The Blinds - Update 4/24/24 - Naked in School

[Enf_Kink]

Hello! I’m a long time lurker and first time writer. I have never written anything outside of school in my life. I have a lot of ideas for this story, but before I continue I was hoping for some feedback in terms of the writing. Is it easy enough to follow? I had no idea writing characters talking back and forth would be so hard. I already have the story in my head, just wasn’t sure if the dialogue made sense to anyone but me. Any feedback is appreciated!


The Blinds

“Oh no, oh god, no. No no no no no.” Emma internally screamed. “They can’t be real, they’re fake, of course they’re fake, I mean how could they be real?” She continued staring at her phone, reciting her mantra of disbelief, as she had been doing over and over for the last 15 minutes. She’d been laying in her bed watching tv, about to get ready to go to sleep when she received a text from an unknown number. The messages didn’t have any words. Only images. Several high quality images. Of Emma. Alone in her bedroom. Naked.

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing.The first picture was of the right side of a young woman, topless, looking into a mirror with a hair tie in her mouth, her arms above her head, hands in her hair, getting ready to tie a pony tail. At first Emma didn’t even realize the girl was her, she was too shocked to be receiving a photo of a naked woman from someone that she didn’t know that her natural inclination was to just quickly swipe it away. But when she swiped, the next image appeared and Emma’s eyes bulged. It was clearly a photo of her staring straight ahead, completely naked head to toe.

Without realizing it she was holding her breath, too stunned to move or blink or scream or cry. Paralyzed. When she finally let out her breath, she wordlessly, thoughtlessly, scrolled through the rest of the photos. It was an out of body experience for her. All of the photos were various shots of her walking around her bedroom naked, until she got to the last two. The second to last photo was Emma laying in her bed, on top of the covers with her eyes closed. The last image was her in the same position with her head tilted back, left hand grabbing her breast and right hand between her legs.

“How is this possible? I never leave my blinds open,” staring at her window with its closed blinds, “I don’t even remember a time when they have ever been open.” Then it hit her. A few weeks ago her parents had a company come in and clean the house, they must have opened the blinds when cleaning! Then Emma felt an immediate sense of dread when she remembered waking up the next morning at the crack of dawn, annoyed that the sunlight was coming in. She got out of bed, closed the blinds and went back to sleep right away thinking nothing of it. The pictures must have been taken the night before.

Emma’s hand holding the phone started to shake a little. “But who could have taken these photos?” she wondered. She has lived in the same house her entire life in a suburban neighborhood with the window facing her next door neighbors house, a nice elderly widow. “It couldn’t be Mrs. Shepherd, but who else would be able to see through my blinds?” Emma’s thoughts were interrupted when she received another text message from the unknown number.

“What do you think of the photos, do you like what you see?” said the unknown texter.

“NO! This is so embarrassing! Who is this and where did you get these?!” said Emma texting as quickly as she could.

“I took them, I consider myself a bit of a photographer.”

“I can see that… Has anyone else seen these?” said Emma, her heart beating as if she ran a marathon.

“Nope. Just us.”

“Oh thank god. Thank you so much for not sharing them with anyone, this is already so embarrassing, I can’t imagine anyone else seeing them!” Emma said relieved, starting to calm down.

“I bet!”

A couple of minutes went by of nothing. A chill went up Emma’s spine. “So wait, who is this?” Another minute went by without a response and she started getting nervous again. “How did you get my number, do we know each other?" A few more minutes went by and Emma was beginning to sweat. Finally a message came through, but it wasn’t the response Emma was expecting, instead it was a video. A 2 minute video of Emma masturbating on her bed. She almost screamed before stopping herself from waking up her parents and she certainly didn’t want to explain the situation to them. “Nooooo. Please delete this!” Emma pleaded.

“Why would I do that?” they asked.

“Bc I asked nicely?”

“No. I actually had a better idea. How about instead I send these out to everyone at school?”

Emma’s blood chilled. “Does this mean they go to my high school?” She wondered. “They must know me, because they have my phone number. Oh my god it doesn’t even matter, it just takes one other person to get these photos before everyone I know sees them. Sees me…naked…Masturbating. No no no no.”

Emma stared at her phone now shaking in her hand and typed “Did I do something to you, if so I’m sorry!”

“No”.

“Then why are you doing this?” she asked incredulously.

“Because I can”.

[TeenFan]

Hello Enf-Kink

Welcome to the writer's club.

Since you want feedback I'll provide a little.

The writing is well done. The main thing for me is it's not clear if this "Conversation" between Emma and the unknown person is in speech only
or texting only, or a mix of both. It's written in a way that suggests Emma is speaking into the phone responding to text messages and videos.
If all of this is texting only, perhaps it would be better not to use the word 'said'. It is clear what is being communicated.
_______________

It took me a while to get used to doing dialogue in my stories. When I first wrote short stories, years and years ago, I used as little conversation
as I could, not being comfortable with how people talk back and forth to each other (representing that realistically). Just takes practice.
__________________

Back to the story. Emma lives with her parents and she goes to school. I assume she is in High School, but this could be made more clear. I have
slightly different expectations of a girl who is 16 (in how she might react to this situation) than I do with one that is 19.

It's a nice intriguing beginning. I wonder what she is going to be asked to do.

[Enf_Kink]

Thank you so much for the great feedback! The conversation was only through texting, I’ll adjust that to make it more clear.
————-

I thought exposition was going to be much harder to write than dialogue, but at least at the moment it seems to be the complete opposite. Haha. But I’ll take your advice and just keep going

———-

Another great point. She is in high school, I’ll make that clear more clear. I didn't want to say her age within high school (especially if it makes it more confusing) to give the reader a choice of how old they want her to be on their own. But that just seems silly now that I think about it haha. Thank you so much for taking the time to give feedback, I really appreciate it!

[LauraLaura]

That was a very fun read!
I love stories that end with the main character losing in an embarrassing way.

[Darky]

Like your story. You build up Emma’s tension nicely. Wonder how far the unknown will go with her. Keep it up

[jojo12026]

I am not a writer, purely a reader. Maybe put the texting in italics to denote that it's not normal speech? Just a suggestion.
Also like the setup for the story and can't wait to see where it goes.

[Enf_Kink]

Thank you all so much for the feedback, I took your suggestions and added italics for the text conversation and made it clear she was in highschool. I hope you all like chapter 2, I had fun writing it. Please continue giving feedback on the writing, I thrive on both positive and negative feedback. Thanks again!


Chapter 2 - Water

Emma was in complete shock, “why is this happening to me?” she wondered. She wanted a moment to get her bearings straight and take stock of the situation, but the fear of the video and pictures getting sent out into the universe propelled her to respond right away.

“Is there anything I can say or do that will convince you to keep this between us?” she messaged back.

“Hmm, that depends on how far you’re willing to go to keep me entertained,” they replied.

“What do they mean by ‘keep me entertained’? How far am I willing to go? What could be worse than everyone I know seeing that video?” thought Emma.

“What would you have me do?” she anxiously replied, staring at the 3 dots on the screen.

“Do you have wireless headphones?” they asked catching Emma off guard.

“Yeah…AirPods why?”

“Put them in, I’m going to FaceTime you,” they explained, “you have one minute or I send the video out to everyone you know.”

Emma stared at her phone stunned by this sudden escalation before sprinting around her room to find her AirPods. She quickly pulled them out of their case and put them in her ears right when the FaceTime call came through. “At least I’ll be able to see who’s holding me hostage,” she thought, however when the call connected she was greeted only to a black screen.

“Hello?” Emma said in a barely audible whisper.

The voice that came through was the female sounding text-to-speech voice from Tik Tok. She was no closer to figuring out who was doing this. “Set up your camera where I can see your whole body,” they said as if this was a normal experience. Emma looked around and decided to put her phone up on her dresser, pointing down to show her full silhouette as instructed. “Very good. Let’s not prolong this, go ahead and strip,” said the robotic voice. Before Emma could even begin to protest she heard, “you have one minute to get naked. Go.”

“Am I really going to do this?” she questioned to herself, “they’ve already seen me naked, but that was without my consent, can I willingly strip naked for a stranger? What choice do I have?” She just stood there staring at her phone.

“30 seconds remaining,” they said in a deadpan tone, lacking any sympathy.

Emma looked at herself through the camera wearing her father’s old, oversized Sublime T-shirt and gray pajama pants. She watched herself on the screen putting her hands on the lower hem of her shirt.

“15 seconds and that video goes out,” they said with more venom than they had previously spoken with. That got Emma’s attention, she slowly pulled the shirt up over her head, exposing her bare breasts to the camera and her tormentor, grateful she wasn’t wearing a bra to have another thing to take off. She then yanked down her pajama pants and panties in one swift motion, taking no time to think about it, and now stood completely naked. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at the camera this time, instead she stared down at herself, left arm covering her breasts, right hand between her legs. “Arms at your sides,” they said, Emma pitifully lowered her arms knowing she was now on full display. She stood there dejected, made to feel ashamed in her own house, her own room.

“Are your parents sleeping?” asked the tormentor abruptly.

“Wha- yes I think so why?” she whispered nervously.

“You look really thirsty, I think you should go get a glass of ice water from the kitchen.”

Emma gasped, her eyes going up to the camera for the first time and then immediately looking away when she saw the sight of herself standing bare naked.

“Grab your phone and put the flashlight on until you’ve turned on the hallway light,” they instructed.

“I-I can’t do this, I have to pass my parent’s bedroom to get to the kitchen and they’ll hear the ice maker!” she stammered, trying to keep her voice down.

“Well I guess you’d better have a good excuse ready then,” they said nonchalantly, “you have one min-“

“Yes, yes I have one minute, I get it,” Emma angerly fired back, showing attitude for the first time. She grabbed the phone, switched on the flashlight, turned towards the door and found herself staring at the doorknob. She took a deep breath, grabbed the handle, and pushed the door without taking a step. The door slowly opened out into the dark hallway, making several long creaks causing Emma to involuntarily lean forward, grab the handle, and close it again. Her forehead now pressed to the door, letting out the breath she was holding, listening for any movement down the hall.

“Time is ticking,” she heard them say. “Make sure to keep the camera pointed towards you as you walk, I want to see everything.” Emma closed her eyes, grabbed the handle and walked out. She was now standing in the hallway outside of her bedroom, basically live streaming herself walking naked for a stranger. She turned on the hallway light and froze like a statue as her entire body lit up.

“Time to start moving,” the tormentor reminded her. She began to creep down the hallway taking tiny steps, every little noise sounding 100 times louder than usual. Slowly moving passed her bathroom door on the left and moving towards her parent’s room, she caught herself holding her breath again before she walked by. She stopped for a moment to listen for any kind of sound or movement, when she was satisfied, she started walking through the living room towards the kitchen. When she approached the kitchen cabinets, she was startled from seeing her naked reflection in the glass, maybe more jarring was seeing her left arm fully extended up, holding her phone, to capture her whole body in the shot.

Emma reached into the cabinet and pulled out a small cup, when she heard through her AirPods, “no no, grab a large cup, you’re really thirsty after all,” rolling her eyes she grabbed a 32oz plastic cup and walked to the fridge. This is the part she was dreading the most. Putting the cup up to the ice dispenser, she braced herself, but even so the noise of the gears turning in the ice machine immediately made her recoil, she was certain her parents could hear it, that even her neighbors could hear it.

It always takes a few seconds before ice actually comes out, but at this moment it felt like an eternity. Emma was staring at her parent’s door when the first few cubes landed in the cup, “all the way to the top,” the tormentor instructed. Halfway there and Emma was certain her parents were going to come out demanding to know what all the ruckus was. When the cup was finally full to the brim with ice she paused, holding completely still to see if she could see or hear any movement. Relieved to seemingly be in the clear, she filled the cup to the top with water not even bothering to half fill it to avoid hearing her tormentor speak again.

The walk back to her room was even harder, because now she not only had her left arm all the way extended holding the phone, now her right arm was holding a large cup of ice water. Not to mention with both hands occupied, her body was completely exposed. If her parents came out now, they’d see their daughter naked with her arms outstretched like a mummy, she’d have no way to cover up in time. She slowly moved her right arm holding the full cup of water in front of her, just in case. She was surprised her tormentor let her do this, her elbow now covering her right breast and the cup of water up against her left nipple. As she continued walking towards her parents room she began to pick up the pace, figuring if her parents heard her now she would be able to get back to her room before they came out. Now only foot from their door, the unimaginable happened. She heard a loud *BANG*, that made her jump and let out a yelp. When she jumped the water and ice flew into the air landing all over her naked body making her shudder and drop the phone and the cup, causing more water and ice to come crashing down onto the tile floor.

Emma couldn’t even comprehend what just happened. She was shaking, from both the cold and fear of being caught, too scared to move. Then she heard snickering through her AirPods and she understood. “That noise didn’t come from somewhere in the house, it came through my AirPods! That’s why they let me cover up, this was a set up to spill the ice!” she realized. Right when she was trying to decipher if the snickering was coming from a boy or girl, she heard her mother’s voice.

“Emma is that you, is everything ok?” her mother asked through the door.

“Yes it’s me,” Emma responded trying to keep her voice from shaking, while she stood a foot outside her parents door naked and dripping wet. “I woke up thirsty and went to get a glass of ice water and accidentally spilled it everywhere.”

“Oh ok,” her mother said sleepily, “do you want me to help you clean it up?”

“NO!” Emma said much too loudly, “No no, I’ve got it, don’t worry about it, go back to sleep.”

“Ok honey, grab some of the kitchen towels to soak it up, then put them in the laundry room.”

Relieved that her mom didn’t come out, Emma replied “I will!”

As she started heading for the kitchen, her tormentor vindictively said, “aren’t you forgetting something?” Emma turned around to grab her phone and without a thought, held it up to show her whole body again and sprinted back to the kitchen. Her breasts were bouncing in the movement and water was dripping everywhere, but at the moment she didn’t care, she just wanted to get this done as quickly as possible. As she raced back to her parent’s door, she realized it would be too difficult to only use one hand, so she got down on all fours and set up her phone on the ground, leaning it against her parent’s door. It was not lost on Emma that if her mother, or worse her father, opened the door they would see their daughter facing them buck naked on her hands and knees filming herself.

She finished her task as quickly as she could, hearing no movement from her parent’s room. She then picked up the towels and brought them to the laundry room, across from her parent’s door. As she grabbed her phone (adjusting to be back in frame) and now empty cup she started walking back to her room, relived she didn’t get caught, when she heard her mother say, “Emma?”

“Yes Mom?” she replied instinctively covering herself up with her right arm and crossing her legs.

“Don’t forget to refill your water or you’ll get thirsty again.”

Emma sighed, “Thanks Mom, I will.”

[Darky]

Simply hot. Thank god there is ice water!

[jojo12026]

Excellent!!

[TeenFan]

Nothing cooler than ice cubes on a teenager's nipples.
Very nice chapter, any editing suggestions by me would be nit-picking.