Beckie Bradshaw (The best Christmas present ever!) part 6 added
- EddieDavidson
- Posts: 677
- Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2023 2:38 pm
- Has thanked: 63 times
- Been thanked: 552 times
- Contact:
Re: Beckie Bradshaw (The best Christmas present ever!) part 6 added
I had a similar story where the main character's name was Mary Christmas (She's heard all the jokes at her expense) and my favorite line was "It was the best worst christmas we ever had" because it was supposed to go like this.
Unfortunately, a friend of mine at the time kept telling me how they would kill themselves and made it sound so awful that it put me off writing it. I gave it to him and he chewed it up and shit it out into a story that I didn't recognize. I've always felt like giving them a proper Christmas, this story sort of inspires me to think about that.
There are a lot of parts of this one that make me wonder/puzzle. My main constructive feedback is some of the paragraphs are massive walls of text and at times I find myself not wanting to read them. That's just me getting old though.
Unfortunately, a friend of mine at the time kept telling me how they would kill themselves and made it sound so awful that it put me off writing it. I gave it to him and he chewed it up and shit it out into a story that I didn't recognize. I've always felt like giving them a proper Christmas, this story sort of inspires me to think about that.
There are a lot of parts of this one that make me wonder/puzzle. My main constructive feedback is some of the paragraphs are massive walls of text and at times I find myself not wanting to read them. That's just me getting old though.
All of my stories: https://storiesonline.net/a/eddie-davidson
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
-
Bucket
- Posts: 267
- Joined: Sat Aug 03, 2024 6:35 pm
- Has thanked: 214 times
- Been thanked: 219 times
- Contact:
Re: Beckie Bradshaw (The best Christmas present ever!) part 6 added
EddieDavidson wrote: Sat Jun 13, 2026 9:47 pm I had a similar story where the main character's name was Mary Christmas
- EddieDavidson
- Posts: 677
- Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2023 2:38 pm
- Has thanked: 63 times
- Been thanked: 552 times
- Contact:
Re: Beckie Bradshaw (The best Christmas present ever!) part 6 added
Yes, she begins the story with a quote I heard from a guy I knew named "Jack Hammer".
"My name is Jack Hammer, sigh...my father was the joker, not me."
She said "I've heard all the jokes..have a Merry Christmas, Mary Christmas, and it never made me laugh for it to get old quick."
Her sister's name was Joy, her brother Nick, and Dad was Chris (as in Cringle). A family tradition, when your last name is Christmas. There is at least one town that has that name as well (in Florida of all places).
In that story, her sister was a daredevil, and loved doing dares. The story begins with them bored in rural minnesota. Wicked stepbrother wants to play a true or dare game and Mary suggests they clean the house as they were told to do.
Joy and Nick are game to play, and Nick says he'll clean but only if they do one dare which just happens to be running in the snow naked.
Joy loves it, she's already out the door before her clothes are off, and Mary reluctantly runs after. It was off to an amazing start, but a friend of mine and a few people on here at the time said it was too dark because they subseequently get locked out until the parents come home and the stepbrother made it seem they broke they were very wicked/naughty girls who forced them to watch them strut around naked.
I do not want to take away focus from this story,. I said all that only to explain that my goal was to have the story conclude on Christmas day so that her name/the family tradition coincided.
"My name is Jack Hammer, sigh...my father was the joker, not me."
She said "I've heard all the jokes..have a Merry Christmas, Mary Christmas, and it never made me laugh for it to get old quick."
Her sister's name was Joy, her brother Nick, and Dad was Chris (as in Cringle). A family tradition, when your last name is Christmas. There is at least one town that has that name as well (in Florida of all places).
In that story, her sister was a daredevil, and loved doing dares. The story begins with them bored in rural minnesota. Wicked stepbrother wants to play a true or dare game and Mary suggests they clean the house as they were told to do.
Joy and Nick are game to play, and Nick says he'll clean but only if they do one dare which just happens to be running in the snow naked.
Joy loves it, she's already out the door before her clothes are off, and Mary reluctantly runs after. It was off to an amazing start, but a friend of mine and a few people on here at the time said it was too dark because they subseequently get locked out until the parents come home and the stepbrother made it seem they broke they were very wicked/naughty girls who forced them to watch them strut around naked.
I do not want to take away focus from this story,. I said all that only to explain that my goal was to have the story conclude on Christmas day so that her name/the family tradition coincided.
All of my stories: https://storiesonline.net/a/eddie-davidson
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: square and 31 guests