deleted story

[Cheese]

Not sure how to archive or delete a post so here’s a placeholder

[NudeBaG]

Interesting story
Good job!

[TeenFan]

Always good to have new writers. Please continue with more submissions.
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I found the early part of the story, where two boys at camp compare each other's dicks, to be the believable section.
The way the boys are described makes me think they are no older than twelve.

The part where the boy is pulled into a tent full of girls, and has sex with them, even spurting on several of them, I found to be less believable.

Make the boy a little older, more mature to be able to orgasm multiple times. The boy is in the girl's tent for 20 minutes. No need to rush
through that part in only a few sentences. Give us the works please.

[Cheese]

Yeah, I know it’s a bit unrealistic, that’s what I’m figuring out though- do people like unrealistic vs realistic more? Thanks for the feedback!

[Summers]

Realistic for me is always better. You don't have to be completely serious, but trying to tell the reader that a boy basically came over and over again to 8 girls, who all made him cum in multiple ways, in 25 mins. That's a bit too unrealistic.

The story itself is decent enough, but felt completely rushed.

Everything you crammed in, could have been a multi chaptered story, which each part getting its own chapter.

I would also say that it was a bit weird that the MC's reason for agreeing to be Ethan's slave, was to not risk being seen naked by girls, if he stepped out to get his clothes, which could only be a few feet from the tent. Yet, pretty much a few sentences later, without much happening, he is suddenly agreeing to walking out naked, flashing a light on every tent, and agreeing to not move if girls come out.

Why would he agree to do any of that? All that happened between him not wanting to even go a few feet outside the tent, and that, was he got a dick rubbed on his face.

So for me, if you want some feedback, i would make that first part one chapter, have the MC be stripped, and the clothes thrown out, but then Ethan needs to get blackmail material, he needs to get the MC's hands tied behind his back, and then get embarrassing photos and videos, a cock in his mouth and stuff like that, have Ethan just spend at least a few hours or even the entire night dominating him and making sure the MC knew his place.

Then the next chapter can escalate to Ethan making him do more embarrassing stuff, i would again keep it between them, get the MC to actively do stuff, this time untied, with the blackmail hanging over his head, and get him to even run outside naked or pee outside naked, and stuff like that.

Then you can bring the girl tent instruction in the 3rd chapter, and have it just the first 3 girls that chapter, maybe getting their own blackmail material on the MC, or just being content to embarrass him, make him orgasm a couple of times, and maybe make him pee outside.

The next chapter could be him back in the tent, and Ethan in control again.

Then the next, Ethan sets him up to fall into the hands of more girls at their camp.

could last a couple of chapters of humiliation and dares.

Those are just examples though, from what you gave us in the story, that shows that you have enough for multiple chapters if you ever wanted to expand the story, or maybe if you have another story in mind, to show you, that you don't have to rush a story, or jam a million things into it.

Your story could have just been about Ethan dominating the MC in the tent all night, and actually making him his slave, with blackmail material, and it would have been completely fine, and probably get a lot of praise.

Sometimes, simple is better, and less is more.