her weight on one leg, accentuating the curves of her hips. Her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders, but not far enough to cover her breasts. This one stopped at about the same place as the first, so I could see a hint of blond pubic hair, but no further.

"What you got there?" Tim said, swooping down next to me at the table. Now, I don't have a whole lot of friends at school, so I sit with a bunch of other people who don't have friends either. We get along by following the unwritten rule of not talking to each other.

Tim broke that rule, but naked pictures supersede all human law. It says so in the Magna Carta, though in truth that was simply admitting something that had been going on for ages already.

I responded as only a Jedi could, by telekinetically throwing a hamburger at him from the next table over. That was the first food fight I ever started in a cafeteria, and thanks to my Jedi reflexes I didn't get hit once.

After lunch ended, I walked into the hallway feeling pretty good about myself.

"Hey, Luke!"

It was Sara. You know how they say that if you want to feel less nervous, just imagine your audience in their underwear? Yeah, that's bullcrap. I was imagining her naked, and it was only making things worse.

'I'veseenyounakedI'veseenyounakedI'veseenyounaked,' I thought. Fortunately, I'm far too smooth a Jedi to say that out loud. "Huh?" I said instead.

She stepped closer to me. "Can I talk to you for a bit?"

I blinked. "Uh?"

Now that I got a better look at her, I realized she looked nervous. She was blushing a bit, well, a lot, and she was having trouble making eye contact. I used to be like that with people all the time, but then I became a Jedi. We control our emotions instead of giving into them. I *meditated.* I even watched some of my mom's yoga videos, and not just for the spandex. I calmed myself and reached out with the Force to touch her mind.

I found out she was terrified. Fear, as Master Yoda once said, is the path to the Dark Side, so it was my job, nay, my DUTY to guide her away from her fear.

I cleared my throat. "I mean, sure. How can I help?"

"Um, we're friends, right? I mean, we sit together in English class, I lent you my pen today …"

"Okay." Was that assuring enough? "Yes." Much better.

"So, you know how you gave me your phone number earlier? Well, I, um, oh this is so humiliating. I think I may have accidentally sent something to that number that, uh, that I didn't mean to."

Oh. So that was what was bothering her. You know, I couldn't help but feel at least a little responsible. "Right," I said. "Um, I thought that was kind of odd." She winced, so I kept talking. "Actually, I get that sort of thing all the time." She winced again. "Besides, you looked great there, so you have nothing to feel bad about." Strike three. I am obligated to remind you that I am great at talking to girls. Most of the time.

"Could you do a favor for me?"

What could she want? Hold on, did she want me to send her nudes too? I had never done that sort of thing before, but it was only fair. "Absolutely. Ask me anything."

"I need you to delete them."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"The pictures I sent you. I need you to delete them from your phone before they wind up on the internet or something."

Hold on. *Could* you delete naked pictures? Normal pictures, sure, but I've never tried to delete a naked pic, and I'm pretty sure the rules are different.

Then I came up with a brilliant idea: lying.

"I already deleted them," I said.

She blinked. "What?"

"I figured you sent them to me on accident, so I deleted them."

"Uh-huh. I'm going to need to check your phone to be sure, okay?"

I waved my hand at her. "You trust that I have deleted the pictures."

Sara let out a sigh. "Oh, that's a relief. I don't know what I'd do if something like that got out. Thanks, Luke. You really are a good friend." With that, she hugged me. In the middle of the hallway, in front of everyone in the school that I had never talked to. Her breasts pressed against me in a way that felt even better than they looked, and she even smelled nice.

She pulled away and left with a slight spring to her step, and some of the other kids stared at me as though speculating at what sort of game I had to be with a pretty girl like her. The answer to that, my friends, is Jedi game, because like I said before, I am one smooth Jedi.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

My last class of the day was gym, and it was my favorite for one obvious reason: gym shorts. In fact, that's why I call it gym instead of P.E., because between the long, bare legs running around, the slight physical exertion, and the way the shorts frame a girl's bouncing posterior, that class truly is a gem.

Sorry. That's the last pun I'm making today, I promise.

And it wasn't just the girls, either. The gym teacher, Ms. Forester, was top tier herself. She wasn't as elegant as Mrs. Sanchez, but she made up for it with her greater physical presence, which is a polite way of saying that she had big boobs. She had large breasts, toned legs, dirty blond hair tied back in a pony tail, and she wanted the school day to end as much as we did.

"Alright, class!" she said after taking attendance. "Form up! Jumping jacks, go!"

We spread out and watched Forester lead us on the warm-up. Up and down, up and down. I can think of two reasons why she did jumping jacks in front of us every day. One, that she was completely unaware of the effect her bouncing breasts were having on a group of teenagers, or two, that she enjoyed the attention. I touched her mind with the Force to find out, and realized that it was mostly the second. The boys gawked at the hypnotic rhythm as her breast strained against her sports bra, and the girls felt small and inadequate by comparison. It wasn't a matter of arousal, not really, but it did amuse her.

Well, if she liked showing off so much, then it was only fair that it should amuse the rest of us too. I untied the drawstring of her shorts as we jumped, and with the last jumping jack they fell to her ankles. Some of the class gasped, but the sound was muffled by our slightly strained, post warm-up breathing.

Except for Raymond. He was standing at the front and had the best view, and he started giggling uncontrollably.

"Now two laps around the …" Forester's voice trailed off as she looked at Raymond, whom everyone in the class was trying to shut up. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he forced out. He tried to stop laughing, which only made him laugh harder. Just like how I was using the Force to keep Forester from noticing the gym shorts that she had walked out of, leaving her standing in her stretchy black panties, I suppressed Raymond's emotions to help him sober up. "Nothing. I'm good. I am …" he made a less than discrete look up and down "… real good."

She rolled her eyes and moved on. "Three laps around the gym. Go."

We started off at a jog, as as some of the more sociable kids congregated into a group, I overheard them orchestrating the plan.

"Okay," one of them said. "No one says anything, got it? No one even looks at her different. I don't know how she managed to miss it, but if she goes the whole class without noticing, we can get pictures afterwards." The ringleader shot Raymond a hard look. "Got it?"

"Sure, sure," Raymond said, grinning. "I'll be quiet. It's just, this is like English class all over again."

I smiled. That it was. I had gotten Sanchez nearly topless, and now Forester was nearly bottomless. But hold on. Raymond wasn't even in my English class. Right. Word travels fast in this school, and no one wanted to be left out of a story like that. By this time next week, kids in rival schools will have claimed to have seen Forester's display first hand. That meant that I could strip people in every class of the day, and the distorted rumors would prevent anyone from tracking me down.

On my second lap, however, I noticed Forester bend over and pick up her shorts. Dang it! I reached out with the Force and pressed against her mind harder. She stared at her shorts, trying to figure out where she had seen them before and where they had come form. Then she shrugged, walked into her office, and left them in the lost and found.

After that, we split up into groups. There were four nets set up in the gym, two for volleyball and two for badminton. I think badminton is supposed to be played with two or four people like tennis, but we were really bad at it so we had six one a team. Really, the only difference between that and volleyball were the rackets and the shuttlecocks. Shuttlecock, by the way, is a terrible word to say with a straight face, and I haven't known anyone to do it successfully.

Every few minutes we changed positions to shake things up. You might start out serving, then you'd be in the front by the net, then you'd be on the other team, then you'd be playing the other sport. Forester patrolled the gym, making sure that we knew what we were doing and were behaving ourselves, all the while showing off her underwear.

And let me tell you, that was driving me nuts. I had seen Jenifer's naked bottom back, Sara's naked top front, so if I could just see someone's naked bottom front, my life would be complete. But how was I supposed to get her panties off? They were too tight to come off naturally, or at least to appear naturally. I could Force command someone to pull them down in front of everyone, though that would get that person suspended at least. It would definitely be for the greater good, but I wasn't sure it was the Jedi way.

In the mean time, I amused myself with the rest of the class. Whitney, one of the girls I vaguely knew, spiked a volley ball right at me. With my Jedi reflexes, I could have returned it. Heck, I could have covered for my entire team single handedly if I wanted to show off, but being the humble, charitable Jedi that I am, I'd rather show off others.

The ball flew past me, hitting the floor, but while Whitney was in mid air, I untied her shorts just like I did with the teacher. When she landed, the momentum sent her shorts down to her ankles. Her team may have scored the point, but in a way we all won. Except for her.

She screamed and pulled her shorts back up to her waist, blushing furiously. "Learn to tie a knot!" Forester snapped, passing by. "That way your shorts might stay up."

"You're one to talk!" Whitney yelled back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Wisely, Whitney backed down. She had exposed her panties (hot pink, by the way) for half a second, while Forester had been exposing hers for half the class and still going. "Nothing. Sorry, Ms. Forester."

Foreste smirked, pleased to have put an already embarrassed girl down even further, still oblivious to her own exposure. After that, I pantsed more girls. Sometimes they were on my team, sometimes they were on the other team. Sometimes they were on the other side of the gym, just so I wouldn't arouse suspicion. I guess I was hoping that someone in my gym class had gone commando that day, but no such luck. It was, however, a *fantastic* day for panty shots.

At the end of class, we all went to the locker rooms to change clothes, and most of us came back with our phones ready to take a picture of our teacher. By then, we had actually gotten used to her state, and her shorts didn't cover that much more than her panties did. In fact, she looked kind of like this https://www.dhgate.com/store/product/wo ... 77496.html, only with a shirt and a ponytail, but while it wasn't as sexy and exciting as it had been in the beginning of class, it was still kind of funny.

It was at that moment with everyone slowly walking towards the exit with their phones discretely pointed toward the half-dressed gym teacher when I made my move. "Hey, Ms. Forester, can I talk to you?"

She turned to me. "What is it?"

I felt my class watching me hard. Was I going to ruin this? Of course, a picture of someone obliviously undressed was funny, but catching the moment on film when she *realized* how exposed she was could be hilarious.

But I had more than that in mind. When I was within arm's reach with her facing the crowd behind me, I fell to my knees, grabbed the waistband of her panties, and yanked them down to her ankles.

And that was it. I had seen butts, I had seen breasts, and now, I had seen pussy. My classmates cheered, my teacher screamed, and I was close enough to bury my face in it.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

Forester yanked her panties so hard up her legs she gave herself a camel toe, which was nothing compared to what I had just revealed to the class. "Luke Seymour!" she snarled. "My office, right now!"

The rest of my classmates, who had just cheered me own, scurried out the door before the teacher could realize how many of them might have gotten a picture of her goods. She was, at the moment, distracted by yanking me *by my ear* into her office. I didn't resist, but it still hurt like she was trying to rip it off. Seriously, what did I ever do to her?

Oh, right. I showed her vagina to a bunch of horny teenagers. Still, couldn't she take a joke?

"What the %*^& were you thinking?" she demanded. "The principle will hear of this, and you'll be expelled if I have anything to say about it."

That was the first time I had ever heard her swear. It was also the first time I had ever gotten a good look at her privates, so it was a day for firsts all around.

More importantly, we were now alone, without the rest of the class watching us. I had to be discrete with my powers when I had an audience, but now I was free and unhindered. "You're aware that you're not wearing any shorts, right?" I said.

"What?" She looked down, and shock crossed her face.

"You've been walking around in your panties for pretty much the entire class. You've put on quite the show."

"I have?" She was still to angry to be that embarrassed. "Well, that doesn't excuse what you did, young man. You have no idea what sort of trouble you're in."

There was a small security camera on the ceiling, and with the teacher still in her panties, I couldn't allow that. I clenched my fist to Force Choke the device until the little red light went out. "You should let me off with a warning," I said, waving my hand at her. If the Jedi mind trick didn't work, then I was a dead man walking, but I was able to keep her from noticing her shorts for the past half hour, so I wasn't too worried.

She sighed. "Well, this is your first offense, so I'll let you off with a warning. A month of detention is more than fair. I'm still angry with you."

I gawked. A month? What sort of warning was that? Besides, if she was angry, then anger led to hate which led to suffering, and my duty as a Jedi was coming back to me. "You're not angry," I told her. "In fact, you're amused."

"I guess it was kind of funny if you think about it," she said to herself.

"And you enjoyed it," I added for extra measure.

"It did kind of turn me on," she admitted, smiling.

I blinked. "What? I mean, yes. You liked having us see you like that."

She gave me a look that no one had ever given me ever. "Would you like to see more?"

I realized, at that moment, that the situation and gotten away from me, and that I needed to put a stop to this before it got any more out of hand. "Yes."

Well, I tried.

She stood up and pushed her panties down her legs, giving me an unobstructed view of her womanhood. It looked soft and inviting, with a layer of trimmed girl fur around it. I leaned in for a closer look, but I didn't touch it, of course. It would have been like poking a time bomb. Instead I put my hands on her hips and squeezed her soft, but firm, butt cheeks.

Then I grabbed the hemline of her shirt and lifted it upward, exposing her sports bra and pulling it over her head. She smiled at me. "Well, I did invite you to look."

I swallowed. "Can you teach me how to undo a bra strap?"

She laughed. "I am your teacher, aren't I?" She turned around and walked me through it. I did it again and again until I could do it from behind, from in front, blindfolded, or, more practically, with the Force from across the room.

And then she was naked. "We should take some pictures," I decided, and she agreed. I took some pictures of her, then we took some of us together. I stood behind her squeezing her breasts in one, and in another she was lying over me knee with her butt in the air as through ready to be spanked. We used my phone, but she took the pictures so there could be no question that she was in on it.

After that, we took a shower together. Since it was the last class of the day, most of us had skipped the shower if only to get back out before Forester realized her shorts were gone. By now, everyone had left so we had the lockers to ourselves.

I didn't have sex with her. Even then, was pretty sure that was the path to the Dark Side, though I nearly came when she playfully squeezed my dick. I still remember how smooth her skin was, wet and covered with soap, with her full breasts pressed against my back. I'm not sure how long we spent in the shower together, but it was long enough for me to realize something important.

"You know," I said finally, "I think I might have missed my bus."

She laughed. "I think you did."

"Could you give me a ride home?"

She laughed again. "I think I can do that for you. Just let me get dressed and I'll take you to my car."

We started to towel ourselves dry when I said, "Actually, I have a better idea. I'll get dressed, but you'll stay naked."

She, of course, agreed. I got dressed and led my naked teacher by the hand out into the hallway, using my enhanced Jedi senses to steer clear of anyone still in the school. I also broke at least five more cameras before we made it outside.

Forester spent the whole time giggling more like a school girl than a school teacher, worried that someone might see her, but no one did. Once in the parking lot, we saw the marching band practicing in the distance, but if they saw us at all they weren't close enough to notice anything strange. We got into her car and she drove off naked toward my home.

Even with the relative privacy of her car, we had a few more close calls. When we were stuck behind a red light, the car in the next lane over got a good long look at her naked body, but I don't think he even noticed her face. Other than that, we got to my house without incident.

"Hey, Luke?" my teacher said before I got out. "What happened today … let's keep it between us, okay?"

"Sure," I agreed. We sealed the deal with a kiss, and I squeezed her breast again for good luck.

We never talked about what we did together after that or repeated it, but whenever she saw me in gym or anywhere else, she would look at me and smile.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

Just in case you've never showed your teacher's cooch to the rest of your class, let me tell you something: it makes you popular over night. By the time I went back to school the next morning, everyone knew about it. Well, the students did at least. The teachers assumed that since I hadn't been skinned alive, it was just a silly rumor, but by lunchtime my arm was sore from all the high-fives.

Speaking of lunchtime, I started sitting with the cool kids. I always thought it was a myth, but the cool kids do in fact have their own table. It's just like any other table, but the people sitting there are better looking.

Of course, just because I sat there didn't mean I fit in. There was always the nagging fear in the back of my mind that I was a single misspoken word away from revealing that what had happened in gym class was a fluke, and I was a fraud and just as much a loser and a geek as I had ever been.

"Ah, dang it!" Chelsea said, sitting across from me. "My bra came undone again."

Fortunately, I could always cause a timely distraction.

"Again?" Britney said. "That's, like, the third time in the past five minutes."

Okay, I'll admit it. I trust the Force more than anything that might come out of my mouth, and the conversations we were having were getting intense.

"I know, right?" Chelsea said. "I swear the thing is broke or something. I'm going to just throw it way." With that, she reached down her shirt and pulled out her bra. Yes, that's right. The cool kids' table is a place were girls take their bras off without warning. She looked down at her blouse. "I'm not poking out, am I?"

"It doesn't look like it," Chad said. He played basketball, and he was twice as tall as everyone else at the table. "You should jump up and down a bit to make sure."

Chelsea sneered at him and threw her bra at his face. He caught it and waved it around like a trophy.

"Ugh, you are such a dork!" she said.

He laughed. "Hey, is everyone coming to the party Friday?"

Party?

"Will there be food there?" Delvin said. He played football. He was something called a "quarterback," which from what I understood had something to do with seeing how many girls in miniskirts he could balance on his shoulders.

Chad rolled his eyes. "Delvin my man, there will be *girls* there. Hot ones, in tiny bikini's in my swimming pool."

A *pool* party?

"You don't know that," Chelsea said. "There's no dress code."

"Yeah," Chad said. "They might go skinny dipping instead. I won't complain."

Delvin waited patiently.

Chad sighed. "And yes, there will be food."

"I'm coming."

"How about you, Pantser?" Chad asked me. Most of the cool kids called me Pantser because I was known for pantsing my teacher, and they didn't really know what my name was. "And if you ask about the food, you're not invited."

Pool party? Girls in bikinis that were just a few loose knots away from being naked? Possibly skinny dipping? "I'm in," I said. "Where is it?"

Chad's house was close enough to walk to, which was great because I didn't really want to tell my parents that I was going to a pool party (they'd be worried about underaged drinking), and I had no idea how to convince them that I was even invited.

When I got there, it was every bit the paradise Chad had promised. There were swimsuits of every color of the rainbow, thong bikini's, micro bikinis, strapless bikinis, string bikinis, it was *incredible.* There were guys there too, I assume, and probably food. A barbecue, maybe? A cooler full of drinks? Chips? I don't know. You'd have to ask Delvin. As for me, I wasn't there for the food, or even to gawk at the wet, half naked girls in swimsuits.

I was there to protect my title.

I was one of the cool kids now, not because I was funny, athletic, or good looking, but for one reason and one alone: I had stripped Ms. Forester in front of everyone. If I wanted my notoriety to last longer than fifteen minutes, then I had to do something more than ride my own wave.

In short, I had to strip someone else. I could use the force to untie a few knots, but that wouldn't be enough. I had to be seen being directly responsible for someone getting naked.

"Hey, you're Diana, right?" I said to my first target.

Diana was tall and tan, with dark brown hair and an easy smile. "And you're that kid who pantsed the gym teacher, right? What was your name again? I just know you as Pantser."

"Luke."

"Right. I'll try to remember that. So, how did you not get expelled?"

"It was my first offense so she went easy on me and only gave me a month of detention." I doubted that anyone would believe me if I told them that we had ended up getting to third base instead. Besides, Forester had asked me to keep that quiet. "It was still worth it."

She laughed. "I bet."

"By the way, aren't you on the girls' basketball team?" I knew she was. She was the only reason I had ever watched a game.

She laughed again. "Yeah, you could say that."

I looked back at the pool. There was one of those plastic hoops on the edge of it, and a few balls floating in the water. "Could I interest you in a game?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Seriously?"

"We'll make it interesting," I said, using the Force. "Strip horse."

She blinked, then laughed. "Well, if you want an excuse to show off your little willy, then I'm happy to take you down."

We got in the pool, and one of the girls, Amy, announced the match. "Diana and … what was your name again?"

"Luke." One way or another, by the end of the party, people were going to know my name.

"Diana and Luke are playing a game of STRIP HORSE!"

I expected the guys to cheer, because Diana had a pretty incredible body, but most of the people just laughed.

"Horse has way too many letters for this game!" someone yelled out.

"They might get to the O."

"Why? You think he's wearing layers?"

Well, that was kind of mean. Still, if I didn't know I was a Jedi, I wouldn't have bet on myself either.

Diana took the first shot, a simple straight forward one to get started. It swished, of course, but so did mine. I may have used the Force just to be safe, but no one seemed to notice if my shots followed a weird trajectory.

We played for a few minutes, taking harder and harder shots, but neither of us missed. I think Diana was starting to get surprised at how good I was, considering that I was never on the team. Then, to get a move on, I pushed her shot off course just enough to bounce off the rim.

She gasped, and the crowd let out an "Oooh!"

"That doesn't count!" she said. "I have to redo that."

"It only counts if I can make a shot you miss," I said.

"Right," she said. "There's no way you're going to make that one."

I swam over to her spot, in the deep end where my feet couldn't even reach the bottom, and threw the ball. SWISH!

*Now* the crowd cheered, and Diana's face turned red.

"Hey, it looks like you got an H," I said cheerfully.

"I hate you!"

"So what will it be?" I asked, ignoring her. "Top or bottom?"

She glared at me, then pulled down her bikini bottoms and tossed them onto one of the pool chairs. "Anyone who touches that is dead!"

It made sense that she would start with her bottoms. As long as we were in the water, no one could see anything below her breasts. That's why on my next turn to pick a shot, I climbed out of the pool and threw from the diving board.

"I hate you!" Diana yelled. "I hate you so much!"

Still, the crowd laughed, and she had to get out of the water. Let me tell you, that girl's legs went up *forever.* Maybe it was just an optical illusion because she was bottomless, but her legs looked taller than she was. She climbed out of the pool, water dripping from her naked skin, and the people cheered and whistled. She kept a hand cupped over her womanhood, but her butt was entirely exposed. When she made it to the diving board, she realized that she would need two hands, forcing her to reveal herself to the crowd. She made the shot …

… and she missed. I figured I'd be nice to her and get it over with quickly. She looked in horror as the ball bounced off the rim a second time, and the crowd cheered and began to chant. "STRIP! STRIP! STRIP!"

She realized that she was showing everyone her muff and dove back into the water, but she still had to strip. She sunk down as far as she could without drowning herself, took off her top, and tossed it over to the chair with her bottoms. "So, what do I have to do to get dressed again?"

We hadn't decided that before hand, and I didn't know which rules we were using. In some versions, the loser lost her clothes for life, in others she had to do a forfeit. Since I was a Jedi, I decided to err on the side of magnanimity.

I jumped back in the water and she sank down, clutching her breasts. "I'll let you get dressed again," I said, "right after you give me a naked hug."

"Boo!" someone yelled out. "Keep her naked!"

I ignored them. "Serious?" Diana asked.

I nodded, eager to get to … was this second or third base? I'll have to check. Anyway, eager to get there with an audience this time.

Still low in the water, Diana swooped in, and before I got more than a glimpse of her breasts, she wrapped her arms around me and pressed those breasts against my chest. I squeezed her tight and my arms drifted downward until I was able to squeeze her butt.

"Okay," she said abruptly, pushing me way. "That's enough. Hey, Amy! Toss me my suit, will you?"

Should I have asked for more? Well, it was too late now. Diana took her bikini back, sank underwater in the deep end, and didn't come back up to the surface until her top and bottom were securely fastened.

She got out of the pool after that, eager to put the experience behind her. I, meanwhile, stayed in the water, savoring the memory. And waiting for my erection to die down so no one would see the tent in m trunks. But mostly, to savor the memory.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

After my lightsaber stopped poking out in my trunks, I got out of the pool and started looking for my next gig. There were surprisingly few people in the pool, despite it being a pool party, but I got the impression that the girls just wanted an excuse to show off their bikini bodies but didn't want to get their hair wet.

As for me, I didn't technically have to strip anyone else, at least as directly and as obviously as I did Diana, but it couldn't hurt. People were getting to know me for the first time, and I wanted to give them something to remember. And if my experience was anything to go by, people remembered you after you stripped them naked.

I saw some people playing games and I went over to investigate.

They stood in a circle with someone in the middle wearing a blindfold. He spun around and then groped around dizzily until he ran into someone, and then he started feeling her face. I didn't recognize the girl he was touching, but her thong bikini made her look naked from behind and that behind looked amazing. I guessed that he was trying to figure out who she was by touch instead of sight. Then his hands shot lower and he grabbed her breasts, making her scream.

"Ah ha!" he said. "I'd recognize those tities anywhere! Renee!"

Renee punched him in the chest as he took off his blindfold. "You're such a retard, Jeff. If I get you, I'm going to figure out who you are by kneeing you in the crotch."

He laughed, and handed her the blindfold as she took his place in the middle.

I approached them. "Hey, can I play?" I asked.

"Sure," Jeff said, inviting me into the circle. "Just be quiet and let her try to figure out who you are if she touches you."

In the center of the circle, Renee spun around until she lost track of where everyone was. She stumbled forward reaching out to touch us, and I used the Force to nudge her my way. Her hand brushed against my shoulder then up my head before feeling my face. This close to me, I had a front row seat to her bikini-covered breast. I could have stuck my whole finger between them and her pink top without touching anything.

"Hmm, I can tell you're a boy," she said, mostly to herself. "You're not Jeff, fortunately for you."

"He should be so lucky," Jeff said next to me.

"Wait, I know!" Renee said, still holding my head in her hands. "You're that new kid who pantsed the gym teacher."

Really? That was it? I had done a lot more than that. I had stripped Diana just a few minutes ago.

"What's your name again? Peter? Peter Pan … ster?"

I didn't want to be that guy who did that thing that one time. I wanted to by the guy who does lots of things all the time. I reached around her and felt for the string that tied her top on. That was just for show; I'm not nimble enough to untie a knot like that with my fingers, so I untied it with the Force. Her top slipped off of her without her noticing, and the rest of the circle held back giggles.

"Paul?" Renee asked. "Patrick? I know it starts with a P." If I leaned forward, my chest would brush against her nipples.

"It starts with an L," I said. I moved my hands down to her hips and did the same thing to her bottoms. She now stood in front of us completely naked, blindfolded, and oblivious to everything.

"… Levi?" she guessed.

I tossed her top and bottom to someone named Jason at the other side of the circle, who grinned at me. "My name," I said, "is Luke."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" Renee demanded. She sighed and pulled off her blindfold. "Oh well. I still knew who you were even if I …" She looked down at her exposed breasts. "Aah! What the hell, guys? Who did that?" She glared at me and crossed one arm across her breasts and the other between her legs.

I held my hands up innocently. "I don't have them."

"Yeah, me neither," Jason said, waving her suit in the air. "I just got this entirely unrelated bikini. Wait, it's not yours, is it?"

Renee spun around, letting me see her butt, which looked pretty much the same as it was when she was wearing a thong. "You creep! Give that back, right now!"

"Sure, here you go." He held out his hand, forcing Renee to expose her breasts to take it back, but he pulled it away at the last second. "Here, take it. Whoops! It's over here now. Now it's here. There it goes!"

He through it over her head, right back at me. Seriously? That was one of the basic rules of Keep Away: no throwbacks! Everyone deserved to be the target of aggression. I've been the victim of that game long enough to know *that.* Of course, it was hard to tell who was and was not playing, and he wouldn't have wanted to toss the bikini to a gentleman on accident who would just give it back.

I caught it, and Renee spun around to face me. She charged, not even bothering to cover, and reached for me with both hands. Right, she was aiming for *me,* not her bikini. I started to throw it, but she tackled me mid-toss, knocking me to the ground. Now, if you've never been tackled by a naked girl, it is a remarkably pleasant experience. There's no unpleasant way to grab her, and Renee had enough curves to give me something to hold onto.

Not that she was in the mood to enjoy the moment like I was. She pinned me to the ground, straddling me (another pleasant experience) and searched my hands for her bikini. Finding them empty, she looked around to see where I had thrown it.

No one in the crowd had it, but some of them grinned at her and looked up. "Oh, you dick!" she said, following their gaze. The bikini top and bottom were hanging from the branch of a tree. That wasn't the Force. It wasn't even deliberate. That was just luck.

She got off of me, reached up for one of the dangling strings, and jumped. Her whole body jiggled when she hit the ground, but she landed empty handed.

"Yeah, shake it girl!" a girl named Ashley called out.

Renee jumped twice more, but gained nothing except a growing crowd. She realized that she would either have to ask someone taller than her for help (that didn't seem likely) or climb the tree naked and get it herself. She cursed us, our dogs, and all of our ancestors back to Adam, then began her ascent up the branches. She wasn't a fast climber, pulling herself up slowly, stepping carefully, and being too worried about falling to bother covering up, which gave everyone who wanted it time to grab their phones to take a picture.

But just before she was able to reach her suit, Chad came over and snatched it out of the tree. Such were the advantages of being freakishly tall. "Hey, Renee! I got your bikini back for you! Aren't I the best?"

She glared at him. "Give that back. Give it back right now."

"Sure, I could give it back. Or I could throw it over the fence."

Renee let out a scream and dropped the eight feet to the ground. She started chasing after Chad, who started running, enjoying the sensation of being chased by a naked woman. Then he decided that being caught by one would be pretty fun too, so he let her tackle him—right into the swimming pool.

You know those times when Batman is handcuffed and thrown into a shark tank, then there's a lot of thrashing around and then he climbs back out but it's the shark who's handcuffed? It was like that. There was a frenzy of splashing in the pool, then stillness, then Renee resurfaced wearing her bikini again.

"You are so dead, Chad!" she swore. "And so are you, Levi!"

"It's Luke," I corrected her.

"And so are you, you, and especially you!" she continued, ignoring me.

Delvin looked up from the hamburger he was eating. "Me? What did I do?"

"I don't care, you're dead anyway."

The party was barely getting started, and I had already received a heartfelt death threat. What a fun day.
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

I managed to get a high five from Jeff, Jason, and someone I didn't even know. I felt pretty good about that, but kind of bad about what I had done to Renee. I figured the only thing I could do to make things better would be to strip so many other girls that no one would remember Renee's nudity specifically. It was like in Ender's Game when Petra was angry at Ender for beating her team so soundly after they were friends, but then Ender defeated every other team in the academy so she realized that it wasn't personal, he was just that awesome.

If mass nudity was my objective, then I wouldn't need to do it directly. In fact, it would be better if I did it anonymously. If I stripped everyone, they'd all despise me, but if they were all stripped by mysterious forces and coincidences, well, they couldn't blame me for that, could they?

In fact, it would be best if I targeted the more popular girls here. It's like when a homeless man catches a wall street banker dumpster diving for leftover subs. Then the homeless man doesn't feel so bad about how he gets his dinner. If the top tier, queen bee types ended up naked in front of everyone, the people lower on the social ladder wouldn't feel so bad. In fact, they'd be trend setters.

The problem was I had no idea who was at the top here. Everyone at the party was popular, so if everyone was popular, did that mean that no one was? Or was there a deeper social hierarchy that you'd need a microscope to see?

I looked around, hoping that a clue would fall into my lap. There were people standing and talking, others were lying on the pool chairs, a small group by the sound system were dancing, and still others were in the pool having a chicken fight.

At least, that's what I think it was called, also shoulder wars. Basically a girl was sitting on a guy's shoulders, and they would try to knock other girls off of other guys' shoulders. I watched them play their game as one by one nearly all the the girls lost their tops and two of them lost their bottoms too, but due to my desire to remain anonymous, I will not take credit for anything that happened.

The social royalty, however, wouldn't be in the pool having fun. The queen never had fun; she delegated that to her jester while she was busy looking important. And looking over her kingdom.

I looked around for a suitable throne in the yard, and I found one. It was the porch, elevated and prestigious. If nothing else, it was worth checking out.

From up top, I had a perfect view of the pool party if I wanted to keep track of everyone at once. At the top, I found only three people.

The first was a guy named Brad. Now, you can guess how much I appreciate the male form by how much time I've spent describing it in the past seven chapters, but no matter how straight I was, I could see that he was incredibly good looking. He had a permanent six pack, a full bronze tan, perfectly styled hair, and I hated him immediately. He was the sort of guy who could become a movie star, do nothing but smile at the camera, and end up with a legion of fangirls by opening night.

The second was Caitlyn Walker. I had never spoken to her before or even seen her in person, but I knew her from the yearbook. I was flipping through the pages when her picture came out and grabbed me. She had a face so perfect I can't even describe it, golden hair that shone like the sun and eyes bluer than the sky, and that was just from the shoulders up. She had a tan that made it look like she had spent her whole life on the beaches of southern California, and she had a pair of breasts that plastic surgeons around the world must have studied in an attempt to imitate. Her body would have made a garbage bag look good, but she was sitting in front of me in a micro bikini that barely covered her nipples and let me tell that she not only shaved her womanhood, but also had it recently waxed.

Then there was the third member of the group. I didn't know her name, but judging by how she was sitting on Brad's lap and Caitlyn freakin' Walker was giving her a foot rub, I had to guess that either the two of them had lost a bet or that she was the one in charge. Which made no sense, because this girl didn't look like she fit in at all. For one, she had no breasts. None. Next to Caitlyn Walker whose breasts were on the verge of being *too* big (if such a thing was possible), this girl was completely flat, and didn't have much in the way of curves lower down either. Her skin was bone white, contrasting with her pitch black hair and surprisingly conservative black bikini. To go along with the monochromatic motif, she was wearing sunglasses, which was also odd. It was later in the afternoon and we were in the shadow of the house, so sunglasses shouldn't have been necessary.

She tilted her head towards me. "You've been making quite the name for yourself, Luke. We'll be watching your high school career with great interest."

Luke? Finally! All my stripping was paying off, and I had gotten someone to remember my name. "Thank you. Wait, what?" That sounded a little sinister, actually.

"Now, this is the first party like this you've ever been too." Her voice had a cold quality to it that I can't quite describe. "Are you impressed yet?"

I wasn't much of a partier, and the last one that I had been to was on my birthday. "I like what I've seen so far, glancing at Caitlyn. Technically I should target the girl at top, but I also *really* wanted to get that micro bikini off of her. I turned back to the black-haired girl. "Hold on, haven't I seen you before?"

"Probably," she replied with obvious disinterest. "It's a small school."

I snapped my fingers as the memory came back to me. "It was the chess team, a few years back. There weren't any girls on the team, but there was someone who came by now and then for a game."

"You play chess?" Caitlyn said, looking up from the girl's feet. She sneered. "Lame."

"Hey!" I said defensively. "Chess is a great game."

"You're right," Caitlyn said, seeing things my way. "It is a great game."

I turned back to the black-haired girl. "Did you used to wear glasses back then? I mean, not sunglass, but normal ones?"

"No, I'm actually blind," she said.

I blinked. "You are?"

She lifted up her shades, giving me a flat look and letting me see her eyes for the first time. They were green, vividly green. It was like someone had taken all the colors on the visible spectrum between blue and yellow and chiseled them facet by facet into a single pair of emeralds. "What do you think? Idiot."

"Hey, Mara," Caitlyn said, still rubbing her feet, "can you teach me to play chess some time? I've always wanted to learn."

"Shut your whore mouth, Caitlyn."

Ouch. That was uncalled for.

"But it's the only one I got!" the gorgeous blond protested.

"I said shut it." There was no venom in Mara's demand, just apathetic, casual cruelty.

Well, that was as good a reason as any to take her down a peg. I didn't know how she got to the top with such a childish body, maybe she was just rich enough to make up for it or smart enough to ride the social-political currents, but a little public nudity based humiliation should do her some good. And what was a Jedi if not someone who did good?

"You know, it would be a shame to go the whole pool party without getting in the water," I said, using the Force. "You should dive in."

She tilted her head slightly to the side. "Maybe I should," she decided. She got off of Brad's lap and handed him her sunglasses and made her way down to the pool. Her entourage followed behind her, and I followed behind them. I did my best not to get distracted by Caitlyn's glorious, jiggling backside and focus on Mara's black bikini. It would be harder to get off than some. String bikinis were designed to tantalize the viewer with the promised risk of coming off, and I could get Caitlyn's off as easily as blinking, but if Mara was the queen bee, then it was only right that I let her majesty go first. Mara's, though, had metal clasps and clips, promising security.

I could still do it. That was the point of getting her in the water, to make what I was doing less obvious.

People got out of our way as we came through, or rather, they got out of Mara's way. When she approached the diving board, everyone cleared out of the pool to give her as much room as she could possible want. She bounced twice on the board, then dove in with barely a splash as she entered the water.

That's when I made my move. I used the Force to pull her bottoms down her legs without bothering to unfasten them, and I used what I could remember from watching her earlier to undo the clasp of her top, and then I pulled it away.

She resurfaced a moment later, as though unaware that her bikini had suddenly detached itself. Instead of going for the ladder, she swam back to the diving board and, with strength her thin arms shouldn't have been capable of, pulled herself out of the water. She did a perfect handstand and held herself straight for half a second before bending over backwards and placing her feet on the diving board, as gracefully as a spider. She sat down with one knee curled up in front of her and the other leg dangling over the water, dripping, naked, and shamelessly confident.

She looked me dead in the eye. "So, Luke," she said from across the pool. "Are you impressed yet?"

I looked around at the rest of the kids, expecting some response. We had that level of maturity that required us to make a big deal about seeing someone naked, regardless of sex or figure, and after Mara's acrobatic exhibition getting out of the water, there should have been … something. But these people who had been careful to get out of her way a moment earlier were now all chatting quietly among themselves as though they hadn't noticed a thing.

It was almost like … when I had unbuttoned Sanchez's blouse and pantsed Forester, I had used the Force to keep them from noticing. But there were twenty, thirty kids at this party!

"What's going on?" I asked.

Caitlyn came up behind her and wrapped a towel around Mara's slender frame as she stood. "I don't think we've been properly introduced, Luke," she said. "My name is Mara Jade Anderson, or, if you prefer, Darth Mara. I have a proposition for you."
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

*Darth* Mara. Well okay then.

"Does it have something to do with us ruling the high school as, I don't know, master and apprentice? Because if it does, I'm not interested."

No one else at the party seemed to notice either of us, as though we were invisible. At least, that's what they were acting like, but they were speaking in soft whispers if not miming their conversations entirely as though Mara didn't want to be bothered by their noise.

Mara stood on the diving board with a white towel wrapped around her slim figure, her black hair dripping water. "You're not interested? If you want to say the line, just say it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "Besides, you didn't set it up right, and now it would just be disingenuous." I looked around. Having one person distracted by the Force into not noticing something was one thing, but when it happened to this many people at once it was just creepy. Of course, I had only ever tried to do one person at a time, so maybe it was easier than it looked.

She shrugged. "Whatever. But I wasn't offering to share power, anyway. My deal is this: you stay out of my way, and I won't destroy you."

I raised an eyebrow a that. "Oh, is that all?"

"I've been watching you for a while," she said. "You're not a threat. In fact, so far you've been nearly entertaining. But should you choose to be an annoyance, Luke, then you will experience the full power of the Dark Side."

I considered my options. "Now, I'm going to go out on a limb and make a wild guess that you've been using the Force for evil, is that right?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I've been using the Force for myself, just like you. Or have you been stripping people for justice this whole time?"

She had a point. My Jedi training veered toward the vouyeristic more often than I cared to admit. "No one got hurt."

"No one got hurt," she repeated mockingly. "As though that's a virtue. Sometimes people need to get hurt, Luke. Sometimes they deserve it."

Well, that was Sith talk if I ever heard it. And if I was facing a Sith, then this wasn't a game or even training. This was destiny.

"That's not the Jedi way, Darth Mara," I declared. "And if you will persist in your … evilness …" You know, considering how much time I spend imagining confrontations with the forces of evil, you'd think I'd have prepared better lines. "… then I will stop you!"

"How?" she asked. "I've been doing this for years, and you've been fooling around with the Force for, what, a month?"

Years? Crap. Crap, crap, crap. Still, the worst thing that could happen was that Mara would pull a red, double bladed lightsaber out of nowhere, and even that would be awesome enough to be worth how lethal it would be. "Well, I did just see you naked. That's got to give me a psychological advantage."

"Oh, right. Allow me to pay you back for that." She stretched out her hand and snapped. I expected her to try to use the Force to pull my trunks down, but instead they *disintegrated.* One moment I was wearing them, the next I was wearing dyed dust.

Then the spell that Mara had the rest of the kids under disappeared as well. "Hey look!" someone cried out. "He's naked!" As one, they all began to point and laugh at my naked body.

"Stop looking!" I said, trying to put them under a Force spell of my own, but either Mara was actively opposing me or I wasn't strong enough, because they just laughed harder and reached for their phones.

So, no, death by lightsaber was *not* the worst thing that could have happened. I couldn't fight her, not with my junk hanging out in front of everyone, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I ran away.

A lot of Jedi have run away in the past. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon Jin ran away in Episode One, Yoda ran away from Darth Sidious, and Luke Skywalker ran away from Darth Vader. Of course, they all did it wearing clothes.

I've never been very athletic before becoming a Jedi, but we get crazy bonuses. It's like a partial, self targeted telekinesis, so I could have jumped over a house if I wanted to. Jumping over the backyard fence was no problem, or the countless other fences between me and my house. I figured running through people's backyards would be safer than running naked down the street, but I still crossed paths with an elderly woman doing some gardening and a kid playing fetch with his dog, but no one who recognized me.

Until I got home, that is. My sister was playing with one of her friends, and when they saw me they started pointing and laughing and promising to tell my parents that I was running around naked. I responded as only a Jedi big bother could and told them to strip naked and locked them outside.

After I got dressed, I spent a long while thinking about what had happened and what I was going to do. There was a Sith in my high school, and she was powerful, but everyone had weaknesses. First of all, she was popular. People deferred to her, as I had seen, but popularity was a two edged sword. People would do what she asked, but there was bound to be some who hated her for being on top. If I found her enemies, I might be able to recruit them.

Second, and more importantly, she was a Sith. It was never answered if the Dark Side was stronger, and in many ways it depended on the user more than the creed, but it had its own strengths and weaknesses. The Dark Side taught focus through emotion, which was why the Sith were often so full of rage, Darth Vader being something of an exception. They were passionate and destructive, but they lacked control. If I could only use these weaknesses to my advantage.

Then I remembered that Rachel and her friend were still locked out naked. I filmed them doing jumping jacks just in case they had any bright ideas about telling anyone what they had seen, then I let them in.
Fantastic 4
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Re: Adventures of a Suburban Jedi by Booty

Post by Fantastic 4 »

Author's Note: Wow, I made it to the double digits! Here's something for everyone who's still reading this.
http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/com ... odie-test/
On a completely unrelated topic, if you've never played Knights of the Old Republic II, the Sith Lords, I highly recommend it. It's canon in my book, and I will reference and quote Kreia just as frequently, if not more so, than I will Darth Vader.


If you've never been popular, let me tell you something: it doesn't last. By Monday morning, I could tell right off the bat by the way people smirked, whispered, and right out laughed at me that my fifteen minutes of fame had been replaced by a lifetime of enmity. On the bright side, they stopped calling me Pantser, but on the Dark Side, I had earned the nickname …

"Hey, you're Little Willy, aren't you?"

I looked up from my locker and saw a cheerleader grinning at me. I didn't recognize her, but she wore the uniform with the blue and yellow school colors and miniskirt. Like everyone on the team, she was hot, with pronounced hips, wavy, brown hair with blonde highlights, and warm brown eyes.

"Uh, what? No, it's Luke."

"But you're the kid who lost his trunks at Chad's party on Friday and had to run home naked, right?"

I felt my face grow warm. "That … may have happened."

"You gotta show me."

I blinked. "What?"

"Please? I wasn't there and my friends only got pictures of your butt."

There were *pictures?* Mara was going to pay. "I'm not showing you my willy, I mean, my—"

"But you let everyone else see!"

"I did not *let* them—"

"Is it true that it's only two inches long?"

"I—what? No!"

Her eyes grew wide. "You mean it's shorter? Okay, show me. Pull your pants down, right now."

Looking back at this moment, I realize that I could have led her to a bathroom stall, shown her mine in return for her showing me hers, and then let her measure my dick with her tongue before leaving her clothes in a hallway trash can, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and instead I went with the idea I thought of on the spot.

"Are you wearing anything under your skirt?" I asked.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh, yeah? Of course."

I waved my hand at her. "You're not supposed to. It's against the rules."

Her eyes went wide. "Oh, right. I guess I forgot."

"If anyone finds out, you could get kicked off the team, or even expelled."

"I could get expelled for this!"

"You should take them off right now."

"I should take them off right now," she agreed.

"Actually, no," I said. "You should let *me* take them off for you."

"Would you? Thanks."

I knelt down so I was at eye level with her hips and reached under her skirt. I squeezed her round butt and pulled her bloomers down her long legs.

This wasn't exactly private, in the middle of the hallway, but no one in the crowd knew what to make of the situation. I was making her go commando, but she was clearly letting me do it.

"Little Willy's got balls!" someone said. Well, it was a partial victory.

The cheerleader (I never got her name) stepped out of her bloomers and I stood up. "Thanks for that," she said, grinning a brilliant smile at me. "Would you mind getting rid of those for me? I don't want to risk getting in trouble."

"No problem," I said, and I gave her a slap on the butt. She let out a yelp, then she giggled. I watched her bouncing skirt as she walked away, then I reached out with the Force to tuck the back of the hemline into the back of the waistband, revealing her bouncing butt and significantly more the next time she bent over.

After that, I tossed her bloomers in the trash and went to class.
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