Eddie Asks For Feedback (And also BJ's if so inclined)

[EddieDavidson]

(trolled by rawr, removing the story. It's too long for him.)

[F-250]

I mean your stories are interesting I just feel it could be nice with a longer story instead of these short ones.
I am not really good at judging as I see almost everything that isn't written by AI with zero human inference is good

[Rawrr]

I get the impression from silence on the things I write, and the lack of readership that I'm not very well received as an author. I've been using the forum as a way to get feedback on whether to invest time in a story but silence has led me to abandon every project. If someone could let me know in PM what I am doing in my stories to be unable to generate interest in literally any thing I work on, I'd appreciate it. I'd venture a guess if you still read my stories, you don't know why people don't anymore than I do. If I should just give it up, and go touch grass as one person told me on here a few years ago, send me it in a private message. Thats fair.
These

I’m happy to provide feedback if you like. The problem is that you tend to take it very personally when someone gives you feedback, many times I have seen on this forum very escalated arguments on your work, even for very small and minor constructive feedback comments. The end result of that can only be to leave you alone and that results, unfortunately in silence.

I’m happy to provide you some feedback as you requested.

The first thing I noticed is your stories are very long winded and many ways don’t build logically. By that I mean they don’t have a clear beginning, middle end and climax, and are very inherently sexual right from the get-go. They just don’t catch the reader (as much as they probably might in your head fulfil some of your fantasies, which a lot of these stories tend to reflect is a very unique specialized and very detailed fantasy).

The characters are a little generic and not unbelievable, even though I do acknowledge the genre does have a level of suspending belief. You still need to make it so that people care about the humiliation of your characters and do it step-by-step. But I don’t feel any of your characters start from a believable baseline: e.g the person who is slowly tricked him into being humiliated or something like this. I mean, this one is about a daughter who is in nude servitude to her parents right off the bat. There’s no buildup. There’s no plausible explanation provided for this. I also don’t think the characters represent really anything but different versions of yourself in that they don’t seem to be distinguishable e.g the Mum and Dad. Your women are fairly one dimensional as well and you don’t really explore their feelings as much as you probably could.

Lastly, the editing process really needs to be applied to this to make your stories a bit shorter. I’m not saying don’t have multiple parts stories. I’m just saying focus on quality writing over quantity writing.

I would say to compare this with really popular stories. What makes them popular on this forum? Perhaps this is a good way to think about it. So I’m seeing stories like Samantha uncontrolled, Amy, even a while ago, Julie’s babysitting disaster. Literally dozens of encouraging comments over
many months and years. This is because these characters have a sense of uniqueness, something to lose, and the story is very riveting and that there’s a good build and climax, and readers can really put themselves in the shoes of those characters and believe the situation - which keeps getting worse and worse for the character, but slowly slowly.

Sometimes it takes years and lots of feedback and practice to really hone a writer’s voice.

I can tell you a dedicated and a prolific writer, but I do wonder how much you really are in tune with your audience.

Sorry if the above seemed a bit harsh but I hope a couple of takeaways will help you hone your craft.

[EddieDavidson]

Short ones? Most of my stories approach 250, 000 words.


How much longer do you need them to be before anybody would even bother to respond to it? The maximum I can post in a single message is about 60,000 words and the reason I have to break up these into chapters is they always are the maximum. I've seen people get responses with constructive criticism and encouragement with six or seven paragraphs.

I don't think it's the length of stories and posting hundreds of thousands of words before I get my first bit of feedback is really something would unfair and lonely.

But I thank you for the feedback and it helped me make a good decision. This will be my last story here, at least for a while. I need to move on to where people might actually appreciate my stories and want them.


I'll still be here lurking to read other people's stories and maybe offer some feedback if asked and encouragement because I know how much it matters to writers.


I will continue on stories online, simply because I'm too stubborn to quit there


https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eddie ... ieDavidson

I'm slowly moving over old stuff to this site. I've been trying to go very slow so I don't spam. So it will be a long time before I get to the new stuff. I'm going to go back on this story and rejigger it so that the first day is more of a normal typical day for hwe. That was my intent anyway but as I wrote it felt right to experiment with her having tbeme used to it


Short or long every Storyteller needs a little bit of encouragement and feedback

[F-250]

IDK, I felt Harry Potter was "short" and it definitely isn't I maybe just read really fast..

[EddieDavidson]

no longer relevant, story died with the troll.

[EddieDavidson]

no longer relevant, story died with the troll. If a mod can delete this thread, it's no longer needed.

[F-250]

I mean as said before I don't know where to pull the story, my favorite story from your side was probably girl scouts, I would have loved an continuation of the setting with the girl and her mom (I think her name was Hailey or something like that) but back under "the girl-scout philosophy " I (don't how else to fraise it).

But I find you over on AO3 but only time will tell

[Grissini]

I think saying your stories are short is insane, the lenght of the chapter is totally fine.

I'm enjoying this story. I just hope you don't keep it merely exhibitional with the family, I'm looking forward to the family taking the protagonists needs into their own hands, if you know what I mean.

[EddieDavidson]

I had a story posted here but a troll stole my sunshine, and I was unhappy with it. However, if you read to the end, I asked for some input collaboration.