Where did your ENM / CFNM journey all begin for you?

[TigerJim]

Up until I was about 25 years old, I was always acutely shy and embarrassed about my private parts. Since as long as I can remember, I had a strong awareness of the need to keep my private parts private, covered, hidden, and unseen. The very worst thing that could ever possibly happen is for them to be exposed and seen.

From the very first School Medical examinations, through to being tricked into playing ‘Doctors and Nurses’ with a couple of girls from school, a bath-time event involving a school-friend’s step-mother when staying over at his house, then more School medicals examinations, even more medical examinations through employers, and then visit to the Hospital Accident and Emergency department (for a quite minor issue) but that resulted in two separate incidents of being naked and exposed to two different nurses. The continuing nightmare of having my willy exposed and seen seemed endless and harrowing!

In each and every case, the ‘perpetrator’ was always female. It would have been perhaps not as awful to have been exposed to a male. I, to this day, do not quite understand why this would be so, perhaps there is some kind of deep ingrained feeling that I had that girls and boys are quite different things with different identities and so should not cross the border in any way sexually and certainly should not be seen by the other sex. Even more so, it occurred to me that all girls, especially those with a medical connection, seem to be sexual perverts who will always try and trick an unsuspecting boy into showing his willy. I realise now that I have taken those thoughts to an extreme, but, at the time, I really do remember thinking ‘What on Earth is going on?’.

In my early twenties, I began to think to myself: This is intolerable, and I need to begin to do something to overcome this.

I began to hatch a plan to force me to overcome my fears.
I had to come out of my ENM shell.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this or understands this?

If anyone is interested, I’m happy to post the details on the above 7 events.

[Mattheus]

Don’t hesitate to tell us everything especially about your mom’s bath event? Lmao

[tim409]

CFNM has never been a problem for me, Our family lives this life style, When at home the males are almost always nude while the girls are always fully dressed when in common areas. The boys are nude from the time they are potty trained regardless of who is around. The adults believe that they should set an example so mom was always dressed in common areas and she taught all the girls to do so also and my dad was always naked when the boys are so we never thought it was a double standard, just something that MALES did but not girls

[jllash]

Up until I was about 25 years old, I was always acutely shy and embarrassed about my private parts. Since as long as I can remember, I had a strong awareness of the need to keep my private parts private, covered, hidden, and unseen. The very worst thing that could ever possibly happen is for them to be exposed and seen.

...

In my early twenties, I began to think to myself: This is intolerable, and I need to begin to do something to overcome this.

I began to hatch a plan to force me to overcome my fears.
I had to come out of my ENM shell.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this or understands this?

If anyone is interested, I’m happy to post the details on the above 7 events.

I can deeply relate to this, the worst thing I could imagine was being seen naked. I was terrified of getting pantsed. I was especially afraid of older stronger kids that I saw roughhousing each other all the time, knowing they could easily overpower and take my clothes and there would be nothing I could do to stop them (which fortunately for me never happened). Even changing in the swimming pool locker room I'd always change under a towel to not be seen naked.

I've seen home video VHS tapes of my young toddler self being carefree running around the house naked so I clearly wasn't always this way. I'm not sure where it began exactly, maybe just from my parents telling me I need to keep my clothes on.
Or maybe it started with cartoons or media growing up, I remember watching an episode of Arthur where he rips his pants and is devastated to be seen in his underwear and everyone laughs at him.
Or that scene in The Parent Trap where she loses a game of poker and has to jump into a lake naked and they steal her clothes.
Or that scene in Malcolm in the Middle when Malcolm pantses Reese's swim trunks in front of a girl and a crowd people who all laugh at him.
Maybe just seeing that happen to other people made me never want to experience it.
I also remember playing soccer in elementary school, one of my teammates told me he overheard his mom say she liked how big my butt was, and I was so grossed out at it that I didn't want a grown woman to look at me in that way, I kept my soccer jersey untucked so it would cover my butt when I played.
It's weird though because I do remember fantasizing about a woman seeing me naked. We had a few VHS tapes of movies, Zorro, and Titanic were among them, and I recall waking up early in the morning before anyone else and finding the scenes where Rose asks Jacks to draw her, and the scene where Zorro cuts Elena's dress off. I loved rewatching them and seeing them naked and exposed, and I started imaging myself in their situation, where instead Rose was the one drawing me, or Elena was the one cutting my clothes off, and I'd drop my pajama bottoms and stand in front of the tv naked at the same time when they were stripped imagining it happened to me in front of them.
Despite that I was still terrified of being seen naked by anyone.

I'm not sure if I ever consciously came to the realization that "I need to do something to overcome this" and seek out CFNM+ENM situations to take control of it in my mind, but that might be one of the ways I've tried to cope with it (see viewtopic.php?p=51277#p51277 ). I still don't really feel in control though, in the moment that I'm experiencing a CFNM+ENM situation I still feel embarrassed and humiliated the entire time, and I regret doing it in the moment. It's only when I look back in hindsight that I enjoy the situation and relive it in my memory, and even then it's mostly just enjoying the female reaction to seeing me.
I wonder if I just love that I'm able to make a female feel some good emotions of laughter at my own expense, it's the best if she feels excited or empowered with the knowledge that she has seen me naked. If she was disgusted or grossed out I wouldn't look back on it fondly.

That's enough about me though, back to the point of this thread I'd love to read about your experiences. I love that the 'perpetrator' was female each time, there's something about a female going out of her way to see a guy naked, I just love it.

[NickTwisp]

Don’t hesitate to tell us everything especially about your mom’s bath event?

There was one story awhile back about a guy staying overnight at a friend's house. His Mom makes them take baths together. At one point the author's same age female school classmate enters the bathroom & sees him full-frontal naked while standing up waiting for his buddy to be done with his own bath. She's friends with the sister and has just stopped in. The embarrassment of course is the female classmate seeing him totally naked. And then she says something about telling other students about what she saw in school next week.

Don't know if this would be the same story or just a similar situation.

[TigerJim]

1, First School Medical!

This post is regarding an experience from my early period, up until I was about 25 years old, when I was always acutely shy and embarrassed about my private parts. At the time when I had a strong awareness of the need to keep my private parts private, covered, hidden, and unseen. At a time when the very worst thing that could ever possibly happen is for them to be exposed and seen. At this time, I was seriously inside my ENM shell, and this is one of the first events that lead me many years later, to begin to think: This is intolerable, and I need to begin to do something to overcome this, and begin to hatch a plan to force me to overcome my fears, and begin to come out of my ENM shell.

I was about five years old. I had recently started my first school. All children were routinely medically examined to make sure that they are fit and healthy etc. My Mother was invited to bring me along to the medical centre for this medical examination. I simply tagged along and did as I was told. I had absolutely no idea what was coming.
We were taken into the medical examination room by a nurse. The nurse and my mother sat on chairs next to each other in the middle of the room. I stood on the floor in front of them both. I was told by the female nurse conducting the examination to strip down to my underpants. I did so. Even at that early age, I found this rather embarrassing, but I did as I was told. I did think to myself ‘thank goodness that I’ve still got my underpants on covering me up’….. Ears, mouth, nose, skin, feet, etc were all checked and examined. All good. Suddenly and totally unexpectedly, the nurse pulled down my underpants to my knees! I stood there completely exposed with my willy out on show.
I was in frozen shock and utter embarrassment. To make things worse, I realised that both the nurse and my mother were staring down at my ‘little boys willy and balls’. Their stare was probably only 5 seconds, but it seemed to last an age. To make things even worse still, the nurse reached out with her hand and cupped my little collection of precious objects into her hand! She gave them a gentle squeeze, a quick feel, a couple of gentle rubs back and forth, and a little jiggle side to side, then she tapped my little willy three or four times to the side with her fingers and made it wiggle.
My Dingle-Dangle was thoroughly Dingle-Dangled!. I was absolutely mortified! I just stood there completely still with my pants down at my ankles for a couple of minutes more whilst the nurse and my mother discussed things. I was crippling aware of my pants down and my winkie out for all to see. I felt totally naked and exposed. After a few more minutes, I was invited to pull up my pants and get dressed. I was very relieved to hide my winkie away. We left and went home. The subject was never raised between my mother and I. She probably thought absolutely nothing of it as it was all perfectly routine and normal. I thought of it as highly significant, embarrassing, and something that I never wished to be repeated.

Of course, it was repeated, many times, in varying scenarios over the coming years, and I simply retreated a little further into my little ENM shell.

This was the first of many mortifyingly embarrassing pants down – willy out on show – being looked at situations to come, and my ENM journey had begun!